Lost!

[K1990]

So I'm sure most of you who will read this have followed my posts... and I know there will be some interesting comments on this but I need some input!  I have a really good friend that I have known for 5 years and have had feelings for, for that long.  He was my first pretty much everything and we have always been close.  He left 2 1/2 years ago for Iraq with the army and I finally got to see him for the first time since this last week.  Well no surpise but the feelings are still there... the attraction is still there and if anything else the feelings have grown.  My heart was racing and my stomach had butterflies the second I saw him again...  My faince and I have been having issues on and off for a year and the last 2 weeks have been hell!  Things already weren't going so well when my friend got here.  Well there is a group of friends that have been friends since high school and we get together a lot (im the only girl in the group).  Well this friend from Iraq is part of it and my fiance and I are both part of this group both individualy and together so it's complicated.  Well while my friend was here things happened and I couldn't stop the attraction and my fiance and I were yelling at eachother and i was just not happy!  My friend and I started out just making out... then we ended up having sex.  The horrible thing is I feel so bad about doing it but I know that if it were to happen again I would allow it!  The next night my friend and I talked a lot and he kept kissing me and I never stopped any of it.  I love my fiance so much and that is why I can't tell him and that is why I can't seem to leave him.  I have tried but then he brings up the baby and brings up everythign we have been through and I can't get myself to walk away.  I live with him, have 2 dogs with him... how can i just leave all of that and not worry about it?  He means so much to me but I am not happy more often than I am!  I have talked everything over with my friend and he actually just went back to where he is based a few days ago.  He wants to be with me but right now we can't be because our friends will get upset and feel bad for my fiance.  We could wait a few months and then date and everything would be okay.  I can't just up and leave him, he did nothing wrong!  My feelings and emotions are all over the place and I have no idea what to think!

[babypooh]

I'm glad that you talked things over with him :) I wish the best for you and I am very glad that you realize it was wrong and that it cannot happen again. I hope your friend respects your opinion and that if you and your ex fiance decide to stay together, that he manages to put everything behind you guys and move on. It's going to be hard, but I'm sure he's glad you told him. Good luck with everything :)

[treazzure007]

um...while i wouldn't diagnose K i was about to comment on her dramatics.  i thought back to some of the older posts (where i thought she was just really young, silly, and in love) and she did over exaggerate circumstances and blow little nothings into big problems but i meet people like that all the time and it's always something going on.  some people ALWAYS have to have something over-the-top going on in their lives or they don't feel 'alive'.  if there is a disorder named for that then that's the label

perhaps, that relationship was getting boring, so the thrill of an engagement and wedding planning was very welcoming.  now engaged, it was something about the rings for a bit.  also, there were things about the families and cultures too.  then it was boredom w/ the engagement and the rings and so now this.  whether K and david break up or not, this is still an exciting chapter right here.  ...and next week on this electrifying series ladies and gentlemen...  question is, is david down for this ride???  

[K1990]

I thank everyone for your opinions, some more than other but you all can say what you would like.  I've gone over everything, I have told my fiance what happened and we have discussed all of this... he said he forgives me but it will take time for him to trust me again.  We are going to give it sometime and maybe try again or maybe not...  We are going to work on everything, we will still live together but I will be moving into the other bedroom.  We will see what happens and reasses when the time comes.  I still love him and I know I do.  Once I handed his ring back it all hit me... that I don't want to give this up that I love him and that I want to do all I can to make it work.  And that means no more talking to my friend from Iraq and I told my friend that.  That we have nothing, what happened was stupid and a mistake and it can't and will never happen again!  So for those of you that have been kind and supportive (Babypooh, BabyHardiman, RockRose).  For those of you were weren't very respectful your opinions are your opinions and you may say whatever you would like.   None of this is easy but it is all my fault so I have no one to blame but myself.

[babypooh]

We are all entitled to our opinions, but once again, there is no need to say it in a disrespectful manner. Being blunt and being disrespectful can be two separate things. K1990 will ask for the help that she needs and I haven't seen her ask for any kind of help for any mental condition. Until she does, we shouldn't suggest it as it can come out to seem uncalled for.
RockRose gave her opinion and if she believes that K1990 does not fit the description of the mentioned mental condition, then that's fine. That's not necessarily enabling K1990 here.
I think we can all get along and be friends without bashing each other's comments :)
Remember: Love and Peace, ladies :)

[mayflowers]

RR, we are not talking about her behind her back. This is an open forum for God's sake.  She can read this, everything is out in the open.  I think she does fit this description except for the suicide talk.  I haven't heard that yet.  There is something mentally wrong with this young girl.  She needs help and it's people like you that are enabling her to continue with the hysterics and drama.  You are not helping her, you are enabling her to continue bad and dangerous behavior.  I think you feel sorry for her and are trying to sound like the "good mother" that she never had.  Get a grip lady and stop enabling people who really need some medical attention.

You write like you know about everything and it seems like you've belonged to every group imaginable.  You write like you're an expert on  medical conditions, relationships, marriage.  If you've got that much time on your hands, something is very wrong with your life.

[RockRose]

While we're all discussing her behind her back,  and some diagnosing her over the internet,  let me please join in.

I don't think this diagnosis fits her at all.

HISTRIONIC PERSONALITY
Constant seeking of reassurance or approval.    -sort of
Excessive dramatics with exaggerated displays of emotions.  - not really
Excessive sensitivity to criticism or disapproval.  not at all,  exactly the opposite
Inappropriately seductive appearance or behavior.   - no
Excessive concern with physical appearance.       - no
A need to be the center of attention (self-centeredness).   don't know
Low tolerance for frustration or delayed gratification.   no,  exactly the opposite
Rapidly shifting emotional states that may appear shallow to others.   no
Opinions are easily influenced by other people, but difficult to back up with details.  no
Tendency to believe that relationships are more intimate than they actually are.  no
Making rash decisions.   no
Threatening or attempting suicide   no


I've seen histrionic people,  and she isn't it.