Is it healthy to argue?

[Aurea801]

My Fiance and I argue quite alot, and I'm begining to think it's not normal anymore. we have an argument about stupid silly thnigs alot and it nromally gets out of hand and should not actually become an arguement but turns into one anyway! I'm getting fed up of it now. I've been thinking about it lately and I came up with the idea that perhaps we are both to attached to each other and we make each other our world. I don't know if I'm right. But as to my question, is it ok to fight?

Aurea801

[Aurea801]

Thank's ladies, will take ur advice.
Aurea801

[mami1323]

Pick and choose your battles.  Think if it's worth arguing about.  If it's not a big deal just don't bother arguing about it.  Sometimes people get so caught up in proving they are right over whether the fight is worth it.  That's how little things get blown out of proportion.  Sometimes you have to bite your tongue to avoid an argument.

[VicUser]

Aguements can only happen when both people engage. It is hard sometimes to not snip back but if you change and stop arguing then it stops.

Try this, the next time things get heated, stop talking and give him a big hug and tell him one thing that you like about him, follow that with a kiss and turn and walk away.

BTW my Grandpa used to do little things just so see my Grandma snip at him, he would turn to me and smile. It was thier dance, the way they should they cared.

[specialmom]

Every couple has disagreements and fights can lend themselves to a new understanding of the other.  Constand bickering, however, is probalby not the greatest thing.  Usually when every little thing bugs us and we are fighting over it, it means there are larger problems we just aren't talking about.  Also, when fights happen over and over about the same thing, it is because the original issue is never being addressed or resolved.  Lots and lots of bickering can become a habit that I'm afraid, after years results in feeling unloved, misunderstood and resentful.  

So is fighting okay?  on the surface yes.  Daily picking at each other, no.

Also knowing HOW to fight is really important.  If done the right way, it doesn't usually escalate into the personal insult category.  And once it goes personal, feelings get hurt and those feelings add up and it can end a relaitonship.  Taking turns talking and really listening to each other looking to understand what the other is saying will help a lot.  Talk about actions not the person.  

And yes, it is good to be interdependent on your partner in which you share your life together but one must first be independent to enter into that stage.  No one's life should completely revolve around their significant other.  Have friends and interests and other passions too.  That will keep your relationship more interesting anyway.  good luck.