bisexual friend

[beautifuldisaster486]

I have a friend that thinks she may be bisexual. She says she's never been with another female, but she often thinks about it. But she likes men too. Does this make her bisexual even tho she's never acted upon it. Also, she doesnt know how to talk about it with her other friends, and her family. Is there any advice out there for her? She also says that she doesnt know how to find a bisexual friend...she asks for my advice, but I really don't have any to give her..I am 100% straight!!! So I thought I would make a post to see if I get back any positive feedback to pass on to her.

[ohwilly]

My comment came from a friend of mine that had girlfriend that was involved mentally and sexually with another woman. The 3 of them went did a lot  things together. He expressed to me how much he learned about woman's intimacy and sexuality. he really was very happy the communication that took place between the 3 of them. It really seemed like a perfect relationship and it made me a bit envious. I am sorry your husband won't be more opened minded. I think he is a lucky guy.....

            Ohwilly

[Lonelymom]

Not as wonderful as it may seem. Some men find it to be a threat that I like both. Also me and my husband are trying to work things out and he is completely against me being with another woman even if he is involved.  

Plus you get accusations that you are cheating with both!  

Hopefully things work out for your friend.   Lonelymom

[ohwilly]

I think your right she will have to figure it out herself. Her family are icons in the town so  I think this is very difficult. I am really happy for you-it must be wonderful to enjoy both sides. It appears to me today that woman are coming together alot more sexually than ever. Thanks,          Ohwilly

[Lonelymom]

I am with agiesmom, she will have to figure it out herself. I had wanted to be with a woman since I was like 9 years old. It was more taboo then than what it is now so I kept it secret. Kinda like the song says I was drinking one night and got brave and kissed a girl. I reliezed I enjoyed it and wanted to do more. Like I said I enjoy being with men as well and probably just as much.

Maybe she is afraid of what people will think of her if she admits her fantasy? My mom has no idea about me because she would disown me.

[Agiesmom]

I agree with Gear--bi-curious sounds like a good label.  That said, labels with regard to sexual orientation are often subjective--not as cut and dry as many would like it to be.  She's going to have to decide if she needs to label herself and on what she bases that determination.

I hope your friend finds happiness, regardless of her sexual orientation.

[ohwilly]

I apppreciate your comments. I have a girlfriend that tells me she is really not interested in sex. I really can't explain how she thinks but I try to understand. I asked if it is me and, she no and I think she is telling the truth. But one thing that I have noticed for along time. She looks up and down at other woman much more than she looks at men. During sex sometimes I tell her about my fantasy of two woman together. Without a doubt her response is elevated greatly-she really changes and her physical actions are obvious.
What other signs would help me with question.

Thanks, Ohwilly

[Lonelymom]

I had always thought about being with another girl. Always wanted to try it but was scared or couldn't find the right person. I finally got the oppurtunity and can actually say i love being with another woman just as much as I love being with a man.

Tell her it is normal to be curious about it and maybe she should find someone and act on it. She will then find out if she likes it or not.  I do have a good friend that we have had a couple of threesomes and she enjoys it but wouldn't find herself checking out another girl.

[g27gear]

My ex-wife started out straight, was bi-curious, bi-sexual, then gay. Of the generic definitions of each, I would classify your friend as bi-curious.
There are lots of places online for her to find and talk to other women in her situation, for advise and possibly meeting someone. She has to be very careful to stay away from people she doesn't want to assoicate with. Meeting someone you meet online is always a tricky act. She could search out a lesbian club in her area, if clubs are her thing. Again, there's still some creepyness (at least to me) in meeting someone at a club. Their might be gay club that puts out a drag show or something like that. It might be interesting for her to meet people at a place like that. There's a good mix of straight, gay and everything else there. Not really my scene, but as my ex was transitioning, that's what she did (I was deployed overseas at the time...)