Aa
Cant decide & only 5 weeks til its too late....
I am having a really hard time deciding whether I should get an abortion or not, and I'm already 15 weeks so I dont have much time... Long story short, I'm only 18 and the bd isn't supportive at all anymore, I'm terrified of being a single mom because I know nothing about babies of children, and I honestly don't think that if I carry this to full term that I can just give my baby away... Then again if I'm a single mom I have to look at my child every day and think of the man that I'm totally in love with and sacrificed so much for that doesn't even care about me anymore... But I already have severe clinical depression and am afraid of the guilt if I have an abortion...I am so lost, and am running out of time!!:((((
Thank you. It means a lot that you have put that much consideration into your comments. I am going to call an old therapist tomorrow, one that I trust with everything.
Hi, rosey, I've been thinking about you and this choice, and all the sturm und drang in your life with your mother and her addiction problem and his mother and her possibly inappropriate affection, and him with the brain injury, and I think your life is so full of drama that you really need to start charting out one that does not involve any of these people, no matter what you do about the immediate issue of pregnancy. Please see a counselor or therapist as soon as possible, call and tell them it is really urgent. Then lay it all out. As you say, you have only so much time to make this decision and then it is made by default, and you would be facing an adoption decision then which you say you can't do. So, getting your life together without all of these people and their problems, might be the solution. Please see a counselor to try to put this all together.
Well, rosey, hard as it sounds, you are going to have to decide. From your other posts, it also sounds like you think your boyfriend's mother is crazy or sexually inappropriate with her son, and that maybe your boyfriend thinks this is OK?
With all of this on your plate, I would see a counselor or therapist. Lay it all out, have two appointments a week until you get clear in your thinking. You say you "can't" do adoption and "can't" have an abortion but you have logical reasons to worry about going the single-mom route, given that you are only 18. You're like a big vehicle that has driven into an alleyway with a dead end. You have to do something. So, seek out a counselor and don't be slow (given your deadline), and decide which route is the one for you.
With all of this on your plate, I would see a counselor or therapist. Lay it all out, have two appointments a week until you get clear in your thinking. You say you "can't" do adoption and "can't" have an abortion but you have logical reasons to worry about going the single-mom route, given that you are only 18. You're like a big vehicle that has driven into an alleyway with a dead end. You have to do something. So, seek out a counselor and don't be slow (given your deadline), and decide which route is the one for you.
I can't do adoption, I can't carry this baby to full term just to in turn give it away to strangers. Open adoption would still be hard, then I would have to see my child calling another woman "mom" and that would just be heartbreaking.
So its either termination or keeping it, in my situation anyways. And I just cannot decide for the life of me...
So its either termination or keeping it, in my situation anyways. And I just cannot decide for the life of me...
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi there ladies and welcome to med help. To the original poster, well, yes. This is a very hard decision. I think what you need to do is maybe get out paper and pencil and write the pros and cons of each scenario out for yourself to look at objectively. I do agree that raising a child alone is really hard and not what everyone should do. It's expensive and exhausting and does tend to change the course of someone's life in a way that isn't always positive. Don't get me wrong, I'm a mom of two and love my boys dearly. But it is hard for me, even as a married woman who planned the pregnancies. Things to think about in regards to having the child---- insurance, hopsital bills, childcare so you can work/go to school (but would also probably have to work for some income), where to live, who could possibly give you a hand from time to time, etc. I would establish paternity for sure right away through dna testing so that you can ask for child support. But child support is based on the father's income and if he is young and not earning much now, the amount may not be very much. But on the otherhand, while it is hard, this is your baby and many women muster up the strength to get the job done.
Then you can look at adoption. A very wonderful option for everone in many ways.
and then termination. This is an easy answer for making it all go away. however, one often does have some emotional hardship after to deal with.
There is no shame in any of these choices. You have to figure out which one works the very best for you and the life you have. I wish you lots of luck. Peace and goodluck
Then you can look at adoption. A very wonderful option for everone in many ways.
and then termination. This is an easy answer for making it all go away. however, one often does have some emotional hardship after to deal with.
There is no shame in any of these choices. You have to figure out which one works the very best for you and the life you have. I wish you lots of luck. Peace and goodluck
I'm pregnant now and going through the same thing but a difference is I had a abortion before having a abortion really affected my while life I been depressed I recently was a alcoholic and I'm only 20 I'm sad about my bf but I know I want my child regardless of him so many girls do it younger than us why can't we getting rid of a baby will really mess up your head especially because you feel you have to do it for a boy its not your fault you loved him more than he loved you I know you will be a great parent because if you can love a man that much you will love your baby unconditionally its ok but know your decision will effect the rest of your life
Sounds like adoption is a realistic option if you are worried about going into further depression. Have you talked to anyone about the possibility? There are some helpful agencies, and open adoptions are possible (so you would not lose touch with the child).
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