troubled

[littlevalshea]

my husband recently started getting tattoos and wants even more. i find them a turnoff and am having problems getting orgasms.  i have tried to discuss this with him and asked him not to get any more but he is determined. am i going to become unable to orgasm at all?

[Magdelenna]

I agree with  AnnieBrooke. It seems there is a little more to the absence of orgasms than the tattoos. When people start to make changes to their physical bodies they are trying to improve their image and perhaps self esteem. Maybe he is reaching out to you or even someone who will notice him. Try showering him sexually and with "ego building" compliments. Experiment and see if he responds well. Even if you do not feel like it, play the devils advocate and get to the heart of it. Maybe you will discover something about him and he in turn will discover something about you. We women always give and get burnt out but if you find out why he is doing these self improvement to himself maybe it is him trying to get your attention. Could not hurt to try it.

[AnnieBrooke]

If your orgasms are going away, you need to tell your husband that it is probably a deal-breaker in the marriage in the long run for him to go against your request.  It seems like there must be more behind the aversion you have to tattoos.  Was your sexual relationship happy before this, or did it suffer in the past when he went against something you really cared about?  I'm just trying to think about whether the tattoos themselves are the problem (they would have to be associated with something strongly negative, such as early and disgusting exposure to someone awful who was tattooed, to go so far as to affect one's orgasms), or if the issue is the fight over the fact that you don't like something he is doing, and he does it anyway, and this causes resentment (which might happen whether tattoos or something else is the ostensible cause of the fight).  If your orgasms have disappeared before during a time when you two strongly disagreed, the tattoos themselves might not be the issue, it might be the anger.  The only reason I'm wondering this is that if someone was in bed that she thought was entirely hot and exciting, and he had tattoos, she would probably find tattoos hot and exciting too.  The excitement of the guy would sweep the tattoos into the package and she'd find them OK.