Too ugly for sex

[Codingirl]

Hi, I am not huge but the biggest I have been in my life.. I am a size 16-18.  I have been married for 15 years and have a daughter.  I feel like I am too ugly for sex.  I feel like it is for only thin attractive people.  I find myself repulsive.  I plan on losing weight but not sure if I ever will be where I would like to be.. Also my husband is obsessed with my breasts that's it.. No hugs, kisses, just grabbing my breasts.. annoying.  Any help, suggestions etc?

[Codingirl]

Thank you both very much for your comments.  I agree with walking.  That would be a help.  Also, have been considering counseling.  Grew up with a mother and Grandmother obsessed with looks.

[AnnieBrooke]

I also think our perception of our attractiveness is affected by our significant other's reactions.  He doesn't sound like he is trying very hard to be warm and loving, which might affect your opinion of yourself.  But, self-image is really supposed to start with our own heart and who we think we are.  So, I would suggest talking to a counselor about how you feel about yourself, with an idea towards moving to a positive body image whether you're size 0 or size 30.  Granted, in our world women are under a lot of pressure not to carry extra weight, but some carry it off.  Look up "positive body image heros" or like that on the Internet and you will find some amazing women with inspirational quotes.

[YardBull]

Of course, sex is not just "for only thin attractive people", because that would rule out many people who are having sex, along with many people who are not thin but still very attractive, depending on one's interest.  However, your self-image and negative feelings are at play here and affect your life in general.  To help that, without doing anything extreme, it would be good to at least walk for 30 minutes per day, preferably 60 minutes, if you can find the time.  Perhaps you could get your husband involved.  His behavior might be more challenging if you want him to be more romantic and loving.  .