Healthy Relationships

[Kayannaboo]

Unfortunately, I can never seem to form healthy relationships. I tend to get so caught up and idealize people. Then, whenever I discover that they are not that into me, of course, I fall into a great dark hole. I notice that I do it and I make an attempt to stop. However, I fall back into the same routine. I don't always notice until its pretty bad. Its not just intimate relationships, its friendships too. I behave as if that one person is my sun, stars and moons. If something goes wrong, I call that person. God forbids, if the person is unavailable or busy having a life -- it becomes "I hate everyone" "why don't they love me?" Its so annoying and I feel terrible about myself. I feel terrible for those around me. I don't want to alienate everyone in my life. I just feel helpless.


Anna

[specialmom]

That's a difficult position to be in.  Are there any clinics you can go to?  Sometimes universities offer services at lesser fees or even free for professionals in training.  I would try to self regulate as well.  Knowing you do this----  you have to stop the cycle of getting overly involved.  I'm curious if any professional has ever talked to you about atypical bipolar disorder?  Just curious.  I know you've mentioned difficult times in the past and I think this has damaged your ability to be alone and okay with that as well as forming true relationships.  This really does require a professional to help you through if it is the case.  Just a guess on my part OF COURSE.  See what you can work out to get some help.  good luck

[Kayannaboo]

Yes. I have a psychologist but I  haven't been able to afford it.

[specialmom]

I think introspection is really helpful.  That's part of the battle.  And this is where counseling can really be impactful for changing a person's life.  Would you consider this?