Hot sex with a women and my husband? Y/N....

[Magdelenna]

My hubby of 10 years has always loved the female gender. He now would like me to participate in a threesome. He is looking for an opportunity to hook us up with a gorgeous girl and have some really hot (safe) sex as a couple. I have mixed feeling about this. I have only been with my husband and one other man in the last 10 years (yea, I cheated on him.) My husband wants me to have sex with a girl while he has sex with both of us Is this strange to anyone else? I am kinda a "go with it" girl but I don't want to do something I will regret later. I am not sure if he is manipulating me into this or not by telling me constantly how great it would be. It is foremost on his mind. I will say this, I am curios now. What would it be like to kiss, caress and be caressed by another women?  Some of my girlfriends are lesbians and we get along great. They tell me it is way better to be with another women then being with a man. Not so sure about that but I do really want to know if this would be a bad move for me or not. Funny thing is we have come mighty close to doing this in the past but I have been kinda chicken or the girl is more into me then him. Lol. Any way I look at it i am going to have to answer him. He is already looking for an opportunity because I just said if it happens it happens. Help.

[Ashelen]

Personally? no way. Not because it wouldn't be fun - if that's your thing, sure it would be, but because you'd be ruining the intimacy of your bed....I mean, all religious or monogamous arguments aside, you're complicating what should be a very basic act between the two of you.

It's great to spice up the sex life, but I think any time a couple brings someone outside in, they are setting up a recipe for disaster....because how short of a step from "the three of us together" to "the two of them together" - 'but we did it together, why is it wrong if we do it by ourselves?' ...you know what I mean?

anyway...you guys seem to be having enough little troubles without making one more, so I'd say no. no way. But...if it's your thing and you're ready to handle what could be a sh*t storm if things get complicated....it's your life. But I would say a big fat emphatic NO. monogamy takes work...it would be easy to get bored in a relationship and avoid the issue of cheating by convincing your partner to bring someone outside in - and that works for some people - but it takes a certain relationship dynamic for that. do you have it? that's your question.

[specialmom]

Agree with Ashelen.  If you are feeling insecure and like your man has a wandering eye . . . seeing him get completely turned on with another female will not make you feel any better.  It also doesn't solidify that as a married couple, you have something special and different that you save for each other.

Perhaps other couples could weather that . . .but I think you are in some jeapardy.  I almost feel like you are trying to hold on or keep him interested  a bit too hard.  

I know a woman that did this with her husband with similar circumstances as what you've described to us.  They ended their marriage.  It was confirmation to her that her husband wanted freedom to be with other women.  She could never get the visual out of her mind.  And I'll tell you, she thought she was okay with it.  Until they actually did it.  It was much better as a fantasy than a reality.  Some couples can handle it but I think if you have any doubts where your man stands----------  this could push things over the edge for you.

And that he is pushing for it--------  hon, I'm worried.  

And I think you are just going with anything at this point maybe because you feel he is slipping away a little???  I hope not.  

Curiousity is fine.  If that was all it is that would be different.  But I think there is more to it for you than that.  Ugh.  I say, tell him no.  Just my opinion.  goodluck

[kazakage]

I'd say go for it.....
But its soley up to you..
Go to askmen.com and look up 3somes...

Then i'd say no.. because of the way one of you could be hurt emotionally

[Vance2335]

As a man yes I would want that for my wife and I to do, I should actually say I would want my girlfriend (before I was married) to do that. But now being married not something I want to put her through. Most women know if they want to do it or they don't.

If he is unwilling to give you oral sex then why do this for him?

[Vance2335]

Or why not say yes but you want a 3-some with another guy. I'm sure he would not go for that...ha ha.

[Magdelenna]

I did forget to mention... And this one goes with the obvious. My hubby has been into porn. Not trashy porn but classy stuff and clean porn. He likes X Art stuff. Still very vivid for those who might think Red Shoe Diaries is naughty. (before some of your time.) And I am kind of ashamed to admit this because I may sound arrogant, but I am a lot like the beautiful women in my family, not jealous of my husband but a bit too overly confident within myself. I realize you do not have to be a super model to be beautiful. You can carry yourself like a lady and a queen with or without worshipers.  That is one thing I have had to learn on my own. I am not insecure in the slightest. A bit too confident and careless. So much so that it is like I am standing outside of my body thinking, "who is this person, I want to be just like her". So the bedroom sharing scene may actually be a good reality check for myself. My hubby has already cheated on me. I was not surprised that and not angry or jealous. In fact, I told him not to feel bad because if it happens again it would be totally normal. He has opened a "door" and now he sees how easy it is to hook up. Anywhere anytime . In and Out. He says he realizes this too but vows not to do it again. I am not worried about it, I just hope he doesn't keep kicking himself for doing what he did. He felt pretty ashamed. I really do not count on much in this relationship. @  Vance2335: I have had great oral sex from the guy I cheated on my husband with but no climax. Just fun for a bit. I am sexually curious because I have only been with one other man. A women would be different.
@ kazakage: Girls have wild fantasies too. If I could find a little girl on girl action and have no strings attached, I may do it. @ specialmom: You have a lot of really great advise and I think you made a good point when you said I am trying to hold on or keep him interested  a bit too hard. I will take that into consideration. And @  Ashelen: You have a few really good points too that I will also consider. Especially "It's great to spice up the sex life, but I think any time a couple brings someone outside in, they are setting up a recipe for disaster....because how short of a step from "the three of us together" to "the two of them together" - 'but we did it together, why is it wrong if we do it by ourselves?' ...you know what I mean? " Thank you all so much. I have a lot to consider.

[sweetpea03]

Personally, I would never bring in a 3rd party into my relationship. It just adds more complications and unnecessary drama. If you are having doubts about it, even with it being slight doubts, I would say absolutely do not do it. I can't imagine watching my man get turned on by another woman that is physically there with us. That would cause many problems and with having infidelity in your past, may cause a lot of hurt and resentment.

[kazakage]

Here is one thing that gets me..... Where do i find a female like you... smh.. man... some guys are lucky.. lmao..

naw but if it works out for you. no strings atteched then go for it!! you only live once..

[RainLover71]

Don,t do it.Two,s company three,s a crowd.Be intimate with each other,your a good looking couple and exclusive,don,t let a third wheel spoil the party.