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Debate: is watching porn cheating?
I know everyone has their own opinions, I am curious what you guys think. Is it ok to masturbate watching porn, or is that a form of betraying your significant other? Or is it circumstancial, and up to the people in each individual relationship to decide together?
I dont think porn is wrong or even masterbating to it...unless youre single. He/she - if in a relationship -watching porn is watching and being turned on/wanking off to a naked person doing sexual acts who isnt their partner. You are mentually and physically cheating. Imagine if some naked people were having sex in front of you with no contact at all but you were getting off on it, wouldnt that be wrong? Why isnt it wrong through a screen? The only difference is they arent physically in the room. I am not a prude and I do alot of different sexual acts. I want sex more than my bf but still he watches porn.
Ive told him it hurts me and when I try and talk a about it he gets angry. Once he promised he wouldnt do it again and for months I believed him until I found him doing it. I felt like an idiot anddc betrayed. Then we watched it together and found it weird. Then I found him doing it again while we were in an argument- who does that? Im always scared ill catch him and it hurts too much knowing other women are turning him on. Its different looking at someone on tv or in the street thinking theyre pretty but actually getting off on another woman whoisnt your partner just seems like a betrayal imo.
Ive told him it hurts me and when I try and talk a about it he gets angry. Once he promised he wouldnt do it again and for months I believed him until I found him doing it. I felt like an idiot anddc betrayed. Then we watched it together and found it weird. Then I found him doing it again while we were in an argument- who does that? Im always scared ill catch him and it hurts too much knowing other women are turning him on. Its different looking at someone on tv or in the street thinking theyre pretty but actually getting off on another woman whoisnt your partner just seems like a betrayal imo.
2 Comments
I 100% agree!!!!
My 2 cents... It's circumstantial and a lot more complicated than some p'ssed off women may say...
Firstly, how good is the woman to you in bed? This is not always the womans fault either, some girls just don't know how to do oral sex (small mouths, can't deep throat etc) and can't take anal sex and don't have boobs big enough for a *** job... Many girls are also closed minded about fetishes such as facials etc.
Then there is many women who are just too self centered and/or ego driven to bother themselves trying. This leaves a man with no choice but to watch porn and get off to it. Ultimately no it is not cheating at all, it is a man touching his own body with his own hand and it's not like he is in love with or even talks to the porn star in the video or picture. It's not the same as say having a mistress and a secret affair.
Another thing to consider is that most all women, espeically married women, at some point down the line, even if as late as 50+, they start fantasising about younger men and masturbating in the shower etc. Women think about sex even more than men and if you think women are angels above deviant thoughts well you are very much mistaken. Yes another thing to consider is that porn changes a mans brain and depending what age you were when you first saw pornographer and what type of porn it was will result in the pornographic and fetish interests you will develop and most likely have your whole life. There are just some things that a girlfriend cannot do as well. For example, you may have a fetish for watching women large quanities of semen if Bukkake porn is your fetish, so unless your girlfriend or wife is willing to have a hundred plus guys ejaculate into her mouth or a pint glass, so you can watch her drink it, then this seual desire you have will never be satisfied - meaning the only alternative is to watch porn. Or maybe you like watching extreme BDSM paddling videos where women pass out from the pain of having their ass spanked... hardly something you'd want to do with the woman you love and care for! So you see my point? Many sexual fantasies a man has he knows he can never do with his woman because he respects her too much to use her like a ***** or he loves her too much to ever hurt her in any way. Many men see their wives this way - the mother of their children - their best friend who they care for and protect - not their sexual devil woman who will satisfy all their most extreme and perverse sexual fantasies. Another thing that stops men even talking to their woman about their sexual desires is that they fear losing the respect of their woman, especially if, say, they want a finger or dildo in the ass or something bordering on gay, or even if they want roleplay like school uniforms etc... Secrecy is what keeps most relationships between a man and a woman alive, because if women knew the truth about how men think no woman would be with any man - and vice versa. Men also have a natural instictive attraction to VARIETY - the "new" and "other" and younger girls. Of course all men will deny this fact to their woman because their hardly about to admit wanting to shag the young sexy check out girl at the grocery store who served them when shopping together earlier. As a man what pisses me off about women most is how they are more attracted to men who already have a woman. I find this such a turn off, and then they ignore you when you are alone. It's a truly revolting nature they have. Sorry if that sounds hateful, I know men have many flaws too. Basically humans are full of hypocrisies. Anyway, my advice is this, if you truly love your wife or girlfriend, if you care about her deeply with your heart, beyond even physical attraction and sexual satisfaction etc, then just ask yourself can you live your life contently with her, using porn to satisfy and fill that missing void - that urge to satisfy your fantasies... Or do you think you will start cheating on her and ultimately leave her? Because if you think you will cheat on her, then maybe it's time to come clean with her about who you are and your different needs. But don't let her feel it's her fault or that she wasn't good enough. I will say this however, sex is overrated and the grass always seems greener. If you love a girl with your heart, treat her with love and kindness and caring and nuture the relationship, make her happy and that will give you a sense of reward in life. But if there's no love between you that's a different story and you should just leave and satisfy your sexual needs until you find a suitable partner - although this is hard to do.
Firstly, how good is the woman to you in bed? This is not always the womans fault either, some girls just don't know how to do oral sex (small mouths, can't deep throat etc) and can't take anal sex and don't have boobs big enough for a *** job... Many girls are also closed minded about fetishes such as facials etc.
Then there is many women who are just too self centered and/or ego driven to bother themselves trying. This leaves a man with no choice but to watch porn and get off to it. Ultimately no it is not cheating at all, it is a man touching his own body with his own hand and it's not like he is in love with or even talks to the porn star in the video or picture. It's not the same as say having a mistress and a secret affair.
Another thing to consider is that most all women, espeically married women, at some point down the line, even if as late as 50+, they start fantasising about younger men and masturbating in the shower etc. Women think about sex even more than men and if you think women are angels above deviant thoughts well you are very much mistaken. Yes another thing to consider is that porn changes a mans brain and depending what age you were when you first saw pornographer and what type of porn it was will result in the pornographic and fetish interests you will develop and most likely have your whole life. There are just some things that a girlfriend cannot do as well. For example, you may have a fetish for watching women large quanities of semen if Bukkake porn is your fetish, so unless your girlfriend or wife is willing to have a hundred plus guys ejaculate into her mouth or a pint glass, so you can watch her drink it, then this seual desire you have will never be satisfied - meaning the only alternative is to watch porn. Or maybe you like watching extreme BDSM paddling videos where women pass out from the pain of having their ass spanked... hardly something you'd want to do with the woman you love and care for! So you see my point? Many sexual fantasies a man has he knows he can never do with his woman because he respects her too much to use her like a ***** or he loves her too much to ever hurt her in any way. Many men see their wives this way - the mother of their children - their best friend who they care for and protect - not their sexual devil woman who will satisfy all their most extreme and perverse sexual fantasies. Another thing that stops men even talking to their woman about their sexual desires is that they fear losing the respect of their woman, especially if, say, they want a finger or dildo in the ass or something bordering on gay, or even if they want roleplay like school uniforms etc... Secrecy is what keeps most relationships between a man and a woman alive, because if women knew the truth about how men think no woman would be with any man - and vice versa. Men also have a natural instictive attraction to VARIETY - the "new" and "other" and younger girls. Of course all men will deny this fact to their woman because their hardly about to admit wanting to shag the young sexy check out girl at the grocery store who served them when shopping together earlier. As a man what pisses me off about women most is how they are more attracted to men who already have a woman. I find this such a turn off, and then they ignore you when you are alone. It's a truly revolting nature they have. Sorry if that sounds hateful, I know men have many flaws too. Basically humans are full of hypocrisies. Anyway, my advice is this, if you truly love your wife or girlfriend, if you care about her deeply with your heart, beyond even physical attraction and sexual satisfaction etc, then just ask yourself can you live your life contently with her, using porn to satisfy and fill that missing void - that urge to satisfy your fantasies... Or do you think you will start cheating on her and ultimately leave her? Because if you think you will cheat on her, then maybe it's time to come clean with her about who you are and your different needs. But don't let her feel it's her fault or that she wasn't good enough. I will say this however, sex is overrated and the grass always seems greener. If you love a girl with your heart, treat her with love and kindness and caring and nuture the relationship, make her happy and that will give you a sense of reward in life. But if there's no love between you that's a different story and you should just leave and satisfy your sexual needs until you find a suitable partner - although this is hard to do.
I definitely do not consider watching porn cheating. I am okay with my guy watching porn in moderation, as I watch it as well. You can look, but not touch.
Ok, all you lame excuse making men...watching porn is self indulgent, self centered and self pleasing. When in a committed relationship, it is no longer all about you...shocker, right? I am really sick of hearing that you (men) have a higher sex drive (I have yet to find a man to keep up with me). Y'all are just plain lazy and whiny snotty nosed brats who want to have your cake and eat it too and then try to pass it off a "natural"...oh, brother.
I have given my husband everything...I mean EVERYTHING. I initiate kinky and adventurous sex. I make naughty videos and pictures...even wearing costumes and wigs. I tolerate and am kind to his lame family. I am an awesome cook. I play like a kid and can be elegant and sophisticated as well. I am an artist and I love myself. And I just caught my husband using Internet porn...I am so not cool with that. I mean, how would he feel if I posted one of my "for his eyes only" videos for other men to see? How would any of you men feel about your woman being a masturbation tool for other men? I mean, I am not technically doing anything "wrong" (not engaging in actual sex) according to your (men) way of looking at it...how about if it was your mother...your daughter?
If you wouldn't be proud to show pornographic pictures of people you love to a bachelor party...then it isn't right. Sex is awesome, I love it...but I have respect for myself and for others. So don't be giving me these lines of malarkey that it is ok, even "normal".
I believe in living a noble exuberant life...and I will remain true to myself and encourage others to aim for higher moral ground. I am not sure on what the future holds for my husband being a part of my life, but he is in deep sh*t.
I have given my husband everything...I mean EVERYTHING. I initiate kinky and adventurous sex. I make naughty videos and pictures...even wearing costumes and wigs. I tolerate and am kind to his lame family. I am an awesome cook. I play like a kid and can be elegant and sophisticated as well. I am an artist and I love myself. And I just caught my husband using Internet porn...I am so not cool with that. I mean, how would he feel if I posted one of my "for his eyes only" videos for other men to see? How would any of you men feel about your woman being a masturbation tool for other men? I mean, I am not technically doing anything "wrong" (not engaging in actual sex) according to your (men) way of looking at it...how about if it was your mother...your daughter?
If you wouldn't be proud to show pornographic pictures of people you love to a bachelor party...then it isn't right. Sex is awesome, I love it...but I have respect for myself and for others. So don't be giving me these lines of malarkey that it is ok, even "normal".
I believe in living a noble exuberant life...and I will remain true to myself and encourage others to aim for higher moral ground. I am not sure on what the future holds for my husband being a part of my life, but he is in deep sh*t.
to me it's pretty much cheating when you rather look at porn on a daily basis than have sex with your partner .You are emotionally cheating. You are thinking of being with some else other than the person you are really with. it's the same thing. people just don't want to admit that because they end up feeling guilty. Especially when you have to lie about it or say I'll never do it again then as soon as he/she leaves you Still do it or when you do it and your partner is laying on the bed right next to you sleeping! What else do/could you lie about? Your partner has needs too and they need you to put it down every once in a while. If you're too busy masturbating all the damn time then how are you gonna give your best performance!? They don't want sloppy seconds because, that's what it feels like they are getting lol. if you don't do that they will start to feel insecure with themselves and go looking for some one who will meet their needs.
I feel looking at porn is cheating....Matthew 5:27 "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery'". Matthew 5:28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. According to the Bible, it is adultery and therefore cheating. Which is why I cannot stand my husband looking at porn. It is disrespectful, degrading, and just plain wrong and does not belong in our marriage. Many people think it is normal...it is not. It goes against God's word!
Totally agree. It is my body and if I want to have fun with myself, who is there to stop me? You only live once and it does not harm your body. In fact I think masturbating to porn is the saviour of a 21st century relationship (for my own conscience admittedly - as long as I still have some sex with my partner). Sex is everywhere.. better learn to adapt and live with it than live in ignorance
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