Hello, I'm taking on the task to help a family member of mine who has been a recreational cocaine user for 15 years. I need some sort of direction as far as what I need to do to be morally and emotionally supportive. I know attempting recovery, maintaining abstinence is a daunting task, so I need to make sure I won't end up doing the exact opposite of trying to help my cousin overcome this addiction.
He has gone even 5 years without using and then goes though periods of not using then using is all he can think about. Most recently, he's been using every weekend for the last month and before that, he used occasionally though the last year with a 3 month break of not using.
We are cousins, and he shared with me that he needs to recover and start treatment and the reason he's coming to me is because we are close and I was never really involved with the times he did go to rehab, meetings, therapy, etc. and at those times, he suffered and dealth through the process, in what he says he was "alone". I was aware of him going to previous treatments, but kept my distance as I thought he was getting support from his mother and sister, but the past few years, I've come to realize that they are verbally & mentally abusive to him, they are very dependent on him to take care of thier bills, household handyman work, and they are very relentless at it, despite his sister having a husband of her own. They create a very stressful environment for him, he says so and you can actually see his stature change when he's around them. They act like they "own" him and hold a grudge against him because of what he's "put them through" as they witnessed his drug abuse and in & out of jail on a few occasions. I do not think they are very supportive and positive as far as having someone who is going through drug recovery. They are just down right and cruel to him with snarky comments and I can see how hurt he feels and he has come to me because he shared that he feels he can not get the support he needs from his immediate family. His father is completely out of the picture and his extended family is rather small. We are in our mid thirties.
Can anyone offer me some sort of advice on what I can expect and how I can help him? It would be much appreciated.