Avatar universal

My boyfriend is allowing his ex and her kids to stay with him

Been with this guy and im practically living with him well his ex had no where to go with her children and i understand him wanting to help her and all that but im not sure on how to feel about her staying there for a couple of days!!
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Avatar universal
My read is that this lady lives by playing on the sympathy of others. The 2 or 3 days may be weeks or months. She is no man’s dream of a perfect relationship. My suggestion is you give the bf a time limit on his generosity. Tell him you will be seeking greener pastures if the limit is exceeded, and act accordingly.
Helpful - 0
I think the gal and her kids stayed for the short time and then left. If you click on her responses above (the down arrow), it sounds like she weathered the storm and everything went fine.
Thanks Annie. I should pay more attention to the dates on these things that pop up.
Eh, no big deal. I used to catch myself answering things that were ten years old. lol
ppowb---  I'm so glad you came over to relationships!!  Do you know I have a friend who in her divorce decree the judge ordered that her ex was to stay at her house during his visitation?  She could either stay or go but he was to stay at the house (her house) when visiting the kids!  It was mandated to give continuity to their kids.  It's a changing world.  I'm not sure I'd like it at all.  But it's hard to date someone with kids from a previous relationship for sure!  
134578 tn?1642048000
Are 'her children' also his children? If so, you don't have much ground to stand on if she needs help housing them. Even without that, kids without housing is a tragedy and I'd try to drum up some sympathy. If she is his ex, she is his ex. Do you wonder if she is really his ex or he's sneaking around? That can happen if she lives there or not.
Helpful - 0
No they arent his kids! I do feel bad for her and I trust him fully and her just not sure how my reaction should be. I understand she needs help and hes the last one she has. I'd help her too if she ever asked me or anything like that! She should be moving out in like 2-3 days
Are you 15 or is that just the number assigned to your avatar name? If you're 15, I'd let it go, look the other way, and assume she will be gone in 2-3 days. You'd look like a baby if you did anything else. If you're 25 or 35 and are thinking of marrying this guy, have a heart-to-heart with him about your empathy for her in her position, and tell him she can't stay there more than the assumed 2-3 days. Then be around a lot, with the clear expectation that he will be paying all his attention to you.
The 15 is just a number, and honestly I'm just still scared that i could end up pished out and she is working her way back in but im just gonna let it go and blow over and see what happens, i mean that's all i can really do isnt it? How would you feel? Like whats your thoughts?
Yes, that's all you can do. If he's going to get back with her, he's not the guy for you.

How long have you been together?

I think that he's nice for offering to let them stay with him for a couple of days. How would you feel about him if he let her and her kids be on the streets instead? That would also say a lot about him. I mean, I might be able to tell her to find a friend, but I can't imagine letting kids do that.

My ex-bf has kids. Though they are grown now and on their own, in this situation, I'd let them stay with me for a few days. I'd limit it to a few days, though, for my ex, because he has a history of taking advantage of people, but the kids could stay as long as they needed. :)

Are you going to be there with him? If you are, be nice. Don't be overly affectionate, just be normal.

What's going to happen will happen. If he loves you and wants you, that won't change with his ex around for a few days. If he doesn't, you'll figure it out, and while it may hurt, you'll be free to find a guy who is better for you.
I let it all ride out and i completely understand him helping her. I would probably do it to but I was kinda lost and confused glad I let it all ride out honestly. And im greatful for a guy that does care enough to open his door again to someone that thinks he's a bad guy and does no right!! But we're all good and it all worked out in the end! Still happy as ever! Thanks guys!!
I'm glad she so clearly signalled that she didn't want him any more, that probably helped a lot. And you two rode out something that could have been hard, that's good in a relationship! You sound like you have a caring and loving man there, who helps friends in need. I feel for the kids, and am glad they had someone to turn to.

Have a great Thanksgiving!
Happy Thanksgiving to you as well!
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