I've had a friend for a few years now who seemed very bubbly, fun, and kind in the beginning. She is 36, a few years older than me, and we had the same interests in music, movies, shopping, food, etc. We have been hanging out almost every other week for the past year now, and we go to a karoake bar to just chill /sing, etc. This year especially, things are just weird. She is a kind person at heart, I know this, BUT , when we are out, she'll yell at guys VERY loudly, and embarrass me by saying, 'Grab his ***!' so that they guy can hear, or say, "She thinks you're hot".. and I just don't like it anymore.. I've told her this in a joking way, but she always responds, "oh it's just fun.." She was adopted at the age of 3, and I've grown to learn she was abused right before, by her then foster father. She can become extremely loud when we are out, talks All about herself, and whenever I've talked about health issues or my sister, anything that isn't 'fun' or about her, she literally cuts me off , sometimes even has said, "yeah, look at this.. I just didn't want to hear that,/talk about that".. when she did this the first time, I was astonished, and sad. I didnt' even call her on that o.O I should have. She once said, when her sister was having surgery for her cancer, "I know she has cancer, and surgery, but it Has to be on my birthday weekend??" I couldn't even believe it..
I rarely talk about myself to her, and she wants a LOT of attention when out. She's even said, "Oh let's see if so and so guy looks at us" when we are in the car, etc... It is getting to be a bit draining. She will pound the table at karaoke if I don't IMMEDIATELY look at her, when she's talking, (because i didn't even HEAR her) .. it can get very loud. She'll say, "Heyyyyy!! Listen to meeee" in a whiny voice, as if it is fun.. but it is becoming a lot of the time she does this now. I'll respond, "I didn't Hear you, sorry" and then she'll just go on and on.
I do enjoy her company at times, she can be easy go lucky/fun, BUT I just don't know if I should continue to hang out; she'll text me every week with commands; Call me NOW. or, she'll say to my sis every week, Have sis call me now.. Never as with my other friends, like, 'give me a call WHEN you can.." or , talk to u soon, etc. I am writing because I am a people pleaser to the core, and I dont' ever like to 'write' soemone off in my life, but it is just too much..She did help me a lot, when i was extremely depressed and my heart ripped out after a guy I loved and talked to online for a year, made plans with, went with another woman this spring , one Month after telling me he was in love with me..she was very helpful picking me up with that, and seeing the red flags i had not clearly seen (as did my medhelp friends THANK you).. but that is the only thing she has ever really listened to me on.
However, with her behavior lately, I don't know whether to hang out once in a great while, or just tell her?? She is VERY sensitive if you even HINT that you didnt' like a behavior..She 'll make up lies and say, I haven't seen you for 3 months, you SAID you were going to blah blah... when i NEVER said it at all...she has done that a few times now as well. How do you go about a friendship where the person 'can' be fun and a friend , but becoming draining or almost stalkerish too? (she recently wrote, we are doing New Year's Eve, and if u cancel fine, but then I'll stalk you for my birthday in Feb. )..o.O I would Like to keep 'some' ties, but what would others do?? would you just break it off, or say something light in an email, or ...?? Not sure right now, and it is hard each week now ..any tips would be very welcome. Thank you .