How can I enjoy sex

[narla]

I have been married for 29 yrs,but have never been able to enjoy a normal sexual relationship with my husband.I love him dearly and he's very understanding,My skin crawls when he touches me and I have to psyche myself to have sex(I don't call it lovemaking)My problem is I was sexually abused as a 7 to 10 yr old by my brother who was 10 yrs older than me.I have a lot of guilt because at the time I found it enjoyable,he was loving and gentle,gave me money and gifts.It wasn't until later I realized what happened was wrong.At 14 I became very promiscuous I had nothing to lose my virginity was gone anyway,I was having sex with men and women aged up to 55 they were introduced to me by a 28 yr old woman I used to babysit for. My problem is I can't relax and have never had an orgasm with my husband,or any one else before I met him, the only way I can is by self stimulation,But I have to be alone my husband can't be in the room or I can't relax enough.Any helpful suggestions would be welcomed.I am in therapy due to the sexual abuse at the moment.I was wondering if anyone has had sexual therapy and whether it might help.

[narla]

Thank you for replying to my post.I'm in therapy at the moment working on changing my negative thoughts and feelings,and yes my introduction to sex was warped,May be your right once I get rid of the guilt  and everything else things will work themselves out.

                          Thank You, Denise

[lisa768]

I cannot relate to you experience wise but it seems to me that your feelings of sex seem to be very tainted. You need distinguish between lust and love. If you love your husband then don't think of sex as sex, think of it was expressing your love for him in a very passionate way, guilt free, because it is "guilt free". We are instinctive creatures so no one blames you for enjoying sex, it's not your fault.