i think my marriage is failing

[eel81]

i need help so bad, i feel like my husband doesnt love me. he would rather sit on the computer and play games then sit with me. if i ask a question while he is on there he gets ****** with me, and if i ask him to do little things around the house he gets annoyed with me. i know you are all going to say well he works so he shouldnt havet o do any of that stuff, but i only ask him once in a while and only on weekends when he doesnt have to work. he doesnt like to have conversations with me. and if i get him to sit with me, he has to make jokes and he cant just hold me he has to grab everywhere. so i am at a loss of what to do. i have told him how i feel and it isnt gettin in what should i do

[treazzure007]

if you have told him time and time again, show him.  next time you want him to spend time holding you (and not grabbing/groping) place his hands around you and say "see, i love it when you hold me like this...this is what i love"  shower him w/ sweet words of appreciation and affection when he does help w/ some little thing.  pour romance and affection into everything you can.  see if he gets into the routine and practices giving it back

[eel81]

yep i do forget to pamper myself and think about myself. i hate spending money on me incase the kids or he needs it. the computer wouldnt worry me so much if he just spent some time with me before getting on there. and the whole cleanong thing is what irritates me the most, i dont ask every night as he works, so on weekends i like to get a hand just doing a few things that need to be done. i will talk with him again and i hope he listens and understands i feel trapped and alone. i will start thinking more of myself and doing things for me. thank you for the help

[heatherlynn22]

there is NOTHING wrong with asking him to help around the house. the man is not the king. a marriage is about equality. my dh helps me out all the time. sure i do the "gross" jobs....i.e. toilets, cleaning tubs, changing the poopy diapers but he helps fold laundry, load the dishwasher and cooks dinner. we actually alternate cooking nights.

as far as the computer thing goes....mine was the same way. he'd stay up till 4 or 5 am playing video games or doing only god knows what. so i told him about it. that it bothered me, that it felt as though he was avoiding me and didn't love me or want to sleep with me anymore. we fought. i wouldn't talk to him, kiss him, nothing. i was p!$$ed off. he got the hint. now he's only on throughout the day.

[bluestarmom187]

I agree with teko. Another thing you may try if you are not already..is start pampering yourself. We "as wives" forget sometimes that we still need to try and keep things interesting. We stop wearing are sexy stuff and put on the sweets. The one rule I have found to be true is " Men want what they can not have and then once they get it, it's not a big deal anymore" make him want you by you not being concerned with what he is doing and put all that time into focusing on yourself and what makes you happy.Men are attracted to happy women. He will pick up on this and start wondering what is going on with you. If not...then I would start worry.

Just from my experience. Best wishes

[SixStringer]

I suggest marriage counseling, as his gaming and computer time is a sign that there is something amiss in your marriage.  

[eel81]

sounds good i will give that a shot and see what happens. thank you

[teko]

If he did not love you, he would be out with the guys or prowling around other places, not home. Computer games can be addictive and at the very least, sounds kinda lazy. My old man is the same way. Comes in and sits down like he is on a throne or something and we both put in a long day, not just him! He gets up to pee, eat or take a shower. He is married to the TV. Me, I find other things to do and friends to do them with. Ticks him off too. I told him he is welcome to come along but he never does. I refuse to sit and watch him watch tv. I suggest you do the same. Ignore him, do your own thing, act like he not be there and watch what happens! lol  You will be surprised! Only one rule! You are not allowed to react in any way to anything he may say to tick you off.