Am I over-reacting at my boyfriend??

[mikka718]

SO BASICALLY I STOPPED SPEAKING TO MY BF AND I TOLD HIM NOT TO SPEAK TO ME FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK, HE CALLED THREE TIMES LAST NIGHT AND TEXTED ME SAYING, "BABE PLZ PICK UP THE PHONE," CLEARLY I DIDNT. I TOLD HIM I DIDNT FEEL LIKE EXPLAINING MYSELF YET AGAIN AND IM GOING TO SLEEP BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO TALK TO HIM.
WHAT HAPPENED WAS WE WERE ON THE PHONE AND I TEXTED HIM SAYING WE SHOULD HANG OUT 2 TIMES NEXT WEEK BECAUSE SCHOOL IS AROUND THE CORNER AND I WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU. HES TELLIN ME WE ONLY CAN HANG OUT ONE DAY AND MY PROBLEM IS WHY??? ITS NOT LIKE HES DOING MUCH. YOU CANT TAKE 2 DAYS OUT YOUR WHOLE WEEK TO BE WITH ME??? HES ALWAYS BUSY AND IM SICK OF IT. ONCE I START SCHOOL, IM BARELY GOING TO SEE HIM, HE SAYS HE UNDERSTAND, BUT I DONT THINK HE REALLY DOES. IT PISSES ME OFF BECAUSE NOTHING EVER FAZES HIM AND WHEN WE SPOKE ABOUT IT, HE KEPT SAYING ONE DAY AND DIDNT EVEN MAKE AN EFFORT TO CALM ME DOWN. IM ALSO UPSET BECAUSE HE ACTS LIKE HE DOESNT CARE. ITS BEEN 24 HRS AND STILL NO PHONE CALL. HES THE TYPE THAT WOULD ACTUALLY NOT SPEAK TO ME FOR DAYS EVEN THOUGH I TOLD HIM TO, THATS NOT REALLY WHAT I WANT. HE NEVER GETS IT. IM NOT TALKING TO HIM UNTIL HE TEXT OR CAllS ME. IM TIRED OF PUTTIN MY PRIDE ASIDE FOR HIM. HES SUCH A DUCH AND HE NEVER GETS IT........AM I OVER-REACTING??

[specialmom]

Hello.  Well, I'm guessing you are in college and that is a really fun and exciting time in your life.  You may not even realize that as you are not an old mom like me that remembers "the good old days."  But they ARE good old days . . . or at least they should be.  

I don't know if you are over reacting or not but it does appear that he is taking the relationship (and you) for granted.  I don't think at your age and at this stage in life that you two need to be joined at the hip and actually . . . would prefer you not be . . . but typically, one does not have to beg their boyfriend to hang out.  It should be a mutual thing where both want to be together.  (in my opinion.)  

I want you to be loved, adored, sought after and feel like the man in your life is ALL there for you.  Again, it doesn't have to be your absolute soul mate at this point in your life . . . but this sounds like he is quite lackadaisical about this relationship and you deserve more than that, right?

So, here is what I'd do---------  I'd go ahead and hang out with him before you go.  Don't be mad---------- just go and have fun.  And then when school begins . . . throw yourself into it.  Go out with lots of people as friends and see where life takes you.  Because I'm afraid when a relationship is such a thud (and the guy is a bit of a dud) at this stage in the game. . . you do not want to waste too much time on it.  Again, just my opinion.  Move on when school starts with no regrets.  good luck

[mikka718]

lolzz @ the caps lock comment, srry, i really didnt know this would work, i wanted to get someone's attention, but i wont again.
I think your reasons for leaving your gf can be quite validated, although it seems as if you've spent alot of time in the relationship. Just remember no relationship goes to waste, you learn from each one and you have imp stuff to focus on like your future. I can see that you gave it a try, but u just couldn't deal anymore. I say if you love her, stcik it out and know that this is what ur ganna have to deal wi for a verrry long time. If shes not the one for you, then move on and find someone with a better connection.

[Psamathos]

firstly, sorry not to react on the story, but I think you have all the advise you need here.

@kay2486
I totally disagree with you on your second paragraph. A strong serious relationship is not about seeing each other. Just as it is not about -for instance- sex. It is about trust and loyalty. Right now I'm breaking up with my gf, but that is not because we haven't seen each other much, it is because she is behaving like a 9-year old when she is 18 and has other mental problems (deppresions, irrational fears) and I just can't cope anymore. But we have been together for 2.5 years and those were great years. We saw each other max. once a week and that was fine. We would text eacht other some days and there were days that I would not hear anything from her and vice-versa. The thing keeping us together was not the comfort of being together, it was the knowledge that we would have that comfort again. The trust that we would not leave each other for someone more handsome or smart.
However since her medication has become more severe she is not the same anymore, and with her problems increasing I cannot keep up my studies and my relationship with her. Too bad I have to choose for the latter to leave, but it is my only option in many ways.

@mikka718
speaking to someone is a great way to help a relationship get up again. He needs some alone-time and probably doesn't get how important this is to you. However on a side note, would you please not use caps lock. It's like you're shouting.

[kay2486]

i dont think you're over reacting because after two years of dating it should be more serious than seeing each other just once a week, do what makes you happy, you may find yourselves drifting apart when you start school as you may each other much.

a strong serious relationship to me is when people see each other everyday, and after two years you should be.

your boyf doesnt want to make the relationship stronger if he refuses to see you 2x a week, you both need to be happy, if it were me then id be off after two years of seeing him once a week, two years is a long time to date and in my eyes it should be more serious than this.

dont let him make you think you are being possessive, once a week isnt good enough is it? and you know it?

[mikka718]

WOOOW THANK U SOO MUCH YOU GUYZ ESP PENSWRITER AND JROBERTSON20. IM TAKING IT ALL IN. AND WE'VE BEEN DATING ALMOST 2 YEARS NOW. I GUESS I WILL SPEAK TO HIM ABOUT EVERYTHING YOU SAID JROBERTSON20!!! YOU ARE SOO RIGHT, BUT MAYBE I AM OVER REACTING LIKE PENSWRITER SAID. I REALLY APPRECIATE THE ADVICE!!

[penswriter]

Yes, you're over reacting. When I was dating my husband I saw him a total of 2 weeks a YEAR. Yes, a year. We've been married for 2 years now. You can build a strong relationship and not see each other every single week.

[jrobertson20]

I think seeing somebody only one day a week is not enough to build a strong relationship.  I don't really understand why he is limiting it to one day a week.  Personally if that is all my boyfriend wanted to see me then I would call it quits.  If I am not important enough to spend more time with then it's not worth it.  How long have you been dating?  My advice to you would be to do what makes you happy.  You are young and have a lot of life ahead of you.  Do things that make you happy.  If you want to date somebody that wants to see you more than one day a week then I would do it.  It's your life and you need to be happy.  If he is not committed enough to give you more time then leave.  Let him know you are serious.  A relationship is about what both people want not just what one person wants.  Good luck and I say you are not over reacting but if you are tired of it then I say make a move for the better.  Good luck.

[x89rt]

I would say yes but I don't know how the relationship is so idk. Love is compromise.