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18 and pregnant - decisions, decisions
Hi, I am 18 and about 5-6 weeks pregnant. I am a very mature and capable 18 year old in a steady relationship. However, I am currently studying a double degree at university and also doing a 12 month fitness course (that I started only a couple of months ago). My partner and I also planned on travelling and not having children until we are 25 or so. Recently I nagged him for children, as I always wanted to be a young mum. Now I have fallen pregnant (by accident, I had taken the morning after pill), I don't know what I want. I know I could cope with a child, but what effect would it have on our relationship and our plans? I've considered abortion, and I could go through with it, if I knew it was what my partner truly wanted. Although, I'm not sure how we would cope with the guilt of it, and we'd always be wondering "what if". If anyone has any helpful experience to help us make a decision, please share. Thank you.
Best Answer
Having a child doesn't mean you have to give up all of your dreams. It sounds like you have a loving family who would be more than willing to help you while you finish school. You can still accomplish all the things you want, it might just take a little longer to get there. Ultimately, it us your choice.
What a well written blog! It's great that you put down all of your thoughts, and described the decision process. It's stories like yours that help to squash the misconceptions (like that every woman who has an abortion regrets it, that it's so painful, etc etc).
Yours is a real life story, and it's awesome that you shared it.
One day, when the time is right, you'll be a Mom! Good luck to you.
Yours is a real life story, and it's awesome that you shared it.
One day, when the time is right, you'll be a Mom! Good luck to you.
COMMUNITY LEADER
This forum is intended for those to discuss abortion openly and without any shame or guilt as there should not be any for making this choice, which is a woman's right. luck to all
I chose to have an abortion. I posted my story on a blog, as well as an essay I wrote on abortion. Please read with an open mind.
http://moralpermissibilityofabortion.blogspot.com
http://moralpermissibilityofabortion.blogspot.com
COMMUNITY LEADER
The question was did she know anyone who could relate or in a similar situation. As I have a college roommate that was in the EXACT same situation and as someone who attended college myself with many expectations for the kind of life I'd have --- I can relate very well to her predicament.
We live in a country in which abortion is legal and choice is something EVERY woman should have with absolutely no guilt from anyone because of that person's personal view on abortion.
In no way would my life be as it has turned out had I had a child very young while in college and I really like my life. That's not to say that the poster should have an abortion but she has a lot at stake and should be free to do what is best for HER. luck to all.
We live in a country in which abortion is legal and choice is something EVERY woman should have with absolutely no guilt from anyone because of that person's personal view on abortion.
In no way would my life be as it has turned out had I had a child very young while in college and I really like my life. That's not to say that the poster should have an abortion but she has a lot at stake and should be free to do what is best for HER. luck to all.
COMMUNITY LEADER
I don't think anyone should base this decision on another's troubles. My friends who have had abortions, each and everyone, had children at a later date when it was a good time.
Congratulations Honey...plz keep the baby..children are a gift and blessing from god, not everyone in this world gets it.i got married at 23 yrs and after trying for 5yrs god blessed us with a beautiful girl whoz now 2 and every time she calls me mommy believe me all my tensions and whole day's stress is gone...anyways the choice is yours wheather you want to accept the bundle of joy or not. Enjoy
COMMUNITY LEADER
My roommate in college was in a similar situation. To have a baby would be to give up her dreams. In no way is it the same to pursue your career as a young woman as a single mom or even a mom in general. I'm a mom now and kids become your main focus,. To stay late at the office or work the long hours that are often necessary in the early stages of your career are hard if there is a child at home. frankly, I didn't even want to work when I had kids. Luckily, I'd had years under my belt of a successful career so I could make that decision without damaging my marketability later on. I already had the experience rather than still needing to acquire it.
Anyway, my roommate aborted. She did not want to have the way she envisioned her life change. She didn't end up marrying the boyfriend that she loved so much in college but later on met her now husband. She had a wonderful time traveling, moving ahead in her chosen profession, getting very stable financially, etc. She married and after a couple of years, they began their family. She has three beautiful children.
She does not regret the decision at all. She has the life she wanted rather than that of being a single mom or even a super young mom with not a lot of assets or career to fall back on. No knock on those in that position, but being financially stable, emotionally mature, READY and DESIRING a child is a great way to have one. And you are not at all selfish for waiting until you are in that situation. In fact, I'd argue that you are smart.
but the choice is yours. My friend's life would have been different has she not put herself first. That's the experience I can share with you. You have a lot going for you. This would alter your life significantly and possibly in a way that will make it much more difficult. Down the road, it could be better timing. Maybe not. YOU have to decide. good luck sweetie and I'm here if you need to talk about this. peace
Anyway, my roommate aborted. She did not want to have the way she envisioned her life change. She didn't end up marrying the boyfriend that she loved so much in college but later on met her now husband. She had a wonderful time traveling, moving ahead in her chosen profession, getting very stable financially, etc. She married and after a couple of years, they began their family. She has three beautiful children.
She does not regret the decision at all. She has the life she wanted rather than that of being a single mom or even a super young mom with not a lot of assets or career to fall back on. No knock on those in that position, but being financially stable, emotionally mature, READY and DESIRING a child is a great way to have one. And you are not at all selfish for waiting until you are in that situation. In fact, I'd argue that you are smart.
but the choice is yours. My friend's life would have been different has she not put herself first. That's the experience I can share with you. You have a lot going for you. This would alter your life significantly and possibly in a way that will make it much more difficult. Down the road, it could be better timing. Maybe not. YOU have to decide. good luck sweetie and I'm here if you need to talk about this. peace
Do what's best for you, whether it's abortion or adoption your life!
I really hope you decide to keep the baby. Everything happens for a reason. You can still make your dreams come true they just might not happen in the same order you originally invisioned. Good luck honey. God bless you in whatever you decide.
So keep the baby im a young mom and my bf is young you will love him/ her yall might argue but all that matters is to work it out nomore what
I found out i was pregnant at 17 an the fathers not in the picture and i still live at home and im 18 now and 38 weeks with a healthy baby boy! In my opinion don't get an abortion h baby already has a heart beat and is alive and if u consider adoption just think about how ull feel down the road when ur having another baby
I have thought about adoption, and I would love more than anything to help a deserving couple! Or I even know my mother would love another child (she is only 43, and cannot have more children due to her Bipolar medication). BUT, I know myself and my partner all too well, we would get attached and not be able to give it up. I know that sounds selfish, but I don't think adoption could work for us, especially not if it is our first child.
I thought about abortion and adoption but couldn't go through with either after my first doctors appointment
No matter what decision you make there's always going to be those "what if" moments.
The way I see it in your position, you and your partner really need to think about your options. In my opinion there is no bad choice of which you'll choose. I'm also 18, although I chose to keep my baby knowing my whole future has now changed completely and I'm fine with that. I know it'll be hard but I'll get through it with the help of my family and partner
The way I see it in your position, you and your partner really need to think about your options. In my opinion there is no bad choice of which you'll choose. I'm also 18, although I chose to keep my baby knowing my whole future has now changed completely and I'm fine with that. I know it'll be hard but I'll get through it with the help of my family and partner
Do adoption if you do not want the baby or aren't ready, i'm 19 pregnant with my second little one. & honestly at this point i'm really annoyed at people that do abortion, i have a clot next to my baby & could lose him or her. But its your choice at the end anyways just know your baby has a beating heart now & can feel pain.
I would encourage adoption. There are a lot of loving people who can't have children for medical reasons. I think you should do your research and find a couple who would want to adopt your child. I think they even pay for medical expenses and everything depending on the situation. Maybe the Department of Human Services can help you get more information. This way your child can avoid state run foster care.
Abortion is not easy and really is emotional if you decided to do it just prepare yourself for a emotional guilt
Adoption
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