Hi everyone,
My name is Sherry, and I am new to the medhelp community, but I feel compelled to share my story and ask for the help of those who have been through something like this before.
Quick bit of background information: My husband, Steve, and I have been married for over 9 years, and have two beautiful sons. We married young, and although our marriage wasn't picture perfect, we were overall in love, happy, active, pretty successful in our careers. A few years before we married, my husband had been in and out of rehab for cocaine abuse and even after he got out, he continued to "party" with other drugs, although he never went back to coke exclusively. Fast forward a few years, he got in some legal trouble and was placed on probation--forcing him to clean up his act. He did, and then we married and our oldest son came along shortly thereafter.
Like I said, most of the time, our marriage was fine. The drug use appeared to be a thing of the past, with him only occasionally smoking pot (which I didn't like at all) or having a beer or two. Nothing else.
Then, we started noticing some changes about a year and a half ago. He was always agitated, angry, became violent, secretive, always had to run out to the gas station (which was about 5 minutes away from the house and he would be gone about an hour). He started to lose a lot of weight, sweating profusely, his once voracious appetite disappeared--he would pick at his food, had huge dark circles under his eyes, always needed to drink or smoke pot in the evenings, would make some excuse to go sleep on the couch because he couldn't sleep in the bed with me (he would toss and turn). And I noticed the biggest change in his personality--the once happy, loving, caring man that I had fallen in love with, the man who coached my son's little league team, had become a cold, self-centered, callous man who couldn't be bothered with anyone else's feelings--not mine, not his kids, not his family or even his good friends. I couldn't figure it out? Was he having an affair? Bipolar? What was happening to him? I even asked him if he was on drugs, and he told me I was crazy and paranoid for thinking like that.
Our marriage began to fall apart. Money began to disappear, and he became absent in our lives, always making up an excuse as to why he wasn't at home. He started lashing out on the kids and me, cursing like a sailor around the kids (something he would never have done before), saying that he could do whatever he wanted to, no one else mattered. And he lost over 30 lbs in a matter of a few months.
In June of this year, after weeks of fighting with me and the kids, he moved out. Said he was moving in with a buddy, but within a few weeks, was moved in with a disgusting, drug addicted girl that lives in the projects (sorry, I am not being jealous or judgmental here, but it is the truth). The old Steve would have never even shaken a stick at her, but now they were living together...ok?? His presence in the kids lives began to dwindle, as did his association with his own parents and other family members. On one visit to my home, he admitted to me that he had been prescribed Adderall by his doctor and had been taking it for a few months.
About a month later, early August of this year, I was online checking my health insurance claims and noticed about 5 different prescriptions filled over about a months time for Adderall. Each was filled at a different pharmacy, and it looked to be that he was having different doctors prescribe it each time. Then, later that month, I received a few letters in the mail, stating that the Adderall had been recalled and that Steve had prescriptions filled at these pharmacies and should return any unused pills. Here's the thing though--the letters came from pharmacies that were not listed on my insurance claim page online--MEANING HE WAS ALSO GETTING SCRIPTS FILLED BY PAYING CASH--NOT BILLING THEM TO THE INSURANCE!!!
I had enough--despite the fact that he had moved in with another woman, was never around for the kids, said horrible things to me all the time, he IS still my husband and I knew that deep down inside, the good, kind-hearted Steve was there somewhere. So I made it my mission to get to the bottom of this and get him help. I contacted the few doctors that I knew had prescribed him the Adderall--each of them did not know that the other had been treating Steve and prescribing him Adderall--and informed them of what I had found. That he was having several scripts filled, that he was hostile, violent, a completely different person. His main doc said he would confront him the next time he came in for the appointment. And he did...but then he just turned around and prescribed him Ritalin!! A few days later, Steve showed up at my doorstep, crying his eyes out, looking emaciated and sick. Said he felt horrible, that he missed me and the kids, that his life was out of control. For a few minutes, he was his old self. Speaking clearly, showing emotion, etc. But when I mentioned the Adderall, he snapped. Said he had told his doc that "he'd better prescribe him what he (steve) wanted or he would buy it on the street." He took off in his truck, going to work. Later that evening, he confessed to his parents that he was abusing the adderall, taking several pills a day, because he liked the way it made him feel--organized, energetic, invincible. He had even sold his Adderall at times. He also compared it to coke, saying that he had done a few lines a few weeks ago, and that it was nothing compared to the high he got from the Adderall. That scares the **** out of me!
Nothing happened then for a few weeks, until finally, he called out of the blue. Said he stopped taking everything, the Ritalin, the Adderall, everything. That he was feeling good, happy, healthy. I saw him this week, and he has gained some weight, has color in his face again, etc. I was happy for him, thinking he was on the right path, but at the same time, questioning who has that kind of willpower to go from several pills a day to nothing. And just as I was leaving, he said something that I can't get out of my head: "I have an appointment with my dr. next week and I am going to ask him to put me back on the Adderall. I know I got out of control with it for a while there, but I think that if I take it the right way, it will be better."
So now I am tempted to call the doctor that I think he is going to see and telling him all that I know. Hopefully, he will not prescribe it for him. Do you guys think that is the right thing to do? I just don't think he is capable of taking it the right way--maybe at some point in the future, but def not now...it is just too soon--do you all agree?? I just want him to go to rehab, and I know that he won't go until he hits his rock bottom...but we are sick of waiting, his kids miss him like crazy and he does not even come see them anymore--he is still living with that girl! He claims to love us, but has more than disappeared from our lives, and we want to help him before he ends up dead or in jail. Please help, any advice, input, etc. would be much appreciated. I am sorry this was so long!