Is It Really Me?

[slinky110]

I am a 27 year old male, who has been in relationship with my gf for over 2 years. We hit a rough spot a few months back and we are in the process of working things out, but i have found through various arguments that shes not being up front with me about how she really feels and how much work we need to do? My question is this; we have tried to have sex a few times and while i have no problem gettin aroused, when we physically get into the act it doesnt last long at all. I feel that it is a mental thing between the two of us, because i almost have to beg for what i get maybe once a month, but she tells me that it is solely my  problem or issue and that shes fine. So is it really me or just another reflection of her not being up front with me about how things really are with us?

[mami1323]

Maybe she was brought up to look at sex as just procreation?  What religion is she?  

[slinky110]

i wasnt unfaithful to her, but she does feel like ive violated a trust with her. if she cant trust me, i would rather her be upfront with me and tell me that she doesnt. ive never cheated on her or slept around. but as far as the sex goes, its just that i dont think shes really being upfront with me about her real feelings, so shes totally shut down in the emotion dept. i think that thats whats gettin me that i cant just shut it down while she just lays there or doesnt participate, but she gets an attitude about not bein pleased

[mami1323]

Were you unfaithful to her?  That can really effect someone and perhaps she can't let it go.  Maybe she thinks about you with someone else and that's what pulls her away during sex.    If she's going to be with you, she needs to learn how to move on and put it behind her.  If she can't then you both need to end the relationship because it doesn't sound like it's going to go anywhere.

[slinky110]

i think that its just that she doesnt trust me, and i do think we need to communicate better with each other. id rather her be upfront with me and tell me that she doesnt trust me rather than make every small discussion an arguement because im supposed to know. and as far as the sex goes i get tired of her tellin me that shes doin me some kinda favor

[Jasmine205]

Maybe she's still angry at you and is watching you carefully to see things, what things I don't know. But its sounds like you feel punished by her, right? Like shes delibritely with holding sex on purpose? Does she trust you?

[slinky110]

i mean i orgasm early.  and yes thats the way i thought of it too, that  i was just so excited that it happened early. i feel like i need to beg for it because the only thing she focuses on is the last time and its frustrating

[PromisedLand]

by "doesn't last long at all" are you talking reach orgasm early, or losing your erection mid act?


Jim

[mami1323]

If you are having sex once a month then that's the reason you aren't lasting long.  When you finally do get it, you're probably so excited that you finish fast.  Why are you both intimate only once a month and why do you need to beg for it?  There are definitely a lot of things wrong here.