Here's a long one.
I started dating someone 9 months ago. Three months in, he started acting up, so I ended it. A month later we met up, and got back together (as it goes). Things were good for a while, but I could tell something was off. Then one of his friends died from a heroin overdose. Then a couple weeks later, another friend died the same way. A few days later he came to me and said "I'm addicted to opiate pain killers, and I don't want to be. I want your help."
So the past 5 or 6 months has been crazy. It started with him telling me. At first I didn't do much. I didn't know much about addiction. At one point he told me he had quit cold turkey, and I believed him for a month. Then he told me he was back on. So after that he reached out to friends, eventually to his family, then to his therapist. He is in rehab now, and has been for about two months. My concern is, how do I know if I was being co-dependent? What if our relationship is toxic to his sobriety? In the first few months, I didn't act much. Mostly out of niativity. After I read up on it though, it changed. I'm blamed myself less for his distance. I felt bad for being angry, but reminded myself my feelings were valid, and that even bough his addiction is probably harder, dating and loving someone isn't easy either. I made sure to never rabble him. When he was faced with a drug test administered by his parents, I refused to give him urine. When he got it from someone else, I low key told his mom about it. I've tried to stay as independent and self-supporting as you can in this situation. But I do care for him, even if this does sound cold, and although the idea of ending our relationship scares the sh*t out of me. But if I've been co-dependent, it's what I need to do.
Have I been holding back his recovery?
*on iPhone, sorry for any typos.