I really hope it works out for you and your son. I can't begin to imagine how all this has affected your life. You seem like a phenomenal parent, looking out for their child's best interest.
Hi, My son is about to go through puberty, so it is nice to hear what I have to look forward to. LOL. His school was fed up last year. He was suspended 3 times for verbal outbursts,
Look into Habit reversal therapy.
Cognitive behavioral Therapy, and
Look into your major universities. I live in NC and Duke has an excellent program specific for those with OCD, Anxiety and Neurological disorders like Tourettes and Autism.
Make sure you know your rights for your son. Go to the Wrights Law website. That will get you up to date on all IEP and 504 plan things. The school should be putting supports in place for him. .IF not, then you need to request a meeting with the teachers to figure one out. Every state is different, so call the Public Instruction office or ask the school for your rights handbook and make sure if you feel uncomfortable you get an advocate to go with you, this could be another parent, a friend, or a specialist from an agency.
Good luck.