Should I learn how to do twerking

[zeejaz]

Hello My husband like waching girls twrking a lot every time I see him using his iPad or phone he's waching twrking and I know he likes boots and than makes me so jealous!-:( I got big bootty but I don't know how to twrking ,so ladies I'm doing anything I can to keep my husband with me only so should I lern and how can I lurn ?:-)thanks

[RockRose]

Londres,  I certainly never meant to have offended you.

[Londres70]

@RR

Well, RR..........you don't know my husband and you have never asked  him about the 5 characteristics he values in me.  I know my husband would't tell you one of them is my "twerking" skills; it probably wouldn't be anything to do with sexual skills as he doesn't see me ONLY as a sexual being.  When

I am not sure what "media" you are referring to,  Nowadays we are bombarded with images and such telling women you need to be super sexy and that's all you need to be and that's the answer to ALL problems and the key to a superb life which is nonsense.

I am not against doing things to please your husband, bf, etc., however, if a woman is doing things out of being desperate to hang on to her husband or to keep him from straying there is something terribly wrong.  Pleasing someone should be done NOT out of desperation because you fear you will be left.  If the OP just wanted to spice up the action in the bedroom a bit and the marriage was solid and she wasn't insecure about herself (feeling as if she isn't enough) and she thought twerking sounded fun and she wanted to do that then I would say go for it.

I am NOT twerking down my husband's leg or being overly sexual just to keep my husband from looking at other women or just to keep him from straying.

You should probably reread the OP's posts.  

[specialmom]

  All sorts of men look for all sorts of things.  It's a given that we want to please our husband, be kind to them, etc. and why would anyone go the long haul with someone otherwise?  But looks fade and we need men that love their women beyond their bedroom skills, beyond the pretty face, beyond being sexy.  That's all part of attraction for sure.  But relationships don't last built on that.  

I know my husband thinks I'm cute and sexy.  But I'm really pretty confident he married me for my mind.  There's a lot of pretty faces out there but true connection often comes from within.

And yep, there are some that never get past that surface level attraction and those are often the relationship hoppers.  

To me, I always find it interesting how people view love.  Many see it differently than me.  Love to me is about doing for someone else, putting myself in their shoes, making them happy, sacrificing, not always being right, going out of my way, making sure I make them feel good.  Not a feeling I have.  

I definitely make lunch for my husband.  :>)  But I think that is because I love him and not my obligation to please him.  You please when you love.  And my husband gets me my Dr. Pepper when I need it.  :>)  It's a mutual love.  

I am always baffled at women that are in relationships that they feel like they 'have' to do things.  My husband would hurt himself for my own embarrassment at doing something I was uncomfortable with.  He wouldn't want me to be embarrassed.  He'd not ask me to do something that caused me pain sexually because he wants me to enjoy it as well.  I don't get being with someone that is in it for themselves and that if you want to be with them, you have to be uncomfortable or in pain.  I just couldn't live like that.

And I needed to find a man that viewed life as I did.  A man looking for a woman that places boundaries and stands up for herself.  But STILL triy to please him.   Just within my personal boundaries.  

[RockRose]

So I had another thought.  

Back during the Scott Peterson murder trial,  there was a witness who had driven down the Peterson's street on the day in question.  She and her husband were an elderly retired couple.  She couldn't pin point the exact moment she drove down the street but knew it was a few minutes before noon because she had been out shopping and was coming home to make lunch for her husband which she does at noon.  

I believe it was Catherine Crier on CNN reporting on  this witness,  sitting at a desk with two other female anchors and they exchanged the smuggest,  smirkiest look and chuckled that she was fixing lunch for her husband,  chuckle,  how sweet,  smirk.

This old couple have a lifetime of caring memories of each other,  each taking care of the other,  and I think it's wonderful that the old wife made a special point to come home from errands so they could do their routine of lunch together.  

[RockRose]

Hmm I don't know,  ladies!  I personally blame the current media for telling women they don't need men and shouldn't go one step out of their way to please their men.  They should dress to please themselves only,  and any man who wants a woman to do something special for him,  because she loves him,  is being humiliated.

I think if a happily married man listed the top 5 characteristics he loves about his wife,  being a good problem solver would never be on any man's list.

But if ASKED, is your wife a good problem solver,  they'd say well yes she's smart and she takes care of things.  

But that's not what keeps them buzzing around.  What keeps them buzzing around is a woman who will please him,  be sweet to him,  listen to him,  admire him,  be cute and funny and flirty with him and make him feel wanted and loved.

If a man doesn't love you,  trying to be more sweet and sexy doesn't work and it ends up looking desperate.

If a man DOES love you,  being sweet and sexy and doing things just to please him is dynamo.

[specialmom]

Profound statement by Londres.  Very very true.  Boys want girls, MEN want women (not girls).  And we should all want to be with a man.  Not sure if that made sense as it might have sounded better in my head.  LOL

[Londres70]

I will blame the media for giving women the impression the way to keep a man is by using her body and looks.  They don't encourage women to problem solve by using their brains.  It's so sad especially when women feel that have to compete with a phone and a computer screen.

The solution isn't to be more sexy, but to be more secure with who you are and with your marriage.

[zeejaz]

Thank you all:-)

[zeejaz]

Thank you all:-)

[RockRose]

Well,  I agree desperation isn't sexy.

I personally think twerking is about the ugliest thing you can do,  but I think there are guys who like it.  

To me,  it's just as lovely as some girl grabbing a roll of fat around her waist and jiggling it around rhythmically.  I just don't see the allure.  ;D

[specialmom]

I agree with rockrose.  Some do look sexy twerking but they typically are not self conscious, uncomfortable, and desperately trying to entertain their man.  Therefore, I'm afraid this will backfire on you hon.  

I would look for the root issues in this relationship to work on sweetie.  Wishing you all the best

[RockRose]

I think women have always tried to please their guys by learning what they like and getting good at it.   Whether it's sexual stuff,  cooking,  hobbies,  whatever,  women learn what they like and do it out of love.  The line crosses when it's something the woman clearly doesn't want to do or is dangerous or humiliating.  

I don't know where twerking lands in there with the humiliating,  but if you don't feel humiliated doing that I think it's great.  My guess is it's good exercise.

On the other hand, I can't imagine trying to do that while someone else watched.  It's about as sexy as vomiting IMHO.

[Londres70]

Aren't you the one that posted about an issue with your husband and porn?  If you are twerking definitely ISN'T the answer.

Perhaps you should consider therapy........marriage counseling?

[Londres70]

Hon, you just shouldn't do things that you don't like so he won't stray and/or look at other girls.

To be honest, I don't know any heterosexual man including my husband who doesn't look at other women . They just do.  It doesn't mean you need to be competing with these women.  Just because he is looking doesn't mean he is wanting them over you.

You are going to do this twerking because you think he likes it and you don't like it...........that really doesn't make sense.

You need to think about what you are doing.

This sounds more like issues going on in your marriage and if this is true "twerking" your husband isn't the solution.

[specialmom]

I kind of agree with londres.  We shouldn't have to 'work' to keep our husband.  If you want to do it because you think it will be fun, then go for it.  but if it is in an effort to hold onto your husband, I'd look for the root cause for why you feel so vulnerable.  

Agree too that making a fantasy come true is a nice thing to do with your partner (as long as it isn't demoralizing and safe)---  but it shouldn't be in an attempt to keep a man faithful.  He should already BE faithful.  good luck

[zeejaz]

Yea I mean if I can give him anything that he wants and he like so may be he will not looking some other girls over the internet that's my hope and I dont really like to twerk that's not me but like I said that's somthing that he like but he never say that he  liked it but I know he do !

[Londres70]

You are doing anything you can to keep your husband?  Isn't being the real you enough for him?  

I wouldn't recommend learning to "twerk" to keep a man, but because you find it's something you like and want to do.  Learning to twerk to compete with some girls he sees on his Ipad or phone is not necessary.  Why be jealous over some girls is watching on his phone or Ipad?

[zeejaz]

I appreciate for your response and I will definitely go head and look that up :-) and how long it takes to learn?

[Life360_Dave]

Hi, fullfilling the spouses fantacy can be a good thing as he would focus on you. Its a simple dance thrusting the hips in a provocative way. You can google twerking on on U-tube and just follow the dance steps in your free time. But go slowing in the beginning so you dont throw your back out!