My husband is not excited making love with me as before

[coucou2]

Hi, I have a wonderful husband and two lovely kids, I had been married for 10 years now, we are having nice family with out any problems, but these last few years my husband became very busy with his work
he spends all the day at work, once he is at home , he talks less than before when I ask him he says I am thinking about some ideas related to his job, he eats, he has rest and works on his computer at home when he is not tired.

I do not know if my husband is so busy that is why he does not talk a lot with me and does not care about our sex life.

we do make  love very rarely, once a month or twice a month only, I found that not much for somebody who loves me, and I am embarassed to let him know about my feeling, what I say usually to him that his work took him away from me and his two kids.
my concern is,
1- Do you think that because he is very busy, he gets tired to do sex with me after that, but the problem even in the week-end he loves working at home on his computer all the time instead of spending the time with me or with his children.

2- my other concern , is I am afraid if he has another woman in his life and he gets what he wants from her that is why once he is at home he is not interested in sex with me.

I am confused, because he is a such nice man, I do not want to say that he might be cheating on me I am not sure if this is the case or just because he is busy with his work.

Please help me to solve this problem, I am lost

[Judy246]

Is that inner alarm within you ringing real loud....ding, ding, ding ding.

It is possible to be a workaholic and come home very tired (I've lived it and accused him of worshiping his job), yes, it is.

Is possible to come home too tired for sex....yes, it is

Is it possible for him to want to release some work stress and make love to you more often, yes.

Is it possible he just might be interested in someone else, yes, it's possible.

If he is coming home late, using the excuse of working and has little interest in sex, I would be concern of another woman and if you ask him directly, he might not want to hurt your feelings and deny or not want to talk about the issue.

If he becomes defensive and doesn't want to talk about it or trys to reverse it and make it look like you are the one with the problems.  The possiblity of cheating is great!

(I've lived it....I was the cheater in the relationship, although I have never been married.)...Judy

[Salford66]

If he is at home all weekend then I don't think he is seeing anybodyelse. It is normal  (in most relationships) that sex diminishes, my husband and I only do it 1 or 2 times per month also but we love each other and get on well. I think you just become lazy and Don't make the effort any more which we are also guilty of.


Don't be a mouse and voice your opinion, if you think he isn't spending enough time with you mention it and check the computer ask him what he is doing all day on it.

[Paxiled]

Ask him.  He's your husband.