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I don't know what to do

I recently found out that I was pregnant
I am about 8 weeks now and te babys father and I are not even in speaking terms. We started out as friends with benifits and then i got pregnant.
At first he was so excited and really helpfull. Now he just yells and treats me horribly because he doesn't believe Anything I say
my pregnancy tests are all negative but I went to the doctor and got a ultrasound and blood work and I am indeed pregnant but he believes im lying abou all this an all I want to do is trap him
i am so lost on what to do. I've showed him the ultrasound and I'm bringing him to a doctors appointment but I just don't know how to handle things.
4 Responses
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13167 tn?1327194124
Collegepanda,  bringing him to the doctor's appointment is the right thing to do.

Although you are pregnant,  and you know it,  he acting wisely.  From his perspective you are doing what SO MANY girls do - lie about being pregnant.

I think his attitude will change when he sees you aren't doing that.

Best wishes.
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Avatar universal
Excuse me??!!  

"Friends with Benefits"??! !

What the H*LL is that supposed to mean??!!

We expect some kind of commitment  from a "friend" if a pregnancy "happens" to develop?????

ANYTIME you have sex You are risking pregnancy - why EVER risk a pregnancy without a committed relationship?? AND if You want commitment - don't be having sex with "friends"  

I truely, TRUELY don't get this!!  Friends with "benefits" sounds so CASUAL and if You're only going to have "casual" sex You could do that by yourself and You wouldn't be risking pregnancy......

but I'm open if You want to explain to me what "friends with benefit" means.  Maybe I'm full of s*it and don't have a clue what I'm saying here - does it mean all bets are off about just "friends" if a pregnancy does develop??

Good luck.  I hope You find a Daddy for Your Baby.

I apologize if I sound judgemental here but, come on, ladies!!  Let's take some responsibility for our choices!!  Let's not be "having" "sex" with men who are not committed to a relationship.
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Avatar universal
RockRose has given you good advise - hes probably totally freaking out right now and part of him is hoping that you aren't preganant, so he's acting as if you are lying about it (because part of him is hoping you are!)

Once he goes to the doctors appointment and realises that you are pregnant, he will hopefully accept it and help you work this out and be there for you. Since you two are friends, you would have an idea what kind of guy he is - is he generally a good guy with a good heart who you would expect to do the stand up thing and stick by you?

It can't hurt to remind him that he must know about the 'birds and the bees' - and sex always has the possibility (even on birth control, although then its a small possibility) that this can happen. He's had the fun now he has to man up and deal with the concequences.

Were you on birth control that failed? Also, how old are you? I think that the most telling thing that will tell you how he'll act when he realises you are in fact pregnant is if he is a pretty stand up guy in other areas of his life.

Good luck,
Perch.
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1310633 tn?1430224091
What RockRose said... taking him to the doctors appointment is a good idea. Until he sees hard facts that you are indeed pregnant, I'm not surprised he's acting this way (as it's the way a lot of men in his situation would act). As RockRose said, there are a lot of women out there that would indeed try and "trap" a man by feigning pregnancy. Now, I'm not saying that the way he's acting is right or anything like that, I'm just saying that in this type of situation, I'm not surprised he's acting this way.

As for what TTinKKerBBell said... I agree with the message, but I'm going to be a little less judgemental and harsh about it, and be a bit more polite in the way I relay the message:

No good can come of FWB. It works for men, in my opinion, but not for women (in most cases). To most men, sex is just that... sex. To a woman, it's more of an emotional, loving, caring act, and 'feelings' are bound to emerge. Men? No feelings, caring, love, or emotion... it's just a physical act and a means to an end. I'm speaking in very general terms here, as this is how it is for MOST men & women. Of course, there are exceptions to the rule, but in general, this is the way FWB goes.

That being said, you're past the FWB stage and it's too late to look back on it now and think "what if", as you're already with-child.

See how the doctors appointment goes and see if he changes his tune after he hears proof, from the doctors own mouth, and go from there.

I wish you the best of luck. This isn't an easy situation to deal with, but you've gotten yourself into this and now it's time to buck up, be an adult about it, and deal with the situation as it's not just going to go away.

Post back and let us know how the appointment goes.

LMNO

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