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Worrying brief single encounter with CSW
I’ve been reading the posts here for a couple days to find situations similar to mine but I think it would be best to explain my situation for myself.
I got really drunk 3 nights ago and ended up having a sexual encounter with a trans escort while vacationing in Argentina.
What happened was that we did a little foreplay but I actively tried to not kiss her on the lips. If I did, they were pecks. Sometimes she tried to go deeper but she only succeeded once. This concerns me. Each kiss was only about 1-5 seconds. The one time she did try to French kiss me (I did not reciprocate with my tongue), it lasted 3 seconds.
She gave me unprotected oral sex for only around 20-30 seconds but stopped after I told her I didn’t like it. Then, we had maybe 30 seconds of protected anal sex (she rode and then in missionary. Didn’t last that long because I went soft. She threw away the condom both times.
There was a time when I kissed the shaft of her genitalia maybe two or three times but that was it. Again, pecks.
Our genitalia may have brushed each other 2 or 3 times for only a few seconds. There was also a point where I touched her genitalia and my genitalia briefly, then put my finger in her mouth and we maybe kissed briefly. I can’t remember if this was her tongue kiss.
The day after this happened I had a panic attack that I may have contracted HIV from this experience. I talked to a local foundation via social media and told them everything I’ve said here and they said there was very little risk. They recommended I go to a doctor if I had lingering doubts, just to assure me. I went the same day, within 24 hours, to get a doctor’s opinion but he told me the same, “almost zero” but he put me on PEP anyway. Again, just to calm my doubts. Luckily, it was completely free here, as a foreigner.
This was a single encounter and any kissing or direct contact was very brief. Most of the time, we cuddled, talked, or I kissed her neck. I think I was starting to sober up by the time I realised what I was doing, which is why I went soft and avoided some contact.
I think maybe I’m over-freaking about the HIV risk here but I am freaking out about other possible STIs. What do you think is my risk after reading this info?
I got really drunk 3 nights ago and ended up having a sexual encounter with a trans escort while vacationing in Argentina.
What happened was that we did a little foreplay but I actively tried to not kiss her on the lips. If I did, they were pecks. Sometimes she tried to go deeper but she only succeeded once. This concerns me. Each kiss was only about 1-5 seconds. The one time she did try to French kiss me (I did not reciprocate with my tongue), it lasted 3 seconds.
She gave me unprotected oral sex for only around 20-30 seconds but stopped after I told her I didn’t like it. Then, we had maybe 30 seconds of protected anal sex (she rode and then in missionary. Didn’t last that long because I went soft. She threw away the condom both times.
There was a time when I kissed the shaft of her genitalia maybe two or three times but that was it. Again, pecks.
Our genitalia may have brushed each other 2 or 3 times for only a few seconds. There was also a point where I touched her genitalia and my genitalia briefly, then put my finger in her mouth and we maybe kissed briefly. I can’t remember if this was her tongue kiss.
The day after this happened I had a panic attack that I may have contracted HIV from this experience. I talked to a local foundation via social media and told them everything I’ve said here and they said there was very little risk. They recommended I go to a doctor if I had lingering doubts, just to assure me. I went the same day, within 24 hours, to get a doctor’s opinion but he told me the same, “almost zero” but he put me on PEP anyway. Again, just to calm my doubts. Luckily, it was completely free here, as a foreigner.
This was a single encounter and any kissing or direct contact was very brief. Most of the time, we cuddled, talked, or I kissed her neck. I think I was starting to sober up by the time I realised what I was doing, which is why I went soft and avoided some contact.
I think maybe I’m over-freaking about the HIV risk here but I am freaking out about other possible STIs. What do you think is my risk after reading this info?
COMMUNITY LEADER
The only risk from kissing is oral hsv1, which 67% of the population under 50 has globally. An escort, trans or not, has no higher risk than anyone else for this. A quick kiss isn't likely to transmit this, if you don't already have it. 90% of those who have it never get symptoms. I wouldn't worry at all about this if I were you.
Your genitals brushing against each other isn't really a risk. A brief touch won't transmit anything, either. It takes some heavy grinding or rubbing to transmit STIs.
There may be a slight risk from the unprotected oral. Unprotected oral can transmit syphilis, hsv1 (if you don't already have it, and gonorrhea and chlamydia. Oral sex is lower risk than vaginal or anal sex, and a few seconds of oral sex doesn't really warrant testing. Most experts don't think that one act of oral sex, even to completion, warrants testing without symptoms.
You had protected anal sex, for a few seconds, so there isn't a risk there.
There's no risk for HIV, and you didn't need to go on PEP.
Your anxiety is way out of proportion for the risk. If anxiety is normally this high, talk to your doctor. The foundation and a doctor both told you that you had little risk, if any, and that should have been enough, yet here you are, asking again. I'd guess your anxiety is a bigger problem for you than any STI or HIV risk.
Your genitals brushing against each other isn't really a risk. A brief touch won't transmit anything, either. It takes some heavy grinding or rubbing to transmit STIs.
There may be a slight risk from the unprotected oral. Unprotected oral can transmit syphilis, hsv1 (if you don't already have it, and gonorrhea and chlamydia. Oral sex is lower risk than vaginal or anal sex, and a few seconds of oral sex doesn't really warrant testing. Most experts don't think that one act of oral sex, even to completion, warrants testing without symptoms.
You had protected anal sex, for a few seconds, so there isn't a risk there.
There's no risk for HIV, and you didn't need to go on PEP.
Your anxiety is way out of proportion for the risk. If anxiety is normally this high, talk to your doctor. The foundation and a doctor both told you that you had little risk, if any, and that should have been enough, yet here you are, asking again. I'd guess your anxiety is a bigger problem for you than any STI or HIV risk.
4 Comments
Auntiejessi,
Before I respond, I want to thank you for your answer and insight. Not just for my post but for others too. Yes, my anxiety is normally this bad when anything other than a slight convenience happens to me. Sometimes, I need other people to reassure me because I cannot comfort myself.
I should also mention that I bite my lips pretty often but now I worry that every little scar or bite bump is herpes. Again, this could be my anxiety and I’ll take up on your suggestion.
I do plan to get tested for the other STIs you mentioned after their incubation periods. This was an extremely regrettable and stupid encounter but I do plan to be responsible with my health.
Before I respond, I want to thank you for your answer and insight. Not just for my post but for others too. Yes, my anxiety is normally this bad when anything other than a slight convenience happens to me. Sometimes, I need other people to reassure me because I cannot comfort myself.
I should also mention that I bite my lips pretty often but now I worry that every little scar or bite bump is herpes. Again, this could be my anxiety and I’ll take up on your suggestion.
I do plan to get tested for the other STIs you mentioned after their incubation periods. This was an extremely regrettable and stupid encounter but I do plan to be responsible with my health.
Get tested if you need to for peace of mind, but also talk to your doctor about your anxiety. If you are going to be responsible with your health, remember that your mental health is just as important as your physical health. There are good treatments for you that can help you find some relief - medications and really good therapies that can help you comfort yourself.
This isn't an "extremely regrettable" event. You had a low risk encounter and maybe had some curiosities. That's very normal. Sex is a normal part of life, and I hope with treating your anxiety, you can find a way to enjoy it. :)
This isn't an "extremely regrettable" event. You had a low risk encounter and maybe had some curiosities. That's very normal. Sex is a normal part of life, and I hope with treating your anxiety, you can find a way to enjoy it. :)
Auntiejessi,
I’m sorry if I’m sounding like a broken record here. What would be the right time to take tests for STIs such as gonorrhea and chlamydia?
So far, I am still on PEP and the first day I had a lot of side effects such as nausea, aches, and diarrhea. Now, with the single pill a night, I just have diarrhea. I also sometimes experience an itch around my rectal area, but I’ve read that this is common after experiencing a lot of diarrhea (which is all I have had lately). This could be an extension of that side effect, correct? And would you recommend that I just get off PEP?
I also experienced a small discharge from my penis today. Although I did not have an erection, I did experience arousal leading up to this. Nothing feels painful.
I do get an occasional itch around my genital area but I also did shave my area shortly before the incident and the hair is growing back. I am also trusting this is normal after shaving that area.
None of these things I have described to you has brought me pain in any way, even if I do sometimes feel a stray itch or ache.
I should lastly mention that during the encounter, we sometimes put our hands on each other’s genitalia and then our own even if it had “precum”. Would this also be considered low risk?
Crucially, I forgot to mention that the encounter lasted about 2 hours but was pretty much how I described, with direct contact between lips or genitals being brief and minimal. We talked or cuddled for the most part. Don’t know if that helps. Worrying a little less today.
Thank you
I’m sorry if I’m sounding like a broken record here. What would be the right time to take tests for STIs such as gonorrhea and chlamydia?
So far, I am still on PEP and the first day I had a lot of side effects such as nausea, aches, and diarrhea. Now, with the single pill a night, I just have diarrhea. I also sometimes experience an itch around my rectal area, but I’ve read that this is common after experiencing a lot of diarrhea (which is all I have had lately). This could be an extension of that side effect, correct? And would you recommend that I just get off PEP?
I also experienced a small discharge from my penis today. Although I did not have an erection, I did experience arousal leading up to this. Nothing feels painful.
I do get an occasional itch around my genital area but I also did shave my area shortly before the incident and the hair is growing back. I am also trusting this is normal after shaving that area.
None of these things I have described to you has brought me pain in any way, even if I do sometimes feel a stray itch or ache.
I should lastly mention that during the encounter, we sometimes put our hands on each other’s genitalia and then our own even if it had “precum”. Would this also be considered low risk?
Crucially, I forgot to mention that the encounter lasted about 2 hours but was pretty much how I described, with direct contact between lips or genitals being brief and minimal. We talked or cuddled for the most part. Don’t know if that helps. Worrying a little less today.
Thank you
That last part isn't critical at all. It changes nothing.
I can't tell you to stop taking meds you are already taking. I can say that if it were me, I'd have never started taking them in the first place.
Gonorrhea and chlamydia are conclusive at 5 days.
You'd need to talk to a pharmacist about the side effects of the meds you're on. They have a LOT of side effects, though. An itch after diarrhea is common, though.
Have you considered therapy? You really, really need it.
I can't tell you to stop taking meds you are already taking. I can say that if it were me, I'd have never started taking them in the first place.
Gonorrhea and chlamydia are conclusive at 5 days.
You'd need to talk to a pharmacist about the side effects of the meds you're on. They have a LOT of side effects, though. An itch after diarrhea is common, though.
Have you considered therapy? You really, really need it.
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You are reading content posted in the STDs / STIs Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
