Aa
Don't know what to do!
Pregnant with baby number 2...not sure if I should keep it or not need help on what I should do? I am 10 weeks pregnant
COMMUNITY LEADER
And by the way, all intercourse even WITH protection can lead to pregnancy. Birth control fails a significant percentage of the time. So, we should not assume in situations like this.
Luck to the poster
Luck to the poster
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi there. This is the Woman's Choice forum and it is a safe place for a woman to discuss abortion as an option. It's a legal choice and every woman has the right to choose that option for themselves. It's not always the best thing for someone to have a baby, but only SHE knows that. None of us walk in her shoes and this community is to support her in making the best decision including the option of abortion.
So, in this situation, I admire you for having the courage to know that this may be too much. You've been through a birth already and have a good idea what child rearing is like, how much it costs, how hard it can be. You are in a position to judge if a second child is a good choice or not for you at this time.
If it were me, I'd take a pen to paper and try to think about all the pros and cons to having this second child. There will be both and you'll maybe notice which seems like it is better for you if you write it all out. If you decide to keep the baby, start making plans now to prepare.
If it is not the best time to have a child, then think about which of the two options makes more sense to you. Abortion is a good option when someone does not want to go through pregnancy, doesn't want to deal with the questions and judgment, etc. It can make the situation go away. It's a hard choice! But when made for the right reasons, women usually are sad but don't regret it. There is also adoption which can be win win for everyone. You get to go on with your life and then have a second child when it is better for you and a couple gets a baby to love.
So, think of what works best for you hon and I am here to help if I can. peace and hugs
So, in this situation, I admire you for having the courage to know that this may be too much. You've been through a birth already and have a good idea what child rearing is like, how much it costs, how hard it can be. You are in a position to judge if a second child is a good choice or not for you at this time.
If it were me, I'd take a pen to paper and try to think about all the pros and cons to having this second child. There will be both and you'll maybe notice which seems like it is better for you if you write it all out. If you decide to keep the baby, start making plans now to prepare.
If it is not the best time to have a child, then think about which of the two options makes more sense to you. Abortion is a good option when someone does not want to go through pregnancy, doesn't want to deal with the questions and judgment, etc. It can make the situation go away. It's a hard choice! But when made for the right reasons, women usually are sad but don't regret it. There is also adoption which can be win win for everyone. You get to go on with your life and then have a second child when it is better for you and a couple gets a baby to love.
So, think of what works best for you hon and I am here to help if I can. peace and hugs
Its a tough decision that only you can make...don't let anyone guilt trip you into anything. Its going to be a hard decision because you are debating in ending a life or keeping a life and you have to think of the consequences.
In my opinion however I would try to convince you to keep your baby. Life is hard and sometimes whether planned or not we are put in situations we feel we can not handle. I believe you can handle it you have been able to provide for your 1st you can do it for your second. will it be hard? Yes. Will you struggle? Yes. Will you cry out of frustration? YES. But you made the decision to have sex and this is the outcome now you need to be responsible and handle the situation just the way you handled it when you had sex. This is a life that you are creating look at your first child and ask yourself if you would have been happy knowing you wanted to end her life because you were not ready. I don't mean to sound mean at all.
I shared my story with another girl who was also having doubts and I'll share it with you too...Me and my hubby went from living in the car to having our car taken away, from having jobs to both of us loosing our jobs, than we didn't have the support of our family, we were literally at rock bottom we had nothing and I was pregnant and scared and we didn't know how we would be able to get on our feet. We prayed and started going to church and I swear everything changed. Slowly we started getting back on our feet slowly our friends started helping us, letting us sleep over a night or two, letting us shower at their place, we both found jobs low paying but it was enough, once we started getting paid we started living out of a motel, than from there we finally worked things out with our families, his sister let us stay at there house and about a month ago we got our own place. We started out with literally nothing and now we have what we need and I am glad we didn't give up. As long as you have family and friends to support you even emotionally that is a big help. You might feel helpless right now you might even feel like it is impossible but if you put your mind to it you and your baby daddy can do this. He needs to get a job and help period and if he doesn't do what he needs to than you need to take the steps that will force him to do it and look for programs that help single moms. There is no shame in welfare, cal-fresh, WIC or any of those programs the only shame falls on those who abuse the system. Before you make this big decision I encourage you to check out programs that help single moms. I hope I was helpful, Good luck and if it isn't too much to ask keep us posted.
In my opinion however I would try to convince you to keep your baby. Life is hard and sometimes whether planned or not we are put in situations we feel we can not handle. I believe you can handle it you have been able to provide for your 1st you can do it for your second. will it be hard? Yes. Will you struggle? Yes. Will you cry out of frustration? YES. But you made the decision to have sex and this is the outcome now you need to be responsible and handle the situation just the way you handled it when you had sex. This is a life that you are creating look at your first child and ask yourself if you would have been happy knowing you wanted to end her life because you were not ready. I don't mean to sound mean at all.
I shared my story with another girl who was also having doubts and I'll share it with you too...Me and my hubby went from living in the car to having our car taken away, from having jobs to both of us loosing our jobs, than we didn't have the support of our family, we were literally at rock bottom we had nothing and I was pregnant and scared and we didn't know how we would be able to get on our feet. We prayed and started going to church and I swear everything changed. Slowly we started getting back on our feet slowly our friends started helping us, letting us sleep over a night or two, letting us shower at their place, we both found jobs low paying but it was enough, once we started getting paid we started living out of a motel, than from there we finally worked things out with our families, his sister let us stay at there house and about a month ago we got our own place. We started out with literally nothing and now we have what we need and I am glad we didn't give up. As long as you have family and friends to support you even emotionally that is a big help. You might feel helpless right now you might even feel like it is impossible but if you put your mind to it you and your baby daddy can do this. He needs to get a job and help period and if he doesn't do what he needs to than you need to take the steps that will force him to do it and look for programs that help single moms. There is no shame in welfare, cal-fresh, WIC or any of those programs the only shame falls on those who abuse the system. Before you make this big decision I encourage you to check out programs that help single moms. I hope I was helpful, Good luck and if it isn't too much to ask keep us posted.
She never once actually straight up said she was talking about getting an abortion. For all we know the OP is against those too. Everyone should quit assuming that's automatically what she meant.
My respectful opinion is please don't do that there is no need to be in any religion to tell u that abortion its a very bad sin u would make ..I don't want to offend u but please dont do it u will regret it later in your life and there won't be a way to fix it when its done I agree with everyone adoption is the best option ...I personally don't never ever do that I prefer to look for help if I wasn't economically stable but never do that to my own blood specially 10weeks its 2 and 1/2 month u are killing an angel... I heard that a women that does that believe or not are miserable for the rest of their life I don't want to go deep or disrespect u but is not a myth or a tale its the truth...what if then god doesn't give u another chance ever in ur life to be a mother if u want another one later on the future like am saying religion does not have to do on this what am saying ...think about it ...I hope u don't get an abortion..good luck u can do it this is my second baby due this week and my first its 3 years old he was 2 and 1/2 when I got pregnant..and I already love my baby girl coming soon...its up to u my reasonable and sincerely opinion..
If you can whole heartedly, without any regrets get an abortion then its your choice. If I was you, I'd honestly put the baby up for adoption if you fully aren't ready for it, however you need to be able to stand by the decision you make and not be influenced by anyone. At the end of the day yes you should be more careful and at 10weeks it's a little fetus with a heartbeat but its your body and your mental state that people do need to take into account. You should only put your body and mind through something you're ready for.
If you feel abortion is best then i wish you luck. Just keep in mind you may feel guilty about it for the rest of your life. I personally think adoption is a better choice. 2 kids are expensive and require alot more work but its not impossible there is all kinds of help out there. but dont base your decision on everyone elses opinions. You need to do what is right for you. You need to find someone trust worthy and who could inform you properly on all your choices. Act quickly though your almost 3 months pregnant. Good luck.
I don't think she's being rude I think she's being honest and direct. That life is not yours or anyone's too take. At 10 weeks its already forming legs and arms its a human you don't want it or cant have it because " your not ready " than look into adoption its a beautiful selfless thing .. it takes a stronger person to admit they made a "mistake" and give up that precious baby to a loving family than to say ohh I cant do it and have an abortion IN MY opinion.
It's not a lecture, it's the truth. I'm giving my opinion just like you're giving yours.
That is a decision only you can make. Don't let anyone pressure you having a baby is a big deal and a lot of work. Just make sure you really think about the decision you make and that, that's what YOU want. I do however recommend adoption if you chose not to keep the baby. There are thousands and thousands of couples out there who can't have children of their own who are dying to adopt a baby and I'm sure would love nothing more than to pour their heart and soul into caring for him/her.
Relax, she doesn't need a lecture. Don't be rude.
If you don't feel you can support another child there is always adoption. Lots of couples out there more than willing to adopt.
I'm not sure where you're from, but I hear in the states there is something called WIC and it helps pregnant women. You could always look into that.
I'm not sure where you're from, but I hear in the states there is something called WIC and it helps pregnant women. You could always look into that.
Give it up for adoption, you should of thought about that one when you layed with him and had UNPROTECTED sex, which is what that leads to.
Because I personally think im not ready for a second baby im financially not ready for baby number 2 and the person I'm pregnant from does not have a job I feel like I'm being pressured in keeping a baby I don't want
Why are you unsure?
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