Aa
affair
I have been in an affair with a co worker for two months now. I have been married for six years and have two children. The man I have been having an affair with is also married and has one child. We have been friends for 9 years. We work very closly together everyday. We have had sex three times and it is just sex. He has a cabin down the road from where I live and that is where we meet, mostly after work. It is always just been a bump and run if you know what I mean. He recently told me that he feels weird about the whole bump and run thing. He says we only talk for a couple of minutes before things get all heated up and only talk a couple minutes afterwords. He does not like that. He thinks we should cool it for a while and only have sex if we go out for drinks with co-workers or something to that affect. I was really enjoying him and he was enjoying me. I don't know why he has such a change of heart. Last week he could talk enough to me saying how he loves doing this and then this week he totally changed. It is an awful thing we did I know. I don't even feel any guilt with my husband and I know that makes me a bad person. It seem that I can't stop thinking about my co-worker. He doesn't want to end things he just wants to keep the door open just incase we want to do it again. I really don't like that situation. I don't know what to do. I am very confused. I can tell he is trying to keep his distance from me at work and it really hurts. I know I should back off as well but it is so hard because I work directly with him everyday. I don't know how to get him off my mind. I have a great marriage with my husband and I would never leave him nor would I ever tell him about the affair. I think I needed to feel wanted by another man. What should I do?
You were obviously not happy with your marriage and you aren't a reliable person if you did that to your husband. How would you feel if your husband cheating on you with his co-worker? I find this as a very disrespectful thing. I think some how you should get over your co-worker and care more about your husband, the one you fell in love with and married. He isn't cheating on you and obviously loves you too much to do that to you.
Take his advice... and cool it.
Affairs typically move in complicated directions.
They tend to have an "other worldliness" to them. And, it's easy to get caught up in the excitement of attention and deception. I suggest that you both discuss, in great depth, what you both want and need; and, consider the consequences involved in obtaining those wants and needs from each other.
Affairs typically move in complicated directions.
They tend to have an "other worldliness" to them. And, it's easy to get caught up in the excitement of attention and deception. I suggest that you both discuss, in great depth, what you both want and need; and, consider the consequences involved in obtaining those wants and needs from each other.
what about the spouses? perhaps he's feeling guilty for stepping out on his wife. betraying her trust. and being an all around scumbag. perhaps whatever issues he's having with his wife he's working out and doesn't want to jeapordize his marriage anymore.
Wow, where should I begin. As PolkaDot said, how could you say that you have a great marriage if you are cheating on your husband. Obviously it wasn't that great or the thought wouldn't of even entered your mind. How selfish of you, do you even think of your children, of this man's children of the innocent parties involved that don't deserve to feel the hurt and pain that this sort of betrayal can bring about. This man, even though he shouldn't of done what he is feeling guilt and doesn't want to continue. I think you need to take a step back and think about what you're doing. Think of how you would feel if your husband was having an affair behind your back. The lives that would be damaged if this affair came out in the open. You're playing with fire here. If I were you, I would stay away from this man. Perhaps he realizes his marriage is worth more to him than you are. I feel so sad for the spouses and children in this situation.
I agree with the all the above. First of all if you have a great marriage like you claim you have you would've never have cheated on your husband. I feel really bad the spouses and children in this situation. It is very selfish of You & him to not think of anybody else while going out and having an affair. I hate the fact that people don't take marriage vows seriously now a days. You need back off this man. Oh and what goes around comes back around, and you will most definately get yours! And now you feel all sad becuase hes keeping his distance from you at work, well thats what you get!!!
I agree, back off the affair. Either he is feeling guilty for cheating on his wife, or he really doesn't want to do this with you anymore. Where do you see this going anyway? Do you want to leave your spouse for him? And if that ever happened, do you think your relationship with your co-worker is going to be all sunshine and roses? You are letting him treat you like a door mat. Several "bump and run" proves just that. And now he wants to end it for a bit, but leave the door open for more later? He wants you when it's convenient for HIM. This is all obviously wrong on so many levels. You both have children to think about. How would they feel if they found out mommy was unfaithful to their father? Cheating is one of the most selfish things a spouse can do. It affects not only you and your family, but his as well. Plus it destroys any self respect you had for yourself and living with the guilt is torture (should you have any later). Also, you both could be at risk for losing your jobs if anyone found out. And with this economy, NOT GOOD!
You both have a LOT to lose and over a piece of A$$? If there is something you are missing from your marriage, either leave or seek the help of a therapist if it is still salvagable.
Good luck!
You both have a LOT to lose and over a piece of A$$? If there is something you are missing from your marriage, either leave or seek the help of a therapist if it is still salvagable.
Good luck!
Good grief, you're asking what you should do?
I just have a hard time wrapping my mind around how you found any happiness or pleasure in literally using each other and being used for nothing more than "bump" buddies while you claim at the same time that you have a great marriage and would never leave your husband.
You "need to feel wanted by another man?" It seems more like you need to feel wanted as a sex object in this case.
That makes absolutely no sense and just shows your lack of self-respect. Not to mention the lack of respect for that man (whom you're using as your sex object), respect for his marriage, wife, and child, and respect for your own husband, marriage and children.
Affairs never end good, or succeed for that matter. People always get hurt, and the ones who get hurt the worst are the families involved who never deserved it.
End one--the affair or your marriage. That's what you should do. Get help for your marriage that you claim is so wonderful, that you would never leave, before your husband might rightfully leave you. Or just leave your marriage so you can live a pleasurable life as a sex object whenever and however you want, so you can "feel wanted" by as many men as you can handle.
I just have a hard time wrapping my mind around how you found any happiness or pleasure in literally using each other and being used for nothing more than "bump" buddies while you claim at the same time that you have a great marriage and would never leave your husband.
You "need to feel wanted by another man?" It seems more like you need to feel wanted as a sex object in this case.
That makes absolutely no sense and just shows your lack of self-respect. Not to mention the lack of respect for that man (whom you're using as your sex object), respect for his marriage, wife, and child, and respect for your own husband, marriage and children.
Affairs never end good, or succeed for that matter. People always get hurt, and the ones who get hurt the worst are the families involved who never deserved it.
End one--the affair or your marriage. That's what you should do. Get help for your marriage that you claim is so wonderful, that you would never leave, before your husband might rightfully leave you. Or just leave your marriage so you can live a pleasurable life as a sex object whenever and however you want, so you can "feel wanted" by as many men as you can handle.
So now you know. Just sex between two people is never just sex, is it? Shame on you for betraying youself, your hubby and your children by breaking your oath to them so you could feel wanted for a while by forbidden fruit. Looks like the forbidden fruit bit back! Good luck with that....
Your poor husband and his poor wife! What an awful thing to put them through! I'm sorry but I have absolutely no sympathy for you or the man you are having an affair with. You both made a vow to your spouses and shame of you both for breaking them! Cool it? Both of those people and your children deserve better! Either you call it off completely and get to marriage counseling or you divorce your spouses. Those are your only 2 options, in my opinion. Sure everyone wants to feel wanted once in a while but most married people (hopefully) have sense enough to talk to their spouses rather than go off and have a fling with the first Tom, D ick and Harry that pays any attention to them.
Wow. How could you not feel guilty for this?????? Why did you get married if you just want to be someones bootycall. Also, what, your husband DOESN'T want you? You need to tell your husband about your mistakes, and just leave him. One mistake is possible to forgive, but several???? I don't get why you want this man more than your husband. You have a husband!!! You know how many people are dying to get married??? Its seems that all these good men are wasted on lying, and disrespectful people. You should leave this man alone. Stop taking men from other women. What a skanky thing to do. You have your own man. Stick with him. If you need to feel wanted by other men, you must have some sort of emotional problem. Fix the problem and move on from both your husband and this stupid man. If you want to save your marriage, dump the loser (who is you guys ended up together would cheat on you as well) and role play with your husband. Pretend he is a different man and meet him at a bar or some inconpicuous place and go to a hotel and get naughty....he is your husband, I am not sure you are aware of this but he is the person you CAN get naughty with.
I agree with all the above. Your very wrong for doing that to your husband and your kids. You should thank y6our lucky stars that you have a husband and hes there suporting you and and your kids and hasent left you likemost husbands do. And there you are ruining a good thing you should be ashamed of yourself and forget that guy and n=be gratefull you have a husband who is there for you and your family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't think you do know how awful what you did is. You don't even feel guilty about it. You do not have a good marriage if you just go around cheating on your husband and do not even feel remorse about it. Obviously this guy is starting to feel guilty and you need to back the heck off! I'm so sick of people like you. It is disturbing how many cheaters there are out there and it is all so childish!!
You should've been an adult and worked on whatever problems were in you're marriage instead of just going to another man! And if you felt the need to go to another man then there ARE problems in your marriage. I feel horrible for your husband and horrible for that man's wife, and i hope karma comes back and kicks you both in the a$$!
Oh and if you "need to feel wanted by another man" then divorce your husband and go stand on the street corner. Then you can get all the wanting you need.
That's all I have to say about that.
You should've been an adult and worked on whatever problems were in you're marriage instead of just going to another man! And if you felt the need to go to another man then there ARE problems in your marriage. I feel horrible for your husband and horrible for that man's wife, and i hope karma comes back and kicks you both in the a$$!
Oh and if you "need to feel wanted by another man" then divorce your husband and go stand on the street corner. Then you can get all the wanting you need.
That's all I have to say about that.
lol well obvisously she didnt like anyones answers cause she has no comment... i agree with everyone...is there really no FAITHFUL people left in this world ....besides me??....lol jk
You have disrespected your place of employment, your husband, your children, your co-workers wife, your co-worker, yourself and you are committing adultery. Sooner of later something is going to give and be very careful...your playing with fire and the person that is going to get burn is you. You have a conscience and I don't know how you can sleep at night, but I promise you, it's going to catchup to you and when it does, remember your family and the sacred vows "til death do us part".
Hello, I'm not exactly the oldest of people, i'm only 13, but i think you should speak out now to your family. My father bought us to wales when i was 3 years old, and ever since he bought his vetinary practive there has always been a young girl (14 years younger than him) that has worked there. My dad has owned the surgery now for about 10 years, and i have recently found out ( even though my parents split up two years ago) that he has been having an affair with his headnurse, yet he still denies it. His girlfriend is now pregnant and expecting a child in two weeks. Knowing that this girl has worked for my dad for so long, makes me wonder how long it was going on for before they came out about there relationship. It just makes me disrespect my father even more than i did before. Therefore, i really think you should confront your children and husband.
Although i am only 13, i'm quite mature for my age, and speak to alot of people who work/worked for my dad, the majority of them say they find it awkward to work around both my father and his girlfriend. I don't know if this will be the same for you as you don't seem so much in the same position.
Message me if you like :) xx
Although i am only 13, i'm quite mature for my age, and speak to alot of people who work/worked for my dad, the majority of them say they find it awkward to work around both my father and his girlfriend. I don't know if this will be the same for you as you don't seem so much in the same position.
Message me if you like :) xx
First of all end it.
You want romance and passion... the bump and run if you will.
This man may be married but he is wanting a relationship. Much as men are pictured as animals, meaningless sex is actually pretty boring in the long run.
Even if I personally approved of open relationships which niether of you apparently have, and I think are nuts. Your goals are different and you are both trying to meet differnt needs that niether of you feel are being met @ home.
Fix things at home before you go around making more incomplete relationships!
You want romance and passion... the bump and run if you will.
This man may be married but he is wanting a relationship. Much as men are pictured as animals, meaningless sex is actually pretty boring in the long run.
Even if I personally approved of open relationships which niether of you apparently have, and I think are nuts. Your goals are different and you are both trying to meet differnt needs that niether of you feel are being met @ home.
Fix things at home before you go around making more incomplete relationships!
Affair only serve one purpose...temporary lustful sex and destruction of family. Either get divorce or end your affair now.
All i have to say is that you have no heart no remorse, you have not the slightest idea how this makes you sound, all i can say that when you take your good times at someone elses expense you will pay in the long run, what goes around comes around, it sounds like maybe you are a little off in the upstairs, or you just cant keep your pants up, you sure would not be my idea of a wife and mother jo
I think this lady is doing the wrong thing, that being said how is what she is doing any worse than the lady who was doing a divorce for a second bathroom, or the mentally ill suicidal lady who everybody supported for custody of her kid.
As foibles go she likes her marriage had an affair but really just needs to figure out how to fix the sex part of her marriage and cut this one dude off from the tap.
I think it's despicable but almost have to wonder if when you guys reading her account it's not being taken a little too personally? After all it's not likely she is cheating with anybody's husband who is online, right?
As foibles go she likes her marriage had an affair but really just needs to figure out how to fix the sex part of her marriage and cut this one dude off from the tap.
I think it's despicable but almost have to wonder if when you guys reading her account it's not being taken a little too personally? After all it's not likely she is cheating with anybody's husband who is online, right?
LOL.. You know me too well Teko! yes that was tongue in cheek, but they are riding her harder than the average psychotic that usually gets peoples blessings on medhelp!
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Relationships Community
How do you keep things safer between the sheets? We explore your options.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
