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How to have an orgasm?
I am 36yr never been sexually active and i don't know much about my body sexually because it is such a taboo in the church to be knowledgable about the topic outside of marriage. This is my problem I am TTC using a sperm donor and self insemination (which is probably a taboo too, but i don't care). I know that I need to have an orgasm for the sperm to be drawn up past the cervical opening into the uterus. My problem/question is, is it possible for someone's clitoris to be too sensitive that you can't stand it to be stimulated? I get in the process and I am so ticklish/sensitive on my clitoris that I cringe, then tense up and pull away. Is there something I can do to relax or get past this? I am willing to do anything for arousal (except penile penitration) to have an orgasm. My donor tried to get me to have an orgasm and it wasn't possible. He did plenty of clitoral/vaginal stimulation with his hand and also nipple stimulation. I got to point where my body just pulled away from the intense stimulation. Any suggestions?
The clitoris is very sensitive and stimulating it too roughly (which most men don't understand) can numb it or desensitize it. Don't do it with a partner, do it by yourself first because that is how you'll be most comfortable. I would suggest to you to first get turned on mentally, like read one of those steamy romance novels, or watch a sexy movie (not porn, maybe that's too much for you) like 9 1/2 Weeks or Kama Sutra (the mainstream movie) or even some real lite soft core porn. Once you are turned on, start by touching yourself (your body will tell you where), but be very gentle. I wouldn't go straight for the vagina or the clit or even the nipples. Go around it, take your time, be patient. Once you are really turned on start touching your clit or even placing a finger or two into your vagina, which ever feels good. Make sure you're already wet when you do it. If touching your clit still feels bad, try touching yourself over a pair of silk panties or put a silky sheet or scarf between your clit and your fingers. Maybe even try stimulating it with a feather or something soft. Don't forget to do it very lightly.
Sometimes when I masturbate I do it hands free. I just squeeze my vaginal muscles over and over until I reach orgasm, it is really really intense that way but it takes a very long time.
I wold also suggest to take a nice warm bath and touch yourself gently in the water. It will relax you. You will probably never reach orgasm if you are worried about getting successfully impregnated or if you are too impatient and just want to get it over with. But every woman is different and only she knows how her body works. I don't know if you ever do plan on getting married and having intercourse with your husband, but if you don't know your own body he will most likely won't satisfy you either.
If your goal is to just get pregnant, you really don't need the orgasm part, but I really recommend you try it anyway because it is really really nice and it can help you relax and relieve some pent up energy. I worry about you being 36 and never having experienced an orgasm. Orgasms are healthy.
Sometimes when I masturbate I do it hands free. I just squeeze my vaginal muscles over and over until I reach orgasm, it is really really intense that way but it takes a very long time.
I wold also suggest to take a nice warm bath and touch yourself gently in the water. It will relax you. You will probably never reach orgasm if you are worried about getting successfully impregnated or if you are too impatient and just want to get it over with. But every woman is different and only she knows how her body works. I don't know if you ever do plan on getting married and having intercourse with your husband, but if you don't know your own body he will most likely won't satisfy you either.
If your goal is to just get pregnant, you really don't need the orgasm part, but I really recommend you try it anyway because it is really really nice and it can help you relax and relieve some pent up energy. I worry about you being 36 and never having experienced an orgasm. Orgasms are healthy.
My curiosity has also been peaked... isn't having an out of wedlock child just as taboo as having sex outside of marriage?
sex is sex be it penetration/oral. what kind of church is it, I am not being mean or disrespectful in any way but if you follow their rules as far as sex goes, what is their take on a pregnant single woman? getting pregnant the way you are trying to?? just curiious
i am using a sperm donor and doing intracervical self insemination, not intrauterine which requires doctor to do. I just don't want to have sex to get pregnant because of my church's taboo against premarital/extramarital sex. Thank you for your advice.
Hi, I think that for women it is not so much physical and it is emotional,I think you need to be attracted to the peron,and if you are doing it by yourself maybe be thinking about someone you are attracted to. Maybe a slow vibrator would help, You don't need to have an orgasm forthe sperm to get pregnant, I had three daughters with my first husband and trust me there was not any orgasm,LOL Are you see a doctor for this or just trying it on your own, only ask because with IUI the sperm is put into your uterus. best of luck to you
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