Question for the guys

[awaitingpeace80]

My husband has been acting strangely, we have only had sex twice within the past 3 months, and I have tried everything (BTW I am not unattractive). The past two days he hasn't worn his ring and he claims that he lost his wallet but mysteriously found it (Quickly). This is not the first time he has not worn his ring, it is a constant problem that I present to him. I am tired of feeling lonely and unhappy but I am very afraid to be alone. If I were single, I would be the single mother of two boys.

[Helpaguyout7]

If I were you, I would just give him some space. He sounds like he is just depressed and when depressed, sex and usual activities he enjoys doing is the last thing on his mind. Don't badger him, don't nag him, just carefully, with a lot of care to your voice ask him what is wrong. Does he have a stressful job? Is money tight? Does he have anxiety? If so, all these things lead to depression, some very severe. Just be careful about how you approach him and know that you two were married for a reason and that your love is strong. Everyone has bumps in their marriage but once you get through them, it's a lot smoother and you usually won't take that certain bumpy road again because, there will be others. Hope this helps :)

[cheshchesh819]

You sound like you have the worst fears going around in your head and understandably,i hope this is not the case but he is your husband and you need to sit him down and ask him some questions it could just be that he is depressed,but i would still have to know where i stood,you dont need to feel lonely or afraid when you are in a marriage,i hope it all works out for you.

[lovemykids465]

Ugh. I know this is for guys sorry I am not one but If I am reading this right you have some suspicions here . Before they get the best of you try to sit and talk with him. Come right out and ask him. Then take it from there.

[thehitman357]

Well, you really have not said too much that leads to him having an affair.  I don't know anything about his sexual drive or lack of sexual drive.  Does he just always have a low sexual drive? Some men just don't like wearing wedding rings so this is not a big red flag.  About the wallet. What about it? Maybe he did loss it and found it.  Need to give us more besides this.

[awaitingpeace80]

Sorry it took me so long to respond but I should have asked are these signs that he may be cheating or not interested in me intimately. I have sat down and talked to him about our lack of intimacy and him not wearing his wedding band and the conversation goes no where. I do give him his space, so much that we NEVER go to bed @ the same time. When I ask if he's depressed or if something is bothering him, he denies that anything is wrong. If there is something wrong with him, time will reveal it. I just wanted to get a males perspective that's all.

[awaitingpeace80]

Oh thanks for your responses guys :-)

[ricky_id]

Maybe it's time to go to reconnaisance.

[brice1967]

You've got every reason and right to want to know what is going on with your husband.  This is your relationship/marriage, and since you are involved... what he is doing becomes your business.

Like some above, I'd suggest that you have a sit down, heart-to-heart talk regarding the situation and let him know how your feeling and what your feelings are.  If this is indeed depression, therapy can and will help.  (I am currently in therapy for my depression disorder, and I have no idea where I'd be now without it.)  

For some dumb reason, men are a bit reluctant to go to therapy.  I certainly was.  "A big strong guy like me doesn't need a nut cracker to weed out my problems.... I'll handle this myself!"  I guess it is a gender specific stereo-type thing, but the fact of the matter is, until we know what it is that is causing the depression, we cannot properly address the situation.

Let him know that you love him, that you are deeply, and you are concerned with whats happening.  Let him know exactly how you feel and suggest all kinds of help.  A great place to start is with your primary care physician, since there is already a relationship established there.

If that doesn't work, there are other avenues for you to go down.... but I still suggest you start off slow and low, and then ramp it up if necessary.

Let us know how it is going!