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What choice do I have when I have no choice!?
I'm in my 10th yr of marriage. For the last 2 years my husband's checked out of the marriage more than before as in he will not support me financially,buy anything I may need even if for our home. I don't get pocket change! It's so bad this on top of all the other bull I put up with that I'm full of anger and hate for him he's like a child I can't talk about anything at all with him. He's become so mean and selfish. Says the most awful things! My situation is that I have no options, sick of hearing ppl say change it as if I can. I can't get a ride down the street much less anywhere I'd need to go to get any type of help. I've got no money at all. No friends,family to help me out. Nowhere to go no options at all! What can I do!?
Also, the way you describe the situation, you are trapped in your home. But do you have a phone? and obviously you have a computer -- as specialmom recommended, call a big church and ask for a ride to the service, or call a domestic-violence hotline, or even call the police and ask for a ride to a women's shelter.
Sweetheart, the thing about guys like your husband who try to control others, is that the first thing they control is your mind. Then they have you where they want you. You say "I have no choice," but you do have the option to walk out to a church and ask for help. Please try. If nothing else, call a violence-against-women hotline and someone might even come for you.
Or really better yet, look up megachurches in your area and walk into one tomorrow morning, and ask for help. I need help - I need a place to live for a few months while I look for a job and seek a divorce. They'll help you.
So I was watching news video of the immigrants coming in to our south border. Some of them walked from Guatemala with everything they own on their backs.
You're seeing walls, Echoe. Put on good walking shoes and walk out, and get to a legal aid service and ask for help with the divorce. Do you not have access to the checkbook? Find the checkbook, and walk out of there.
When you say you have no "choice", in fact, you have no "easy choice".
You're seeing walls, Echoe. Put on good walking shoes and walk out, and get to a legal aid service and ask for help with the divorce. Do you not have access to the checkbook? Find the checkbook, and walk out of there.
When you say you have no "choice", in fact, you have no "easy choice".
COMMUNITY LEADER
Ahh, honey, so sorry to hear this. It's hard to feel trapped. Okay, here is something to think about. Really, I mean this, things can ebb and flow. You can hate one day and then things can feel better a week later. If you don't dwell on it. That's the key. Switch your focus.
If you can not leave, and I do understand, what other ways can you improve things in your life? That's a good question about driving. Are you able to get out? Can you find places to meet others just for companionship and friendship? Here are options, library. free and they often have book clubs and classes. Support groups of any sort run in your community or church. Church in general have study groups, social groups, etc. Volunteering at animal shelters (sounds dumb but can be very fulfilling). Taking up a hobby like gardening. Tending to a small patch of earth can lift spirits. Exercising. For this, all you need is a pair of tennis shoes and the ability to walk.
Those are some ideas. Ways to create a life around where you are.
I also had a friend who was trapped. She put away 10 dollars, 15, 20 at a time from her grocery money. Kept it in an envelope. Had a lump sum when she needed it.
Husband sounds abusive. How can he not provide you with anything? So, he pays bills only? What proceeded this? Another good question by domino, do you work? If not, I would absolutely take out a student loan and do online schooling, job training, etc. I'd go clean houses of office buildings. I'd increase my source of income. Is that an option?
If you can not leave, and I do understand, what other ways can you improve things in your life? That's a good question about driving. Are you able to get out? Can you find places to meet others just for companionship and friendship? Here are options, library. free and they often have book clubs and classes. Support groups of any sort run in your community or church. Church in general have study groups, social groups, etc. Volunteering at animal shelters (sounds dumb but can be very fulfilling). Taking up a hobby like gardening. Tending to a small patch of earth can lift spirits. Exercising. For this, all you need is a pair of tennis shoes and the ability to walk.
Those are some ideas. Ways to create a life around where you are.
I also had a friend who was trapped. She put away 10 dollars, 15, 20 at a time from her grocery money. Kept it in an envelope. Had a lump sum when she needed it.
Husband sounds abusive. How can he not provide you with anything? So, he pays bills only? What proceeded this? Another good question by domino, do you work? If not, I would absolutely take out a student loan and do online schooling, job training, etc. I'd go clean houses of office buildings. I'd increase my source of income. Is that an option?
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I saw your other post that you have no car, can't walk and have no job. Tell us more so we can help think of 'some' kind of options for you.
Can you think back to when this all changed and why? I take it you dont have a job either or drive?
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