Should I stay or Leave?

[amieb579]

I am a 28 y/o first time mom going through a really hard time in my relationship-after my baby was born…and I don't know if I should stay or go, but I am scared of being a single mom. Before having my baby I had a good career, lived in my own apartment and was very independent. I have been with my boyfriend for over five years off and on, and we really had only touched the subject of kids but never really talked about the details of who would stay home, where we would life ect...
My baby girl was a beautiful surprise! However, I now am feeling a lot of resentment that I gave up a career and now have become dependent on a man. To make matters worse he isn't very nice to me, he feels that I am too emotional but really he is very insensitive, making comments about my weight, messaging women online in inappropriate ways and really not wanting to connect with me in ANY way, (we have not had sex since I gave birth). He works all day and then comes home late goes to gym, eats and goes to sleep- we really don’t have any couple time and he doesn’t seem to mind. Since now he is now paying my bills he feels the need to criticize what I have done with my money before my baby- when in fact he is in more debt than I am. I love being with my baby girl but it's like you are everyone's maid, and it does hurt my pride to have to ask for money like I am a child.  To complicate things we are living with my parents which means little to no privacy. Our arguments are pretty bad and have been happening more often. I feel horrible like I am having to choose between being a good mother and being a happy women…..I feel like if I leave I will be breaking up a father daughter relationship ( he is a great father) but if I stay I will be unhappy and my daughter will grow up seeing this. I do love him but I really don’t know if our personalities work.

I am sorry this is so long but I also want to include one major aspect of my problem…..I come from a household where all I saw was fighting and a very unhappy mother. Even at the age of six I always understood that my parents were not happy together and that they were sticking it out for the kids, these really made things worse! I used to always think “when I grow up if I have a marriage like my parents I would just get a divorce”….but it turns out that it’s easier said than done. Don't know what I should do????

[cheshchesh819]

I agree you sound really depressed about your lifestyle,could you be suffering a bit of post natal depression,have a chat with your doctor,and when you feel ready there is loads of help out there for mums who want to work.

[AnnieBrooke]

I'd see if you can get your great career back.  Ask for some temporary help with child care from your mom or your boyfriend (if he's available) and get back to work, and then arrange child care with one of the professional outfits.  If you are both working and feeling like autonomous human beings, you will probably be better with each other and with your child also.