Aa
Lied to my boyfriend
I met a man online and we have proceeded to have a relationship for several months via phone and the internet. At first I thought it was just going to be a fling or something, but I've grown more and more fond of this man, and he has clearly become more fond of me, as well.
When we first started to talk I lied to him about a couple things. First, my religion. I told him I was a completely different religion that I actually am.
Second, I lied to him about my physical appearance. I told him I weigh less than I do. It isn't like hundreds of pounds or anything, but it will probably be noticeable when we meet.
I want to tell him and come clean, I feel sick to my stomach that I was dishonest with him, and even more so over the fact this will hurt him. I am afraid now he won't want to be with me, and I am sure he won't trust me (justified).
I know I have to tell him. I cannot live like this, especially since it turns out this isn't just a wild sexting fling- It appears he really cares for me and I really do care for him.
I wish I knew why I did lied. I've been known to exaggerate, since I was a child, but an outright lie... I'd like to blame my depression at the time, or the fact that I was drinking a LOT when I first met him (I have all but stopped, because of him), but those seem like excuses to me. I feel like the worst person in the world and I cannot believe I am going to hurt this man.
When we first started to talk I lied to him about a couple things. First, my religion. I told him I was a completely different religion that I actually am.
Second, I lied to him about my physical appearance. I told him I weigh less than I do. It isn't like hundreds of pounds or anything, but it will probably be noticeable when we meet.
I want to tell him and come clean, I feel sick to my stomach that I was dishonest with him, and even more so over the fact this will hurt him. I am afraid now he won't want to be with me, and I am sure he won't trust me (justified).
I know I have to tell him. I cannot live like this, especially since it turns out this isn't just a wild sexting fling- It appears he really cares for me and I really do care for him.
I wish I knew why I did lied. I've been known to exaggerate, since I was a child, but an outright lie... I'd like to blame my depression at the time, or the fact that I was drinking a LOT when I first met him (I have all but stopped, because of him), but those seem like excuses to me. I feel like the worst person in the world and I cannot believe I am going to hurt this man.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi there. MTV has a whole show on this--- with the onslaught of the internet as a meeting ground, many get caught deceiving or being deceived online.
I wouldn't expect him to react well to finding out the truth, I'm sad to say. You presented one 'vision' of yourself that isn't true. Maybe he won't care but there is a good chance he will. If he took the time to ask about your religion and you answered a certain way to please him . . . he's going to care. If he was talking about fitness, etc. and asked about weight and you lied, he is probably going to care as it is important to him (enough to make conversation about it).
Life is rarely a fairy tale in which a couple overcomes all obstacles. Lying about who you are is a pretty big red flag.
But you never know. He may be invested enough to not care. You're going to have to come clean and tell him and sooner rather than later. As in today. The longer it goes, the longer you are lying and the more deceived he will feel. good luck
I wouldn't expect him to react well to finding out the truth, I'm sad to say. You presented one 'vision' of yourself that isn't true. Maybe he won't care but there is a good chance he will. If he took the time to ask about your religion and you answered a certain way to please him . . . he's going to care. If he was talking about fitness, etc. and asked about weight and you lied, he is probably going to care as it is important to him (enough to make conversation about it).
Life is rarely a fairy tale in which a couple overcomes all obstacles. Lying about who you are is a pretty big red flag.
But you never know. He may be invested enough to not care. You're going to have to come clean and tell him and sooner rather than later. As in today. The longer it goes, the longer you are lying and the more deceived he will feel. good luck
You say you don't know why you lied, but everyone knows why you lied. You wanted to appear more attractive. He may have lied too.
Before you meet, you need to make this clearer or the meeting will be horrific.
When you say you didn't lie about "hundreds of pounds" - it sounds like you really lied about significant weight. If you presented yourself as slim and you're quite heavy, this will be a difficult meeting.
If he wants a slim woman of a specific religion, and you are a heavy woman of a different religion, it isn't worth your time or his to meet.
Come clean.
Before you meet, you need to make this clearer or the meeting will be horrific.
When you say you didn't lie about "hundreds of pounds" - it sounds like you really lied about significant weight. If you presented yourself as slim and you're quite heavy, this will be a difficult meeting.
If he wants a slim woman of a specific religion, and you are a heavy woman of a different religion, it isn't worth your time or his to meet.
Come clean.
Well its certainly common in Internet dating. But I'm positive if you keep it to yourself and wait until you meet all those feelings you have for each other will also come into question. Of course you weren't sure where it was going, so you may have changed details to protect yourself from being hurt, but now you care for him and you know he deserves honesty. So you tell him, maybe he's got something to get off his chest too... if it doesn't work out after, then you've saved yourselves time and emotional energy.
Well, you aren't the worst person in the world. This is a common dilemma with online dating or just dating period. People lie and/or embellish this and that. Weight or size is a common one.
You've lied and you know you need to tell this man the truth. If he decides to not continue the relationship then so be it, BUT you don't know what he will do. He could surprise you and give you another chance.
Tell him the truth. You will be hurting him more by continuing to lie.
You've lied and you know you need to tell this man the truth. If he decides to not continue the relationship then so be it, BUT you don't know what he will do. He could surprise you and give you another chance.
Tell him the truth. You will be hurting him more by continuing to lie.
Well, you aren't the worst person in the world. This is a common dilemma with online dating or just dating period. People lie and/or embellish this and that. Weight or size is a common one.
You've lied and you know you need to tell this man the truth. If he decides to not continue the relationship then so be it, BUT you don't know what he will do. He could surprise you and give you another chance.
Tell him the truth. You will be hurting him more by continuing to lie.
You've lied and you know you need to tell this man the truth. If he decides to not continue the relationship then so be it, BUT you don't know what he will do. He could surprise you and give you another chance.
Tell him the truth. You will be hurting him more by continuing to lie.
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