realationship

[Kelz72312]

I dont know how to put this i really love my husband but my feelimg for him are fading away for some reason he has lied to me so but but i really do love him i dont wanna lose him but idk wtd anymore i need help with it.

[specialmom]

I'm sorry you are going through this and it is hard.  I know you wrote to us before about having suspicions.  At that time, I didn't think you said anything that he was lying about specifically or what exactly gives you the impression something is wrong that he is doing.  Do you have any specifics about that?  What does he lie about?  

It would be very hard to be productive in solving relationship problems if you fought or argued every time you tried to talk about them.  

You have two choices-----  both could lead to better times.  First, you can try again to talk to him with a different approach.  questions like "are you happy?"  Is there anything I could do to make us a happier couple?  Those questions open up dialogue that isn't about trying to 'catch' him but more about improving the relationship.  You may get farther with those.  I would suggest marriage counseling to work on communication  but if he won't even have a discussion with you, I'm sure that is something he'll refuse.

But the thing is, if someone is constantly accusing you, constantly worrying that you're lying, etc. ----  that gets really old.  That would make anyone defensive and annoyed.  Understand that your paranoia that he's lying may be causing a rift between the two of you too.  

so, the other thing you can do is to keep your eyes open but leave him alone.  quit asking him or 'trying to figure it out'.  Decide to not give into your feelings that he is lying.  

Do you have any issues with anxiety by the way?  I'm wondering if your pregnancy isn't leading to an increase of these types of symptoms and that this is all part of that??  

I don't like that he won't talk to you but I don't know if you are a broken record because it would also get old to have the same conversation over and over.  Does that make sense?

[Kelz72312]

Everytime we even try to talk it turns into an arguement.

[thatquietgirl]

Have you two sat and discussed the behaviors that led to him lying to you about whatever he lied to you about?  Have you come up with ideas for what you might need from him in order to give back your trust?