Anxiety over Gonorrhea and Chlamydia test

[Nikibean]

Hello everyone, I’m hoping someone could answer my question, to help ease my nervousness/anxiety over testing.I’m a 42 year old female who entered a relationship with a guy over three months ago. Before this relationship, I was single and celibate for a little over three years.  Yesterday I went to a community clinic for routine rapid HIV testing. When they called me to the back, the nurse gave me a cup and said it was for gonorrhea and Chlamydia testing, I was hesitant because I was only expecting to test for HIV, Hep C, and Syphilis. I went a head and gave the urine sample and went in for my testing. I tested negative for everything, but the she explained the other two would take 3 to 5 days. My question is, what is the likelihood that I test positive for Gonorrhea and/or Chlamydia if I’ve shown no symptoms of either? The last time I was tested for these STIs was the end of 2018, and the guy I was in the relationship with then always used condoms for vaginal sex. The only time it was unprotected during our whole relationship was when it slipped off once. Although I haven’t displayed any symptoms that would suggest I have these STIs,  I’m really anxious and worried. It may be irrational fears.  I don’t want to give anything to my current partner. Thank you in advance.

[GuitarRox]

Here's the problem. You are looking for reassurance for anxiety. Anxiety will keep you asking for reassurance. You clearly need to speak to someone about the anxiety issue. You should be able to have a normal sex life without a onslaught of anxiety about std's. You were with someone exclusively who used condoms. They are protecting themselves. And you. One time a condom slipped off and you are worrying like this? That's over . . . way way over the top. You need help with this so you can lead a functional life. I wouldn't have even tested for these. They offered, you did. And you will surely be negative. You are definitely having irrational fears. And these kinds of things ruin relationships. Do you see a therapist?

[Nikibean]

Thank you for your response. No I’m not currently seeing a therapist, and you are right. I’ve struggled with anxiety  and OCD since my daughter’s father was diagnosed with hiv shortly after I gave birth. It places me in a constant state of fear when it comes to sex and STDs, although my child and I tested negative. It has been a constant struggle. This is one of the reasons I don’t have multiple partners at once. It’s very exhausting, and I wish you could have a normal sex life. I understand that in life they’re risks, but I just want to live and love without the constant fear and worry.

[Nikibean]

I have a typo. I meant to say I wish I could have a normal sex life.

[auntiejessi]

Listen, some of us aren't meant to have multiple partners at once. I'm not.

Years ago, I thought I'd date two people at once. I called one of the guys and asked for the other guy, like I called Steve's house and asked for Sam. Clearly, I'm not good at managing that stuff, right? Thankfully, Steve's roommate didn't recognize my voice, and it was before caller ID.

There is no such thing as a "normal" sex life - it's what is "normal" for you, and what makes you happy and healthy and fulfilled.

You're 42. You're old enough to know what you want, and what works for you, and what doesn't. You're old enough to ask for testing before having sex, and if some guy doesn't want to do that, his loss.

What you went through with your daughter's father was obviously scary, and you should allow yourself the space to actually process that trauma with a qualified professional.

You can have a "normal" sex life, whatever that looks like for you. Talk to your doctor about vaccines for HPV and Hep B, and to your partner about testing. Get a referral for counseling. You really can find peace around this, and you deserve it. :)

[Nikibean]

I will take your advice. Thank you so much for taking the time to respond! :)

[auntiejessi]

You're welcome. I wish you the best. :)