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Trying to wrap my head around how i got chlamydia...

So just recently I went in to get my annual "Healthy Women's" exam and they they gave me a pap and everything came back negative EXCEPT I tested positive for chlamydia. Last January I tested negative for everything.

Some Background information: In the past, I've had recurring BV infections.  Ive previously gone to my doctor to get tested for these BV infections, more recently the tests have been coming back negative but initially i had 2 or 3 positive BV tests and had had to take antibiotics.  Whenever I feel I get symptoms of BV (like after my period or after unprotected sex) I used Boric Acid suppositories to fight it, in which it seems to be working.

Anyways, after i get off the phone with the doctor's office the first thing i did was call my boyfriend and confront him about it.  I asked him if he's slept with anyone other than me within the last year and he says he didnt.  He even sent me his results of his last test (which was the beginning of March) while on the phone with him. The results showed that he tested negative for STIs and STDs.

I've never had sex with anyone other than him and we've been together for the last 5 years so Im really trying to figure out how I even got chlamydia.

He goes to school in a different state so the last time he was down here was the beginning of February (he was also down for December before that).  We had sex a few times while he was visiting. So if I was infected, i would think he would've tested positive for chlamydia too??

I can't see my boyfriend cheating on me at this point in the relationship and I cant really say anything to him anyways since his tests all came back negative.
I feel like its very unlikely that my test came out as a false positive as well, but im not sure if maybe my BV symptoms might have been a factor?  I feel like this just makes me look bad and as if I was the one cheating on him.

My mind is everywhere and I dont really know what to think; im second guessing a lot of things now and I was wondering if this has happened to anyone else and what did you do to overcome or deal with the situation?? Any comments or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you <3
1 Responses
207091 tn?1337709493
COMMUNITY LEADER
So my first question to get out of the way - why, if you both are monogamous in a 5 year relationship, is he testing for STDs?

That said, it's possible you had a false positive. Do you know the name of the test that was done? Do you have a copy of the lap report? You should get a copy if you don't.
13 Comments
He plays a sport so he had his annual physical done so I’m assuming they tested him for STIs and STDs.

I’m not sure what exact test was done as I haven’t gotten the results in the mail yet
No, they don't test for STDs in most sports physicals. They might test for HIV or other blood-borne infections if its a contact sport, but I doubt they'd test for STDs, especially at the college level.

Have you talked to him about this?
I didn’t know it wasn’t routine that they don’t check men for STDs unless you specifically ask to be tested. I’ll definitely bring it up to him though.

Aside from that ; I’m still trying to figure out how he came back negative anyways.  The time between sex and his test was about 3 weeks or so.  if he had it and passed it to me (knowingly or unknowingly) then he would have had to be tested, it come back positive, get antibiotics, then get tested again for it to come back negative within those three weeks?  (Even though they say get tested after 3 months)  Unless he was just lucky and happen to not get it in the few times we had sex that visit. Or am I just understanding things wrong?

I guess the only definite way to prove it is to ask him for his tests from he last year?
Oh I'd be definitely asking him for every single test he's had in the past year.

You've been with him for 5 years, correct? There is very, very, very little likelihood that either of you have had it that long and not had symptoms. By now, for you especially, you'd have severe symptoms, and likely been diagnosed with PID.

If he didn't get it, how did you get it? Has he been with anyone else in the past 2 years? You asked him about a year.  Maybe he was with someone 14 months ago? Have you been with anyone since you got together? Please know I'm not judging anyone here - just trying to help you solve this puzzle. :)

I'd still like to know the name of the test you had done. Some are more prone to false positives than others.
Okay i asked him about the testing and he says that his doctor tests him tri-annually. It's a blood test that tests for "everything" he said he got it done back in December and it came out normal except for his creatine levels (something with his muscles) hence why he got it done in December and then got tested again for it in March.  I asked him what kind of blood test it was but he doesn't know what the exact test was called. Im waiting on him for me to send me the results from December.

Within the past two years? Not that I'm aware of.  He was dating another person back when we started dating but that's it.  I have no knowledge of him being with or having sex with someone else.  For me, I havent been with anyone else except him.  He is pretty much my first and only to this day.

As far as the test, i asked for the results more than a week ago and they said they sent them out same day but i still havent received them in the mail so i need to call them again. ugh.

Also, for this exam i didn't realized they tested me for STDs this time around until they called me and told me i was positive.  Did they just automatically test me for STDs bc i had a history of having BV infections? b/c i didn't ask specifically to be tested for STDs.
Okay, he spilled it. He cheated on me and slept with someone else. I appreciate you taking you time and responding to me!
I am sorry that happened. If you work things out, make sure he gets treated or has been treated for chlamydia. If he hasn't, then you'll just end up passing it back and forth.

Just a note - there is no blood test that tests for all STDs. If he goes to a doctor in a developed country (US, Canada, UK, etc.), then they would test him for chlamydia by peeing in a cup. There is a blood test for chlamydia, but it's highly unreliable, and not many places do it. You mention you go to schools in different states, so I'm assuming you're in the US. I'd be VERY surprised if a doctor here did a blood test for chlamydia.

I'd also wonder about his testing, and how much of that was true, and the fact that he not only cheated on you, but did it without protection.

I only point this out so you'll know just how many lies or misinformation this involved, and you'll be fully informed when making a decision about your future relationship with him.

Many doctors will test women annually for STDs with their yearly pap, especially women in your age group, since yours has the highest chlamydia rates. They may have also decided to do it since you had a history of symptoms. You'd have to ask your doctor to know for sure.

I wish you the best! <3
I Agree with what auntiejessi is saying except for the working things out, and here is my Conservative judgemental European thinking, dump his *** and move on. Make sure you treat the clamydia, and get test of cure. All the best to you.
" he not only cheated on you, but did it without protection" and could have given you hiv, which has a 4 week window for a test to be conclusive, so it seems he couldn't have ruled that out before he had sex with you. I would not ever be able to trust anyone AGAIN who cared so little about me to secretly run me through that risk.
This may be s related troubling issue because he may have known he had a disease (and possibly didn't know for sure if there were others too) at the time he had sex with you. It seems from your posts that he never told you to test for any disease including the one he gave you. " The time between sex and his test was about 3 weeks or so.  if he had it and passed it to me (knowingly or unknowingly) then he would have had to be tested, it come back positive, get antibiotics, then get tested again for it to come back negative within those three weeks? "
Actually, not to dump more on you when you probably want us to shut up, but klamidia and ANM said what I really wanted to say, but I was trying to be really nice about it. :)
Yeah so I actually got kinda the full story. This happens back at the end of September. We were having problems (like all couples do) and he confided in a girl that claimed was going through the same thing. She sympathized with him and they both had sex. Turns out the girl was lying: didn’t have a bf and literally just wanted to get in his pants. She was already sleeping around hence why he got chlamydia from her. But he didn’t know he had something until he got tested in December (why he was so reluctant to give me his results from that time).
So we had sex a few times before he got tested, which is how I got it so I’m assuming I’ve had it since beginning of October. So I must’ve had it for almost 7 months so I’m kinda worried if that would cause any “long term” effects... I just got an ultrasound done to see if anything is abnormal but don’t get the results until Monday so hopefully everything comes back normal?

Anyways, I appreciate the advice anyways,  especially since I don’t know the male side of how they get tested for things. Me posting in here and getting advice ultimately got me the truth from him. this whole couple weeks have been a roller coaster for me. Ironically, his birthday is tomorrow and I’m going to talk to him about everything, mostly for closure. Don’t know what will happen but things are looking pretty bleak anyways. Cuz if he cheated that one time, I’m thinking he’s probably done it multiple times..
" getting advice ultimately got me the truth from him." It is possible that you only got the amount of truth that he was unable to hide.
The biggest issue is not that he cheated (which in itself is big) but more that he made a calculated decision to have unprotected with you which proves he doesn't care about your health, not then so likely always.
You might want to read up on psychopaths, just in case.  Since they make up a % of the population most people eventually end up having an interaction with one.  But no one can diagnose anyone from here so I am not trying to and will leave this thread.
Men just pee in a cup to test for gonorrhea, chlamydia and NGU.

Having chlamydia for 7 months untreated (and really, it didn't have to go this long, since he knew in December, according to him) could possibly cause some long term problems for you. Every woman is different on this, so unfortunately, the only way you'll know is from the ultrasound.

Along with ANM's points, I do want to point out that he found out in December, according to him. He DID NOT TELL YOU. Ever. He allowed you to go untreated for at least 2 months, if he's not lying about this. Well, really - he should have tested right after (and hell, he should have used condoms, but we can only dig this hole so deep), and gotten treatment, so as NOT TO INFECT YOU.

To me, it makes no difference if the other girl lied about having a bf, or just wanted in his pants. He let her in them. Her motives have nothing to do with this. His actions do. Take her out of it. She didn't have a commitment with you. He did. He betrayed you on so many levels it hurts to think about it - trust, health, emotional, protection (your relationship, your body, your mind, your heart, your spirit).

You've already talked to him, but I'll tell you something I've learned - there is no such thing as closure, at least in the way I think you mean. The discussion you have with him will not give you the answers you want, you will likely never feel satisfied that he understands how much he hurt you from this, you will likely never really feel HEARD by him. That's okay. You don't need to.

You are strong enough to get through this without any of those things. Those things are nice, but not necessary. You will find closure in time, when you realize that you are better off without him, and when you are able to move on.

Be kind to yourself right now. :)

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