Is a "Full" Massage cheating

[td0213]

My husband's co-workers were teasing him about not going for massages with them. He works in a Wall Street firm and needless to say the tension is crazy. Apparently these guys go for massages and the girls massage everything causing the men to ejaculate. My husband and I think this is wrong if you are married. Well you can not believe the debate this caused. Inno way are we bashing massages. I too go for them - but there is a line and we think that kind of massage is cheating. What do you men and woman think - are we prudes???

[penswriter]

my answer is simple. if i'm not in the mood...i'm not doing anything. if he's not in the mood...he's not doing anything. simple as that. if i don't want to do something...i'm not going to. if he doesn't want to do something...he's not going to. we RESPECT the fact that the other doesn't want to  have sex, oral sex or any form of sex. what does the other person do? nothing. whatever we were doing prior to. do we sex "full massages"? no. just like if he's hungry and i'm not...he gets himself something to eat. he doesn't expect me to get up and stop working or taking care of the kids to fix HIM something to eat. just like if I am hungry I get MYSELF something to eat. i don't tell him, demand or ask him to stop what he's doing to get it for me. i'm self sufficient as is he. we don't depend on each other for every little thing.

[specialmom]

I believe this to be an old post and no matter what reason my husband used to justify a full body massage ------  he'd be cheating.  PERIOD.  That is my opinion.

[michpaul]

Was that a spin or just another single word taken out of context. Please read it again, And I believe The word you missed is capitalized  "never".
Also I agree with your higher standard statement. The book "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman is a great tool for couples who want to  improve thier marriage "to a higher standard" which, by the way, ( A close loving marriage)  is one of the best gifts you can give your children.

[michpaul]

Yes, that was a question whether she was raised to respect and appreciate men. Her statements in prior postings of what she would do to her husband or what she would tell him to do, were what prompted me to ask that question, yes, out of curiosity.
         The way my wife and I handle the times one is in the mood but the other is not is that, shall we say "one scratches the others itch".  Kinda like your hungry and you don't have the time or pehaps energy to cook, a quick fast food meal stops the hunger pangs or you could say "satifies" the need or desire.  We don't consider this "slavery" , "demeaning" and its certainly not "forced". Its a compromise bourne out or our love and committment thats meets the need or desire of one with minimal imposition on the other.  

Oh, by the way neither of us have any desire to go get a "full" massage. We just take care of that at home.

[Dstone1]

2007? holy necropost batman!

[specialmom]

I guess the same argument that you use as justification would hold true for stealing.  If you didn't have it is alright to take it.  I hold people to higher standards than that.  If intimacy is an issue, then either it should be addressed within a marriage or the marriage should be over.  My opinion.