I think i hate my best friend?

[BrunetteBimbo]

Okay so ive felt like this for a few months now
She treats me like something shes just scraped off her shoe.
She always picks out the negatives in me, and calls me sad and pathetic

Lately ive been feeling very down, and the way she has treated me feels like im in the sea and someone has shackeled two tonnes to my ankles and im just going down and down and down
But for me in reality, down is meaning depressed.
Sometimes she can be fine, yet a majority she just isnt!
Me and her are two completly different people, the way we dress, music, lifestyle.
She always thinks shes right and it just gets on my whick, the amount of times ive nearly hit her, my mum says i must be able to just take so much crap 'cause if that was her she would of hit her. I guess i just dont want to seem like an agressive person, to me violence is a last resort when you have done anything and the only way to stand up for yourself is to fight. I dont want it to come to it

Now i know when your reading this you will all comment; just tell her how you feel.
But she is the kind of girl that will take everything and twist and pick at it.
Making me go into dates, times, proof and if i cant she will deny saying or doing it, so in all end ill just seem pathetic, so its not easy.

Ive been kind of giving her the cold sholder, seeing if she takes the hint, but now, anything i do i seem to be "upset" "gloomy" and to be honest that just makes me feel even worse....

I was going to move schools, but my options came through, im doing a diploma and no where else does it, and to achive what i want to be when im older, it will really give me a kick startt..

So im rather screwed, anyone got any advice?

[SeriousSam]

What are your resources?  I am personally of the mind that martial arts or yoga are good for helping people calm down and focus, plus if you get good at them you have an extra skill that you can market as a teacher when you get in college for cash.

All things being equal people who are always right and have the need to make sure you know that they are right even on unimportant things have at least the following going on.

A)  They are insecure.

B) The topics are more important than you might have thought.

At fourteen this and a book on body language might give you an edge in dealing with many people friends included.

[sweetpea03]

I would get involved in other activities. It can be scary to join a new group, though with sports the others do have to talk to you as you are on a team. I'm sure there will be at least one or more friendly people on the team who would let you in with them. There are probably other people in a similar situation to you looking for friends. It's best to just keep away from your "best friend". I had a "best friend" like yours too and it was tough in the beginning to get away from her, but it was best that I did that. I no longer talk to her at all and we both found our own new friends. Good luck

[teddybears4ever2]

My dad always used to tell me that you can be your own best friend.  My high school best friend and I were at odds with each other until about 3 weeks ago.  That was around 6 years.  If you quit worrying about what other people think you will find that your life is a lot happier.  If you don't feel comfortable around someone then you shouldn't have to hang out with them.  You can make new friends and hang out with them.  
I didn't have many friends when I let my best friend go, but I'd say that I am doing pretty well for myself right now.  If someone treats you badly it means that they are jealous of you.  It does not in any way reflect on you.

[BrunetteBimbo]

ive told her how i feel and shes understood it hurt me.
shes even realised her faults, she cant be happy for anyone and admitted it
but she gets everything so i really dont get why she cant

at the moment shes been okay which is good, but last time we fell out all this happened and after a week it went back to it

so im not to sure, ill keep you informed about her if she does switch back to how she was. (:

[imanaddict]

You are a vulnerable age and other kids can be so terribly cruel. I was also a victim of things like that when I was in junior high and I would come home from school crying and begging my parents to let me transfer schools. Girls would target me for whatever reason, call me on  3 way teasing me and using things I had told one of my friends in confidence against me. It was pure and utter torture. What I didn't realize at the time was that if I had only stood up for myself and not allowed them to get to me, I would have been much better off. While I could never stop what others said about me, I could change how I let it affect me. There will always be someone out there who doesn't like us. That is their problem, not yours. It's how you feel about yourself that is important, not what others think.

[pitter]

first of all, I would change this name you have here. It is a bit belittling. The bimbo part.
Then, I would gradually make my way out of this friendship with this girl. as quickly as possible.
You have to protect yourself with people like her. I learned that along time ago.
She probably will never change, so YOU should just quietly change friends .
Look for some people who are positive and kind...and that won't walk on you  or pierce your soul.
best wishes.

[BrunetteBimbo]

I know, and i really dont want it to end up like that..
Ive had people walk all over me nearly throughout my whole  life with bullys, its not been a very good 14 years start to life :/ Plus...
Its partly the way i look, i hate the way i look, so that doesnt do anything for my confidence either :/

[imanaddict]

Part of the reason your self esteem is low is because you are letting her get to you. Stand up for yourself. You cannot go through life letting people run all over you. If you do, then that is exactly what will happen and it's no way to live.

[BrunetteBimbo]

Hmm.
Im probably just making this hard for myself now.
I have no self confidence what so ever! so the thought of joining of a group with people ive never met rather scares me. I probably seem pathetic but its the way ive been brought up.

There is only a limit of sports my other mates play, but no others will come join me :/
Im only in a small clique. I have a few friends outside my main group, but they are not the kind of people id hang out with :/

But thanks for the good suggestion, i might put the idea of joinin a group to a friend, hopefully they might join :)

[penswriter]

just start distancing yourself from her. Miss a call here or there, get "invited" to sit with someone else at lunch, get a hobby or on a sports team she's not. If you get busy, where she's not involved, you'll just drift apart.

I had a few really close friends, they weren't into sports and what not while I was. I joined the swim team, played softball and was in the schools orchestra. When we got into high school I got really busy. We all drifted apart and I made new friends.

[BrunetteBimbo]

I really want to stop being her mate, but all hell would brake lose at school.
I know thats exactly how i feel, i really dont understand why she would treat me like this, all i ever do is try and be nice to her, We have been bestfriends for a year.ish now, and in the last 5 months ive just started to hate her guts!

I really want to tell her, but she makes everything seem like a task, and makes it difficult for me, and i wouldnt even know where to start on telling her how i feel about her.

Thank you for helping, it means alot :)

[imanaddict]

I would stop being her friend until she got her act together. No one deserves to be treated that way, especially from someone who you consider your best friend! I do think you should talk to her and let her know that the things she says hurts your feelings and are making you feel worse about yourself. She's supposed to lift your spirits, not make it worse on you.