My question

[doni09]

Dear forum,

I hope I am posting my concerns in the right forum. Here is my problem:

Why am I so paranoid in relationships? Like, I always think that my partner is lying at me, even thou he is a great guy and very loyal. I over-analyze things, and find very minor details to fight, and tell him that you are lying at me, ask him the same questions over and over. I have so many trust issues with no reasons. My previous relationship failed because of my paranoia and I don’t want to fail this time.

I constantly think that my boyfriend will find someone better looking and will leave me, even thou he wants me so madly. I am a very good looking person, I also did modeling before, but when people compliment my looks – I immediately start to think they are lying at me.

Any advices pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I am so lost.

Whats wrong with me?????

[imanaddict]

No one can love you until you love yourself. Like the others have said, take a break from relationships and do some soul searching. Maybe talk with a professional and work out some things. There is something there to make you feel that way.

good luck, and I hope you find the happiness you are seeking...

[Judy246]

You are insecure. Something has happened to you in the past with a relationship that has hurt you so deeply that you are letting your past traumatic event carry on into you new relationship and future. In other words, you are becoming self destructive with fears of the unknown. If you don't stop, you will not permit yourself to be happy or find happiness in a relationship. You have to start by accepting yourself as you are and liking yourself and not worry about who thinks what of you.
Good Luck!

[doni09]

Dear  PolkaDot14,

Thanks for your great advices.

No, I've never been called ugly or anything negative that could have possibly make me feel insecure. Like I said, I get complimented all the time about my looks. But, still feel insecure for some reason thinking that my boyfriend will dump me for someone prettier.

[SweetiePie411]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Has there ever been a person in the past who told you that you weren't pretty or lied to you in a relationship? Because usually that can lead people to believe that they aren't pretty or that they are being lied to. It just seems like maybe you need to have a little more self-confidence. If you did modeling I'm sure you are a very beautiful person. And about the whole lying thing, maybe just relax a little and try believing that that is the truth. Just think that if he really truly loves you, he won't lie to you. If he actually is lying, somehow you will find out the truth and then he isn't the guy for you. Maybe you could talk to a therapist. They will really help you and maybe give you some ways to feel better about this whole lying thing. I wish you the best of luck! xx :)

[doni09]

Thanks for ur opinion.

[teko]

This is not a problem with anyone other than you. You seem to not think you are worthy to keep a guy faithful for some reason. It sounds like you have a very low self image of you.

My advice to anyone with such a problem would be to go off men, live by yourself and live life in a way that you will be proud of you.  Then when you like you, you will find the trust issues and all that come with it almost non existant. If you do not like you, why would anyone else? You are a wonderful person, worthy of love and trust and committment and loyalty. But you have to discover that for yourself. Then allow someone to share in it.