the post that I just left is meant for you, elbship... (sorry, mami1323)... iam1butterfly
Some people call it "the seven year itch." Others label it as a "mid life crisis." I've even heard it called an "epiphany." But, I wouldn't call it a "cliche," although it's understandable why you would call it that. It's just one of the many unforeseeable complexities of life. Who knows why your husband has changed towards you. No doubt, his "unhappiness" plus a measure of emptiness has a lot to do with it. He has, however, an important bond with his children that has apparently not changed. That bond should be maintained; and, I think that you're doing an exceptionally good job with that. But now, where does that leave you? Unfortunately, in a very tough position as you must face him, for the sake of your children, as though all is well... when it is not! Must he see the children in your home? While this arrangement may serve his convenience; it is at great emotional expense to you. Express your (understandable) feelings of discomfort with him and see if a compromise can be met, such as seeing the children at some neutral location (i.e. the home of a relative.) I think that you need time and some physical distance from him, in order to process the shock and disappointment of this. You might also want to consider getting some counseling. Best wishes to you and your sons.
I think there is nothing much you can do. I'm sorry that he could so easily detach himself from his family. It's sad that instead of communicating his unhappiness to you prior to ending the relationship, he began to pursue a new one with someone else. It is completely selfish and immature. He is obviously unwilling to try and work on your marriage. At that point what else can you do. You can try to have a mature sit down conversation with him to try and get your questions answered, only for your closure, but don't expect him to turn around and tell you that he wants to be with you. If you aren't comfortable with him coming to the house then tell him that you want to work out a regular visitation schedule with him and the kids. It's unfair from him to come and go as he pleases when he was the one who stepped out on his family. But since you do share children together and he still wants to be there for them, that is something that you need to deal with. You have to learn how to separate your feelings for your children. I'm sure it is hard but you have to look at it as the kids getting to spend time with their dad. I wish you the best, that's a very difficult situation to go through, I hope it all works out for you and that your heart heals.