need someone to talk to

[hmart]

hi all im new here  and  can any1  give me some input what i should do, lived with boyfriend for 18 years  then in march 28 2010 we got married and im so confused on what to do i dont want to be married no more but its lot more complicated then this

[hmart]

no we have no kids and i have not met any1 else when we 1st met he was the best and i really care for him  deeply it wasnt til later in the relationship he would throw stuff in my face but then he would apolize to me  later sayin he shouldnt have said those things and thats how it was for years always sorry hun ,sorry hun.my motivation to marry was in march he asked 2 marry so we did yes i know i should have thought about this more be4 i said yes to him but i do lovehim and care for him so i said yes then we got married and it just got worse from there  he just got more bossy and the name callin was beyond takin, so i have told him i cant deal with that no more. I plan on gettin a job asap.and taking from there.     thank you all for  the help

[specialmom]

Yep, I'm thinking like Rockrose too.  Why 18 years, marriage and NOW you are sick of it?  

I think that you should pursue the job and make some money to contribute to the finances of your household and see if that helps.  You could take some classes if you haven't before to develop a marketable skill.  

I'm wondering . . . shall I ask?  Have you met another man or something?  Oh, I hate to ask that question but wonder just because you have had the same set up with your husband for a very long time and after all those years, thought marriage made sense.  

Any kids for you two?  

[perch101]

I was thinking along the same lines as Rockrose - after being with him for 18 years you would have known what this guy was like? Did you think he would magically change after marriage?
Not trying to be mean or judgemental, just genuinely curious.
And I agree that your marriage sounds miserable, I'd get out.

[RockRose]

hmart.  I don't understand this dynamic.

You lived with this miserable guy for 18 years,  then just now got married,    and now you want to leave.  I'm just curious what your motivation was for marrying him finally after almost two decades of living together, and then after a couple months of marriage you want out.

[hmart]

thank you it means alot

[cheshchesh819]

just leave he sounds like he is a control freak,the sooner you take the first step the sooner you can rebuild you life help is out there,you are too young to be in something that doesnt make you happy.

[hmart]

thank you for your reply.

[hmart]

sry just never done tis before ok im 35yrs old husband is 48 we met  back in 1991 wen i was 16yrs and he was 29 wen we met i was working but then place closed down so i was out of work and got a new job then my boss had 2 let me go because he wood hang there all the time  ( laudromat)so he been supporting me.  so he said u dont need 2 work.   he is a jeolous, strict man just 4 monthsago we got married march 28 2010  im still not workin  i love him  but not sure what kinda love it is? all he does is makes me feel like a nobody and says hurtful  things to me he has been rude 2 me he is very verbally abusive and he says i must do what he says cause he pays 4 everything so i want out of this marrige and my goal is to find a job and have my owe money to buy my owe stuff that way i dont have 2 hear him throwing everything we do in my face day in day out. the names he calls me it just hurts me  i cant take no more.Is that normal for sum one to  act tis way am i crazy or is he i dunno? some advice will greatly appreciated.

[cutipup100]

why dont u explain your whole story...?