inneedofhelp

[Jaquta]

Hi
I hope you make it home today and that the therapy is going well.

[inneedofhelp82]

I agree he does baby me too much. My mood has really hit the bottom again i thought i was going to be ok but i felt it dropping last night and today is even worse it doesn't matter what i do i don't feel any better. I went to my uncles 60th birthday last night and i still felt depressed i just wanted to cry, i feel like all these people are related to me but if i weren't here it wouldn't matter, no body really cares. I have a lot of aunts and uncles, my father and mother never went probably because i was there. It feels awful to feel that no one really cares about me.
I even felt like that yesterday when i was helping prepare food for it i was so tired and just wanted to disappear.
I feel like i can trust no one i feel really suspucious of everyone even my relatives i wonder what they know about me and anything that ever happened, do they know?
Did you manage to get any sleep?
Yeah regular exercise is better that just now and again, i used to exercise regularly and it really worked.
I can not believe how depressed i feel today i am considering calling the out of hours number but i couldn't even be bothered talking to them.
I hope you get your finger sorted.
I am considering pulling out of the therapy i am so confused about it all and i want to scream.
I hope you got some sleep. Take care.

[Jaquta]

Call the number and stay in therapy.  Work through what is hurting you, annoying you, etc.

Sorry this is so short.  Still feel quite tired and not that well.  I'm just run down I guess.

[inneedofhelp82]

Just rest as much as you can and take it easy, i hope you feel better soon. Take care

[Jaquta]

I hope I feel better soon too.
I can probably stretch to a few lines but do feel pretty rubbishy.  I see my GP tomorrow.  Likely he will just say that there is nothing wrong.  As is the way.
Take care and will chat soon.  Good luck for everything this week.

[inneedofhelp82]

Hope it goes well with your GP. Its frustrating feeling ill i hope your GP can help. I have therapy on Wednesday and i go to respite first to write some stuff for my therapist its very hard emotionally to write so my social worker says i should go there to do it then she will take me to therapy.
I am going to try and stick it out, i was talking to a friend today and he said i really frustrate him at times so if i do the same to you at anytime then i apologise.
My head is so messed up and he said he keeps trying to help and i don't listen but he said he didn't want to tell me this before, but he said that could be what is wrong with my therapist. My moods change so quickly i go from ok to really suicidal and then back to ok and this all happens quite quickly. I wish my therapist could tell me why i feel like this. I know they are treating me for trauma but i was feeling suicidal even before what happened last year. I really wish they could tell me why i feel the way i do instead of giving me a list of things. Maybe the depression made me suicidal i don't know i drive myself mad trying to work out why i feel the way i do.
Anyway sorry for going on i know you are ill. I hope you feel better soon. Take care

[Jaquta]

I'm sure we all frustrate each other at times.  There must be times when you have felt frustrated by your friend.

You don't listen because the material feels like an assault.  Try reading Dr Gould's blogs under expert activity.  The same applies to other areas of our lives.

The mood changes are probably due to black and white thinking.  One moment things will be black the next white.  Same with all-or-nothing, good and bad.

I still feel pretty bad but I got some meds so hopefully they will help (the reflux anyway).