Std or herpes from protected anal sex?

[Samshamsd]

I am a 57 year old male. I have always had a fantasy of receiving anal sex.  Two days ago I went to a. Adult theater,  hooked up with  guy.  I gave him oral with a condom on.  I than sat on him and gave him anal.  He got up and had sex with me from behind.  I made sure the condom was on correctly and used lube.  Why did I do this!  I so regret it., and my advise to anyone is let fantasies stay fantasies.  I have a wonderful wife of over 30 years and a incredible family, and I realize if I get I infected it is all over.  It just happens two days ago and yesterday and today I am focusing so much on my anus,  especially when laying in bed.  I had stomach problems (diarrhea) the morning before I did this and later in the day and the next day.  I also have really bad hemorrhoids frequently.  I keep feeling like my anus hurts, or is itchy, or burning, but then I don't feel anything.  I am really freaking out ,  what are the chances I obtained herpes or another std?  I can't take the stress and don't know what to do.

[Sillymistake87]

Photobucket didnt work - Go on to Imgur and send me a private message with the album and ill have a look later when im back from work for you :)

[Samshamsd]

https://imgur.com/a/vJlslrn  Here is a link to pictures

[Dadz1990]

Hi,
Just looked I still do not think this looks or is described anything like Herpes. It looks like you have had a spot that you have been picking at.
I think it’s time for you to move on.

[Samshamsd]

Thank you. I hope you are right but I didn't pick at it, it just appeared.  I purposely didn't touch it because I read it can be spread to eyes etc
If it is touched.  It also never hurt or itched. if I hadn't looked I wouldn't have known it was there.  I would like to move on, but probably will need to get a blood tesr in a few weeks.  If anyone else can comment on the pictures it would be appreciated.

[Sillymistake87]

I have to agree with Dadz, it looks like a superficial spot type thing which is just healing up

[Samshamsd]

Thanks I hope you are correct but it is hard to accept that it coincidentally appeared 6 days after an encounter; I guess I have to be hopeful, but it is really hard to be look

[Tfen1866]

You could probably just go get that swabbed with a type specific pcr test to ease your mind, though idk if thats already too healed now or not for it to get a good sample..but could definitely be an option rather than driving yourself nuts while waiting weeks for a blood test..just a thought

[auntiejessi]

Herpes sores don't appear already burst and scabbed. I looked at your pics - I can see why you think it's herpes, but you're doing a lot of what many really anxious people do, and reading all kinds of things on all kinds of sites and it probably isn't all accurate.

There is no such thing as an outbreak that isn't visible. There is asymptomatic viral shedding, where the virus is active on the skin without symptoms, but that's not an outbreak.

People can get very mild outbreaks and mistake those for other things, but the symptoms are visible.

I'm really confused by your stress symptoms from an encounter you had a long time ago - what is that? Your penis hurts?

Scaly or flaky skin is usually fungal or something like eczema or dermatitis, not herpes. It might even be from examining yourself so often.

[Samshamsd]

Yes I should have gone to a doctor friday before it fully healed but I was freaking out so much I couldn't think right.  I was convinced I had it so didn't think it necessary.  I still believe I do, and am afraid to hope I don't because I don't want to be devastated if I find I do.  I am just having a mental breakdown and stressing over this.  Thank you all for your comments.

[Samshamsd]

The penis pain is caused when I get stressed,  basically it happens because I tighten my muscles in back and lower body, and that creates pain at the tip of my penis, its called prostatis I believe.  I just need to relax the tension and stretch and it goes away.  It happens to me about once or twice na year.

[auntiejessi]

It's time for therapy. Really. You need to sort this out, and address your guilt and fears.

If this was an initial herpes outbreak, there's no way it would be healing this quickly.  

[Sillymistake87]

3 of us who answer questions here alot have all said that it does not look like herpes. From looking at pics and from scientific evidence of what we know of herpes you are fine. Move on.

I also have prostatitis and is not caused from an STI.

Move on dude, you are totally, totally fine.

[Samshamsd]

You are right, I should get therapy,  I have a wonderful family and life, not sure why I do things to risk it.  I appreciate you taking the time to review the pictures and offer advice.  As you said, I look at pictures and read on the internet and get convinced I have herpes.  Especially with the nerve pains I have been having, but I am not eating well or exercising like i usually do and stressing heavily. Are you certain the sores aren't herpes or should i get a test in a few weeks?

[auntiejessi]

I've had hsv2 for almost 20 years. I've worked in and around the STI/HIV field for even longer. That's not a herpes sore.

I understand how hard this is to let go, and so do SM and Dadz. But really, get the therapy.

[Samshamsd]

Thank you all

[auntiejessi]

So first, breathe.

You used a condom for everything, so that makes your risks really low.

The condom means that you have no risk for HIV, gonorrhea, chlamydia, NGU, trich, and mycoplasma.

You have a low risk for syphilis, herpes type 2 and HPV.

Syphilis isn't that common in developed countries (the US, UK, countries in Europe, Canada, etc.), and you'd have to come into direct contact with a sore.

Herpes type 2 and HPV possible, but condoms offer significant protection.

Anal sex can cause micro tears in the anus, and healing of those can cause itching, so I wouldn't worry about that.

Stress can cause diarrhea, as can alcohol, if that was a factor.

Remember that guilt does not equal risk.

[Samshamsd]

Your response did calm me,   But I have been living on the edge,  completely freaking out.  I am on day 6;  I have been feeling cold like symptoms for a day or so;   I can’t tell if self induced due to my stress,  which is beyond belief.   I found a pimple  ear my scrotum day 2 and freaked out.   It it was just a pimple.  I just found another sore in my leg/thigh - ;  It isn’t a cluster of blisters,  just a red mark that looks like a scratch.  so could be a single herpes sore,  or I don’t know.  Maybe it was a blister that broke,  but there was no pain and I didn’t know it was there til I looked.  I have been examining myself every 30  minutes or so and told myself not to do it today.  I didn’t,   But just did and found that sore.  I have so much to lose,  and I am basically having a mental breakdown.  I am trying to make it through the 20 day incubation period,  and hopefully what I just saw was a pimple,   But if not I guess it will continue to get worse.  I really don’t know what to do.  My advice to anyone is to not screw around and do this to your self;  think before you act.

[Sillymistake87]

Again take a breath.

If it looks like a pimple it most likely is. You had protected sex.

Checking every 30 mins will make anxiety worse and that will mimic symptoms. It will also cause more issues as you will upset your penis by checking constantly.

You were very low risk. Chances are you are totally fine.

[auntiejessi]

Oh no, don't do that. I've had hsv2 for almost 20 years. If you get a herpes outbreak, you won't need to examine yourself to find it. If you must check, limit yourself to once a day, or like SM says, you will just cause irritation checking that often.

[Samshamsd]

Thanks,   It the sore on my butt looks so much like herpes,  so I am sure I have it.it’s on my rear,  I would put a photo but it doesn’t work to do that;  Terrible situation.  Don’t know how to handle.

[Samshamsd]

Well,  the sore is small, but taking a close up photo and blowing it up it looks like herpes, 4 or 5 small dots with brown in center and scaly skin with small scabs.  Looks like photos of herpes after they have burst,  but never saw raised vesicles. No major white/creamy bumps but pretty sure it is herpes nonetheless. Also,  getting a moving nerve pain/burning in left butt cheek;  feels like skin is burning but nothing there and it moves around.  I also had cold like symptoms last week,  no fever,   But  sore throat, etc.  oddly enough,  about 15 years ago I had a sexual encounter with a woman and told my wife.  I have told her in the past that I think I got an std at the time,  because I freaked out then and confessed. It took 10 years for her to forgive me, and really she never did.  I also regularly get recurring pain in my penis when I get stressed out, and have told her I am getting that pain now,  which I am not.  I have told her that this sore must be a recurrence of that out break, and she believes it.  We are under some stress,  so it lines up.  However,  at this point if we have sex,  she will get an  initial herpes outbreak , so not sure how to explain that away.    Although it doesn’t sound like it,  other than the above encounter and 3 experiences at adult theaters ( oral with condom , not anal like last week),  I have been faithful for 30 plus years.  It is true that it only takes one time, and my entire wonderful life is going to implode;  I had the perfect life,  and ruined it.  I really don’t know what to do.

[Dadz1990]

Is there a way to upload a photo I’ll have a look @ it (not sure if it’s allowed) but it really dosnt sound like herpes in anything you have wrote.

[Sillymistake87]

Feel free to send a pic to me if you want as well but I highly doubt it is herpes. Try to relax.

[Samshamsd]

Is there a way to send photos on this website?

[Samshamsd]

It is now day 10 after encounter,  the sore started day 6, and is now just flat red skin,  I took a picture every day so I could blow it up and see (it is in my lower butt cheek so I can't see unless I look in a mirror).  If I can figure out how to send a photo I will do so..  I appreciate you looking at it.

[Tfen1866]

Hey man so I’m pretty sure they dont allow photos on this site but if they agree to it i think there’s a website that you can upload and link them to..otherwise maybe in direct message?

[Samshamsd]

I really appreciate if any of you can look at the photos;  I can’t imagine the coincidence of getting this sore 6 days after my encounter.  I may have had phantom other symptoms due to stress ( cold symptoms, back aches,  nerve pain) but the sore is something I can’t fake.  I stare and stare at herpes photos on the internet to compare, but all the websites say everyone’s outbreak is different, and many time there are no sores or they are so small they can’t be seen.  When I zoom in on my sore, it looks like a herpes sore, with small brown specks and scalloped skin. And it appeared then healed in 4 days,  which seems to follow how herpes works but then again it wasn’t a raised bump or a group of clear/white colored blisters.  Maybe the blisters came at night when I was asleep so I didn’t see them. I am going back and forth between slight hope and then complete depressive devastation.  Anyone who knows and can comment on my photos will be appreciated by me.  If I have it,  i don’t think I will be happy ever again knowing what I did to my wife, and continually worrying she will have an outbreak,  which at some point she will.