Is it worth breaking up with my boyfriend?

[Timeasmith]

My family wants me to break up with my boyfriend and my boyfriends family thinks he's too involved with me and his dad doesn't really support it but his mom does(they're divorced btw). Anyway I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 20 and we've been together for almost a year. I was kicked out of my house recently  they said either break up with your boyfriend and learn to stay in the house such as drop my friends and live a good life where you get anything you want or get out  and they gave me a couple of months to find a place. My boyfriend goes to a university 40 mins away from where we lived and the school is becoming too expensive so him and his bestfriend are trying to get apartment together. My boyfriend said well since you're kicked out you can just come live with me in my apartment and pay a 3rd of the rent at first his bestfriend was for the plan now he's like idk ask you dad are you sure it best for your relationship. My boyfriend asks his dad and then his dad is like no because you can't save her she has to figure out her life on her own and you need to stop being her savior and he suggested that we break up. We have no clue what do now is it worth breaking up I love him so much but I hate to see him fight with his family because of me.

[Nighthawk61]

The obvious negative is that you'd be starting off the relationship as a "room mate" paying a full 3rd of the rent. But with what insurance do you have if your relationship goes south? and if it does go south, are you prepared to live on the couch while your x entertains a girl, in the same bed you've been making love to him in? cuz that type of thing happens, when relationships are rushed. His dad knows this. and in the back of his mind, so does the room mate. The room mate is concerned about your relationship,? His dad wants you to develop into an independent woman. Both these people have your best interests at heart. You can't ask for more than that, in male friends. The room mate could have just cared about you for another full share of the rent (without full benefits, like a room of your own). So you've got some intelligent folks trying to help you out. and that's how i suggest you see that as it goes down.  

I cannot attest to the fact that you've found a great relationship with your bf, since we don't have the facts of your relationship. Your parents are willing to lose you, if you don't break up? What is it that must of happened for them to feel this way.?

Making great solid friendship with women in college is more important for you right now. These are the girls that you need to have by your side through college, career, engagement, marriage, motherhood, parent's deaths, illness, old age. You need time to develop these adult relationships. When you're living with a man, other relationships often are left as a second priority. As the should be your first priority, then you have to see this discrepancy alone can come and bite you in the ***. Whose going to care, if this romantic thing that you have going, suddenly ends.? Who are you going to run to then?

Boys come and go. and you need to have a healthy respect for that. now,

SO you've said  nothing of the reasons of why your parents hate your bf... How can we talk to your moving in, if there's a question to his character or yours, that we're not aware of.. And why have you said nothing of your immediate plans other than to worry about where you're going to land when you get homeless? You should be as proud to provide your plans for your educational goals, as you are about his.? We need more information honey, to give honest and helpful opinions about what you should do next.  Know that's not what you wanted to hear. I'm proud of you for attempting to ask for help though.

[Londres70]

What's the problem your family has with your bf?

[AnnieBrooke]

I wouldn't live with my boyfriend at 19, but I would possibly be looking at moving out of the house and living with a girlfriend or a couple of roommates.  If your parents were to see you begin to stand on your own two feet (not leaning on your boyfriend), they might stop with ultimatums and help you through the college phase of your life.  You will change a lot in the next couple or three years, and you need to be able to do it, not to put your light under a basket so you will keep getting along with a boyfriend.

[thatquietgirl]

Definitely wondering what they have against your boyfriend.  That would be a big piece of insight in this situation.

I agree with specialmom, though.  Going to live together in a situation where you're a second roommate isn't the best situation.  It can add a lot of stressors not present when a couple lives together alone.  Maybe very temporarily until you can find someplace on your own, but long term, not a good idea.

Have you had a sit down with your parents regarding your boyfriend?  Maybe there's a misconception that has been formed in their heads that can be cleared up by calm discussion.

My mom HATED my boyfriend for a while there at the beginning.  Our first time having sex, the condom broke, and she came in on me crying because I needed to go get Plan B.  She somehow, despite me saying that was what was wrong, managed to get it in her head that he FORCED me to have sex when that wasn't the case.  She also was self-imposing on me and comparing me to herself at my age, which...we were two very different people at that age.  She was running away from an abusive home situation when she got with her ex-husband.  I was looking at pros and cons and being objective in my relationship (still am).  She still wasn't happy we were having sex (conservative Christian background), but I was 21 and she realized I was more self-aware than she was at my age then and she started backing off and coming to know my boyfriend for who he was rather than who she'd thought he was.  Here we are six years later, and yeah, she has concerns (same ones I have right now), but she and my boyfriend get along well and like each other.  

Clearing things up and having a calm, adult conversation may help your home situation so you don't have to stay away.  Was this boyfriend thing really the only reason they kicked you out?

[specialmom]

Hi there.  Well, a couple of things.  First, why is your family SO against your boyfriend?  

Second, I think you are indeed going to have more difficulties if you live with your boyfriend at this point  It's not easy to be a couple when you are paying a third of the rent and considered another roommate with a third person.  That can get complicated.  I'd MUCH rather see you get strong as an independent woman, going to school and getting a solid education and then pursuing your career, living on your own without needing a man and THEN the two of you make a life together if you are still together as a couple.  Not roommates that are kicked out or have to have someone else there to be a third roommate, etc.  

This is the kind of thing that often ruins a relationship.  I've been married for 15 years and together with my husband for 18 total.  I really don't think it would be a good idea to live together at this point

You don't need to break up though.  I'd figure out your living situation, get yourself set up in life, date him and hopefully mend things with your family as they see they are wrong about things.  That would be my advice to you.

Again, why don't they like your boyfriend?