Aa
celibacy, Christianity and worried about erections
I need something cleared up....
I'm 29 and although I have had relationships where I have been sexually active, haven't had intercourse before but have been masturbating on average once a day, from the age of 14...so that's obviously ALOT of self stimulating and orgasms of the last 15 years.
Now I'm wondering about my erections....I've read that an erection needs to have its hardness maintained for a sufficient period of time. I'm not sure if I can do that....for example I notice when I masturbate I can get my erection hard, although maybe not all that hard like 70%, but then as soon as I stop touching it, it will go softer...IS THIS NORMAL? I read that you need CONSTANT arousal in order to maintain erections...TRUE? I'm confused because I'm so used to just whacking off that I haven't really analysed what's going on here until I've been reading these forums.
During the only two occasions where I tried to have sexual intercourse my erection, although hard to begin with, went soft. However, it should be noted that I CAN get hard if and when I kiss my gf or have a passionate embrace etc. OR when I recall something sexual from my past OR just see some porn WITHOUT having to touch myself. For example the other week when I was kissing my gf out on the street, I notice myself getting hard.
On top of this I realise I have other barriers which have probably affected my mental state of mind and as a result affect my erections when it comes to sexual activity...including my strong Christian background which has taught me that sex before marriage is wrong, uncertainty about the girlfriends I have been with (whether I really want to be with them or not etc.), my compulsive porn and masturbation habit.
So there are alot of other issues (which infact I have detailed in my first thread), but 3 things I'm worried about -
1. whether my erection is hard enough for penetration in the first place
2. why my erection's hardness isn't maintained for the duration of sexual activity or why when I stop touching myself I will lose hardness
3. whether the "no sex before marriage" rule that I've held so strongly still has a hold on me
I'm 29 and although I have had relationships where I have been sexually active, haven't had intercourse before but have been masturbating on average once a day, from the age of 14...so that's obviously ALOT of self stimulating and orgasms of the last 15 years.
Now I'm wondering about my erections....I've read that an erection needs to have its hardness maintained for a sufficient period of time. I'm not sure if I can do that....for example I notice when I masturbate I can get my erection hard, although maybe not all that hard like 70%, but then as soon as I stop touching it, it will go softer...IS THIS NORMAL? I read that you need CONSTANT arousal in order to maintain erections...TRUE? I'm confused because I'm so used to just whacking off that I haven't really analysed what's going on here until I've been reading these forums.
During the only two occasions where I tried to have sexual intercourse my erection, although hard to begin with, went soft. However, it should be noted that I CAN get hard if and when I kiss my gf or have a passionate embrace etc. OR when I recall something sexual from my past OR just see some porn WITHOUT having to touch myself. For example the other week when I was kissing my gf out on the street, I notice myself getting hard.
On top of this I realise I have other barriers which have probably affected my mental state of mind and as a result affect my erections when it comes to sexual activity...including my strong Christian background which has taught me that sex before marriage is wrong, uncertainty about the girlfriends I have been with (whether I really want to be with them or not etc.), my compulsive porn and masturbation habit.
So there are alot of other issues (which infact I have detailed in my first thread), but 3 things I'm worried about -
1. whether my erection is hard enough for penetration in the first place
2. why my erection's hardness isn't maintained for the duration of sexual activity or why when I stop touching myself I will lose hardness
3. whether the "no sex before marriage" rule that I've held so strongly still has a hold on me
Pornography plus masturbation means say bye byr to your sexual life, SAVE YOURSELF AND QUIT IMMIEDATELY!!
Hi EOTW, Well with all this masturbating and whatching porn, I think your best way out would be to take an 8 week break from masturbating and any sexual contact, its called rebooting, as this will help heal your body, by week 4 your should start to get your nocturnal erections back along with your morning woods, the other thing is to give up on the porn, get rid of it, this is blocking your sexual receavers, also not helping your erections.
Ok your question about sex before marrage, well a small question back would be, would you buy a coat or suit without trying it on, answer no, well sex and marrage do go hand in hand, if its not working this can put a lot of pressure on the relationship, so sex before marrage, its how we know if we knit together, you need to be a sexual match.
So go get your g/f after you have done the 8 weeks, get your cloths off and enjoy yourselfs.
Hope all this helps you.
Good Luck
Ok your question about sex before marrage, well a small question back would be, would you buy a coat or suit without trying it on, answer no, well sex and marrage do go hand in hand, if its not working this can put a lot of pressure on the relationship, so sex before marrage, its how we know if we knit together, you need to be a sexual match.
So go get your g/f after you have done the 8 weeks, get your cloths off and enjoy yourselfs.
Hope all this helps you.
Good Luck
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Sexual Health Community
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Discharge often isn't normal, and could mean an infection or an STD.
STDs aren't transmitted through clothing. Fabric is a germ barrier.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.
