Mother/Son Relationship breakdown

[karshemo]

My Gay Son has stopped all contact with me stating that our relationship was "too toxic"  I have no idea why this has happened, I have always been a huge supporter of Gay rights and issues and have shown nothing but unconditional love and support for him.  Our relationship changed when he married his Sweetheart five years ago.  I am a widow and desperately want to understand why this has happened and pray that this situation can be reversed very soon.

[specialmom]

Yes, we do.  And generally, people get over our shortcomings that all parents have.  Some hold onto them.  He sounds like he is doing that now.  I would tell him that this hurts you because you love him and you are always here for him if he ever wants to talk.  That's about all you can do.  

I'm sure this is really painful.  

[karshemo]

I do appreciate your comments Specialmom and yes, I feel he was let down my myself and my husband during his early school days, however, once the problem came to ahead and out in the open, it was dealt with but perhaps not completely to his perception or understanding at that time. I admit that my Son and I are very much alike and have clashed on occasions, unfortunately, I beat myself up for my shortcomings but then I guess, all Mum's do.

[specialmom]

I think that is a really odd response, who's normal.  There are actually normal patterns of behavior and responses that people have.  This doesn't mean that they aren't unique individuals but just being cut off from your son makes one wonder about a history of some types of issues between you and he or you and his partner.  That's what the question is.  

You seem to be indicating that he is cleaning house so to speak of his 'past' due to harm he suffered maybe not at your hands but in some way, he must view something you did as contributing or not being there to help him.  Otherwise, you'd be his champion during  those hard times.

This is not a condemnation of your parenting.  We are all doing the best we can.  But whether real to you or not, he has some perceived pain you've caused him.  It is helpful if you can think of what that might be.  

[karshemo]

Bullied because he was a very sensitive child, No counselling as far as I am aware. Who is really normal? define normal?

[Londres70]

Normally people just don't cut you off without something major happening.  Perhaps it was one incident or a cumulation of incidents over the years.

[Life360_Dave]

Its possible that  what he sees in your eyes is not the same as what he hears you speak.