Propense to Infidelity

[Athenah]

Hello,

I am 29 yrl old and have been married for 11 yrs to a wonderful man (he is 37). He is great, we moved to a new country together, together we have achieved a lot, we have plans for the future, have great jobs, and life couldnt be better, I love him.

A few years ago he moved because of work and we only saw eachother every weekend and sometimes saw eachother every two or three weeks. At the time we had problems, I suggested counseling and he declined, I went to counseling alone but it didnt work. He was just not interested in spending time with me so I found someone who wanted to. I regret that decision and still cant forgive myself.

Although I am happy now I still feel the need to have sex with other man, I think it would add some interest to our lives. I have discussed the issue with him and he doesnt understand, I dont want to make a bad decision again but I find myself bored with the routine of my life (all aspects) and I know he is too.

Is this the sacrifice people make to be able to keep their happy marriages? Is this normal? Does it happen to other people?

Thanks for all your help, I am really concerned about my feelings.

[mami1323]

You want to have sex with other men or another man?  Because if it is other men then you should do as specialmom suggested and be single so you can live your life like a single person.  If you mean this man, well it will only be a matter of time before you get bored having sex with him as well.  That initial passion that you find in a relationship, does fade over time.  Mature couples learn how to rekindle that spark.  People who are in committed relationships and are happy with who they are with, don't feel the need to look elsewhere.  By staying with your husband and expecting him to be ok with you sleeping with someone else, could be considered a bit selfish.  It's like having your cake and eating it to.  It's not fair to your husband.

[specialmom]

I think you should divorce. You got married young and still feel the need to have other men in your life.  You should not put that burden on your husband and give him the opportunity to find someone while still young to have a committed relationship with.  I wish you luck as you look for happiness but don't claim to want to have sex with other men to make your marriage happier.  That makes no sense.  If you feel staying with your husband means sacrificing your contentment, then let him go so that he can be with someone who does not view married life with him as a sacrifice.  It's only fair.