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Extensive Trouble Having Sex for the First Time
My girlfriend and i have been dating for over 2 years on and off have struggled extensively attempting to have sex for the first time. We were both virgins when we started dating and early into our relationship we began to experiment with touching, hand jobs, oral and soon a problem became apparent. I was very sensitive and would often ejaculate very early when we were getting intimate (even during passionate kissing), once she would start actually touching my penis and preparing for me to *** though i would be able to last for several minutes at least. I figured this was due to the fact that when i was getting a hand job their was much less pressure on me to NOT ejaculate and i was therefor more relaxed and could last longer.
Despite those problems about 4 months into our relationship we decided to try having sex. I bought condoms and we were both committed and ready to do it. When i put the condom on though after i was very hard and ready i almost instantly lost my erection. On an attempt a few days later i could hold my erection for a bit but i almost instantly came. It was so frustrating and upsetting we gave up on it for a long time.
Now 2 years later we decided to have another serious go at it (we had tried multiple times again with similar results). I had trained myself to some degree to last longer when stimulated and felt that if i had come several hours earlier or had a few drinks i would be able to control myself (both had proven to be very effective in the past). This time when i was hard and i put the condom on i was able to stay erect so i tried to insert my penis into her but she seemed so tight i couldn't go in more than an inch or so and i soon would either lose my erection or ***.
Some sides notes also:
-We have made sure she was very wet before i tried inserting my penis but it didn't seem to make a difference
-I am quite large and she seems to be very tight which makes it more difficult
-We have tried having sex without a condom but i was still not able to get all the way in so i pulled out for fear of cumming in her
-She does feel pain when we try but we both felt it was normal
-I have tried so hard to relax and approach it with less stress but the constant problems make that very difficult
-We have been trying it almost exclusively in the missionary position
-Despite being able to hold back the ejaculation it still seems to be the major problem, once we really start attempting to insert i usually only have 10-15 seconds before i come or lose my erection
It has been such a frustrating and upsetting experience because it is something we both want very badly. My girlfriend has been 100% supportive of me the whole time but i cant help but feel ashamed and embarrassed when i can't do it. I'd really appreciate any help or suggestions that would be provided. Thank you
Despite those problems about 4 months into our relationship we decided to try having sex. I bought condoms and we were both committed and ready to do it. When i put the condom on though after i was very hard and ready i almost instantly lost my erection. On an attempt a few days later i could hold my erection for a bit but i almost instantly came. It was so frustrating and upsetting we gave up on it for a long time.
Now 2 years later we decided to have another serious go at it (we had tried multiple times again with similar results). I had trained myself to some degree to last longer when stimulated and felt that if i had come several hours earlier or had a few drinks i would be able to control myself (both had proven to be very effective in the past). This time when i was hard and i put the condom on i was able to stay erect so i tried to insert my penis into her but she seemed so tight i couldn't go in more than an inch or so and i soon would either lose my erection or ***.
Some sides notes also:
-We have made sure she was very wet before i tried inserting my penis but it didn't seem to make a difference
-I am quite large and she seems to be very tight which makes it more difficult
-We have tried having sex without a condom but i was still not able to get all the way in so i pulled out for fear of cumming in her
-She does feel pain when we try but we both felt it was normal
-I have tried so hard to relax and approach it with less stress but the constant problems make that very difficult
-We have been trying it almost exclusively in the missionary position
-Despite being able to hold back the ejaculation it still seems to be the major problem, once we really start attempting to insert i usually only have 10-15 seconds before i come or lose my erection
It has been such a frustrating and upsetting experience because it is something we both want very badly. My girlfriend has been 100% supportive of me the whole time but i cant help but feel ashamed and embarrassed when i can't do it. I'd really appreciate any help or suggestions that would be provided. Thank you
COMMUNITY LEADER
It will be ideal if you can consult sex therapist.If consultation is not possible , visit Wikipedia and search for premature ejaculation. other alternatives are as under;
kegel exercise for both.
Male deer exercise and female deer exercise
Sat kriya
spina rotation.
Sexual reflexology.
Gradual exposure to each sexual activity.; In this ,keep your goals lower, do not plan for orgasm. You will find details of this sex therapy in some website.As both of you are cooperative to each other and determined to solve the problem, you will succeed in your attempt. If your are yoga oriented, you may learn kundalini yoga.By pranayam, (controlling breathing) you can control your sexual arousal. Deep and slow breathing, gives a trenendous control on you sexual urge.
kegel exercise for both.
Male deer exercise and female deer exercise
Sat kriya
spina rotation.
Sexual reflexology.
Gradual exposure to each sexual activity.; In this ,keep your goals lower, do not plan for orgasm. You will find details of this sex therapy in some website.As both of you are cooperative to each other and determined to solve the problem, you will succeed in your attempt. If your are yoga oriented, you may learn kundalini yoga.By pranayam, (controlling breathing) you can control your sexual arousal. Deep and slow breathing, gives a trenendous control on you sexual urge.
Hello I'm sorry to hear of your problems. First of all its brilliant that the two of you have remained supportive of the other. I can't imagine how frustrating it must be.
I think you may need to see a sexual health specialist as they would most likely be able to help. As for your gf, has she tried using sex toys? It might not be what she wants but using sex toys might help her find it easier. I know you said she's well lubricated but it might even help to get some extra.
I think the priority tho is getting you to see someone about losing your erections. I wish I could offer more help because you both must be at your wits end.
I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that you find a solution!
Best of luck
I think you may need to see a sexual health specialist as they would most likely be able to help. As for your gf, has she tried using sex toys? It might not be what she wants but using sex toys might help her find it easier. I know you said she's well lubricated but it might even help to get some extra.
I think the priority tho is getting you to see someone about losing your erections. I wish I could offer more help because you both must be at your wits end.
I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that you find a solution!
Best of luck
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