I've been with a man for 7 years now. Although the beginnings haven't been as shiny and eventless as one might hope (and need), we've built over the years a strong and caring relationship. However... we've stopped having sex years ago, because for several reasons I stopped feeling desire for him. For a long time I thought I had a problem with my libido, but last november, I fell in love with another man, and although we haven't had sex, because I don't want to cheat on my partner, I want and desire this new man more than I've ever desired anyone.
It's been 9 months now... and although our relationship is hidden and secret, we're already talking about having a baby together. I know, it's insane.
I'm at a complete loss. I no longer know what's right or wrong. Sometimes it feels completely stupid to leave a man for whom I feel strongly, and still deeply love and care about; sometimes it feels insane to stay with a man I no longer desire, not even enough to have a baby with, while there's the other man I feel so passionate about.
I'm not going to ask you "what sould I do", I sense that no one can help me choose between them, even if I'd really like that. Advice welcome, but no-one I've talked to has wished to commit themselves to advising me so far. I've just been told : "do what's best for you, try not to get anyone hurt".
I would like to ask : is it completely crazy and irresponsible to want to have a baby with somebody I've only known for 9 months? I'm 33, he's 37. Would you strongly oppose that, based on your experience? I'm afraid my own experience isn't very positive... I've seen a couple of friends have a baby without really knowing each other break up shortly after the baby turned 1...
I crave for advice! Thank you in advance.