can someone advice me

[kshikha]

I am married and 30year old lady, I got married to my boyfriend after a long relation of 6years, I had a difficult childhood and struggled a lot in my life, i started working since i was a teenager to support my family and now my parents are settled. My problem is like i doubt a lot on my husband since he is in media business then the problem increase a lot, When we were girlfriend and boyfriend i never doubted on him but once he tried to cheat on me he was doing double timing and when i came to know i was shocked and broken cause i did all my best effort to keep my bf happy but cause of my job and hectic schedule i was unable to give proper time to him, so he said he was feeling alone which made him to move towards other, then i thought of breaking up with him as it was no use sticking to a person who is not urs, but when i tried to break up my boyfriend came back to me and apologize for whatever he did and promised me that he will never repeat this again. Then things went fine but cause of that other girl i was so much broken that i couldn't trust my hubby till now. I swear i want to change myself but i am not able to, my husband has changed a lot he is nice and decent now, but sometime i doubt a lot specially when he go for outdoor shoot or work then i keep thinking like is he sleeping with somebody or is he trying to make me fool.. Now this problem has started effecting my married life, my hubby is getting irritated of explaining me things and like if i dont get answers i really go mad and talk **** to my hubby. I am trying hard not to think anything bad about my hubby but things does comes into my mind. I am so doubtful that i keep checking his emails and cell phone to assure myself, I am going mad can somebody help me, otherwise i am a very calm and cool person but i dont know why i cannot control myself when its comes to doubting my husband...I been to the psychiatrist also but nothing really helping me, Cause of this madness my hubby said if i continue like this my hubby will leave me... I am so tensed and depressed that i cannot express. Please advice me what should i do...

[mammo]

I agree with the above post.  Often after a spouse cheats, the other is left with constant doubt and suspicion. When you took him back you had to decide if you could let this go and move forward, and obviously you can't.  That doesn't make you wrong, it's all about what we as a person can live with.  It's a terrible way to live your life, but it's still about you and what you can live with.  Maybe couples counseling would help.  Your husband made a mistake, a big one, but it may have made him realize what he was losing and wanted to work at keeping you. But the pain he caused you may prevent you from truly letting go, and this is understandable.  I feel there is no excuse for cheating.  If things are getting bad in a relationship then talk to the other, never  disrespect them with an affair.  Get out of the marriage and then do your thing, but we owe our spouses that respect.  You may just have to tell him that he did too much damage for you to be able to trust him, and you don't want to live your life like this.  You have a decision to make.  If you truly want this marriage to work then couples therapy is the only hope.  If not, move on and you will find someone who can love and appreciate you, and you can have a relaxing marriage free of all the worry and suspicion.  I wish you all the best and do take care.

[robrob76]

you obviously dont trust your husband and a marriage can not survive without trust.
you both need to talk about this 'affair' and put it out on the table and decide if you can move forward from it..there is no use sitting there worrying if your husband is 'playing up' ...you either move past this and gain trust back or you let go..and let him leave.