I am 37 & my wife is 35, Almost 6 years of marriage, we are planing for a child last 1 and half years. But during this period, I personally feel lack of desire of Sex . Mainly those days, where Dr. told us, that we should do Intercourse, during this routine. Due to this, I am not feeling good or Sometime not prepare my body for Sex play, feeling disturb, or sometime lose concentration during Intercourse.
Our general intercourse rate is average or even low , not more than 3 to 4 times within a month. But in general when we meet without any pre-schedule planning, I feel energetic & everything goes fine. But when Dr. tell us do the Intercourse in that routine Manner (14 to 17 day after period), every day, or alternative day, nothing going smoothly. Even I feel this unwillingness (lack of desire), even more than My Wife.
We are use to in foreplay, but this period, whenever we do intercourse I feel mechanical sex, rather than the normal one. I observed my wife ready to the Intercourse asap, as because Dr. advised, may be she is not prefer herself for Intercourse, as a result of that facing problem Vaginal dryness, boring & painful sex. And sometime Intercourse is not properly completed, because lose of concentration , which feel me very much frustrating. Rather than the enjoyment, it make my-self FEAR of sex, that I may not perform well or other negative feelings. Or feel my-self detach during sex, not prepare my body for sex.
Now most of the time I feel enjoyment during masturbate rather than Intercourse.
I know there is a mental pressure, that our age cross the limit of having child, so my is frustrated as well for this, She feel some time I am not willing to family planning. But it is not the case, I am unable to boost my self.
Unable to understand what to do.
Outside & inside her vaginal region. During this lubricant applying times, talk to one another. Recall vivid memories of sensual times experienced together.
If water is relaxing. Bathe together. Shower together. Wash each others hair. If talking about having a baby together is stimulating, tell each other how much you want to remember the conception during the upcoming pregnancy. There may be a disconnect here, emotionally. You may not want to mix these. That's ok too.
Your wife's most fertile time can be thought of in other ways too. She can be considered Mother Earth. You the bringer of life. Talk about what suits your needs.
Paint one another with non toxic finger paints. Draw life lines & circles of where baby will grow. The mind is engaged. The body will follow.
Read & write poetry to each other.
Start a gratitude list. Each day the other person can add something.
Please keep posting. We are here to help. Pamela