my boyfriend

[cottonball]

i love my boyfriend till death and we've been going out for three years but i dont know if i should give him my V card its been on my mind but i havent told him anything. i love him and ig anything was to happen i know in my heart and my soul i did this for me.......

[imanaddict]

Not a lot of people know this about me, but I lost my V card at your age. It wasn't by choice though...I was raped. When I was your age, I was a WILD child! My dad was a baptist pastor and well, we all know what they say about preacher's kids.  I used to sneak out all the time with friends/neighbors and ran into a boy who was 16 and lived a street over from me. I would sneak out and meet him at all hours of the night. One night I met up with him and we snuck into his room. I trusted him up until he forced himself on me and took the most valuable precious thing (virginity) that I have ever owned. It messed me up in the head and I never reported him to the authorities because I was scared my parents would find out that I was sneaking out. Of course they would have been more upset about the fact that I was raped rather than me sneaking out, but I was young and didn't know any better. To this day, my parents still don't know about it and the only one in my family that does is my sister.

Your situation is different than mine, but the outcome is still the same. You don't wanna get rid of that gift just yet. Save it for someone who you are madly in love with later down the road. Don't be in a hurry to grow up, trust me, it's not all that great being an adult with tons of responsibilities!! I wish I could go back and do those years over so bad! You don't want to live your teenage years with regret like I did.

I wish you the best, and please feel free to come on here anytime for advice if needed.

[Judy246]

V Card, is that what they call it now. Take your time young lady and don't you rush to lose that precious gift called Virginity, which represents innocence and purity.  I also noticed that you are only 14 yrs. and if you make that decision, it can land him in jail, because of you age and I so agree with the ladies above the risk of pregnancy, STD's and jail is something to think about, because if your parents found out, they can put him behind bars if they wish because you are a minor.

I'm glad you are talking to us, who have life experience and maturity, so you hold on to that precious gift until the right time. 14 is way too young to be sexually active, because God forbid you get pregnant, your body is not ready physically for pregnancy and the outcome can be very scary and you don't want to go there. I know young girls that have given up their virginity and the guy left them immediately with fears, etc., so you main goal right now is to make the grade, high school, get into college to earn a degree and get a great job and life has a way of falling into place, but 14 is way too young for you to be sexually active. You are a smart young lady for at least brining it up to our attention and I hope you take our advice to heart....take your time, and don't you hurry to grow old before your time. Hugs, Judy

[cottonball]

thank you very much. and thank you for your advice.

[specialmom]

You know.  I think you are making a wise decision.  Losing your virginity is a decision that stays with you the rest of your life.  So if you are unsure, it is better to wait.  Make sure if you decide to go ahead, you talk to your aunt or mother about birth control and protection.  good luck.  You sound like a smart young lady!

[cottonball]

well i've tlked to my aunt an she told me that she can't make the decision for me she's met him tlked to him well interrogated him lol.... my mom n da met his parents my mom tlks to his mom all d time he cums by me i go by him, i'll w8 bcuz i'm still scared i neva did dat it souns all too painful.

[mami1323]

Oh, I didn't even look at your age.  Specialmom is right.  You are still so young.  That changes a lot and because of that my advice changes also.  You have plenty of time to wait for this.  Although we think that we will be with our first forever, most of the time it doesn't happen that way and so you have to make sure that you are ready to give up something so sacred at such a young age.

[specialmom]

I see that you are only 14.  Is there someone that you can speak to about this at home such as your mother or older sister?  People choose to give up the V card (so to speak) at different ages.  I won't tell you to do this or not to do this--------.  But it is a once in a lifetime decision.  If you decide to go forward, use protection to prevent pregnancy or any type of sexually transmitted disease.  That is always a  must.  Please talk to a trusted adult about this if possible.  goodluck

[mami1323]

Oh virginity...lol.  Sorry, I'm tired and ready to go home.  Three years is a long time and if you feel like you are ready and he's who you want to lose it to than by all means do what you feel is right for you.  If you know there will be no regrets than that's what's important.

[mami1323]

What's a V card?